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About Rrj147

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  1. Thankyou everyone great words of wisdom xxx
  2. Thanks kc Is ladyc still about?? I've missed getting her advice too!!
  3. Hi all, It's been a while since I've been on here. Been trying to work through a difficult time in my relationship which has ended up in a separation (he's been gone for 4 months.... this is going to end in divorce). My question for you all is.... Moving forward thinking about future relationships etc do you tell your new partner about the fact you were recently married to your cousin? Or is it safer to keep it a secret? For some reason I'm worried it will frighten people off! Any advice would be great xxx Thanks Rrj
  4. I know It's nothing we don't already know but I thought it was good to see it being spoken about in UK new articles as it's not really done here.... Hopefully it will continue in good light!
  5. https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.popsci.com/amp/marrying-cousins-genetics Not sure if someone else has already shown you guys this, but good to see this info mainstream papers!
  6. I second a referral to a genetic counsellor... they'e educated specifically in this sort of thing and will be able to get a full detailed history from various questions and give you a good insight as to whether or not this should be a problem. Good luck !
  7. I made the mistake of going into a relationship at the age of 17 and even though 14 years on we are still together with 3 children it hasn't been the easiest road and I feel if i would have been more mature I possibly would have made different decisions. Please please don't rush this. Give yourself a year or so and remember this may well just be an infatuation stage..... if in a yearor two you still feel the same then act on it. All the best x
  8. Just popping in to say I'm still not having the most easiest time. But whenever I feel bad or like everything is getting too much, i pop back on and read your message to me and it somehow makes me feel at ease again. So thank you both for that. I'm feeling very empty and out of love and I'm hoping that things get better soon xxxxxx but your support on here means so much
  9. The hurt is the worst part sometimes isn't it. Both of your stories have been so good to read and I really appreciate your honesty. It helps me so much to get a real felling for what you've been through as opposed to someone just saying to me "don't worry it's normal you'll get better". I do believe in God although I don't regularly go to church or read the bible. Although maybe I should... and I believe in the whole "through good times and bad, in sickness and health" . And that's why I've stayed around for so long. It's good to hear your stories of how you stuck it out and how things got better. My husband has definitely come back alot more calm and that's helping so much! Rolling stones I love!!! You have both been so kind in helping me. If anyone can help me with the questions I had about telling the children that would be fab xxx
  10. Your words are so calming and reassuring and just what I needed. My situation sounds very similar to yours and I am hanging on in there. I agree with you about not discussing this with too many people as it then gives them the right to talk about us. Our children know that my Nanny (grandmother) is their Nannys sister. But I don't think they've made the connection yet. My older daughter who is 6 is clever enough to understand if I tell her but I worry there's been enough tension so to speak recently within the house (nothing in front of them but she definitely picks up on my upset sometimes ) that it might be too much for her at the moment. But maybe I'll let the dust settle and mention in the new year. A lot of the parents etc at the school have no idea of our situation. I can imagine her being taught about relatives in class and immediately coming out with "my mum and dad are cousins " lol Once I've told them once does it need to be reinstated frequently? Or only if the topic comes up? Say if they ask "so who are your cousins mummy?" Etc. Thanks again I feel so much better. Already xxx
  11. Hi all I'm new here and looking for some help and advice please. My husband and I have been together for 13 years. Married since 2014. We are first cousins once removed (he is my father's cousin) and have 3 beautiful very healthy very intelligent children all under the age of 6 thanks to genetic councelling advice we took. We knew our situation was going to be tough and at the begging it was. But since our children came along it's bought the family closer together and all was going well. Our close friends know of our situation and all haven't even questioned it as they've known since the beginning. Then my husband and I started to have marriage troubles and weve been through 2 years of hard times. There's been a lot of awful name calling on his part and I've lost some love for him because of it. He left me for 3 weeks about a month and a half ago and since then my anxiety has been through the roof. He has come home and apologised profusely and is definitely a different person. But now I'm questioning my decisions same my anxiety is eating away at me. I'm anxious about our situation in terms of being related and I can't get it off my mind. I'm fearing for my children, I'm fearing what other people are thinking. But mostly I'm making myself almost ill about the fact we are related. Could anyone offer me advise please on how to deal with this situation. Is this normal to feel like this? Why have I never felt like this before and why is the anxiety about it now so bad. We live in the UK. Just need some help and guidance please. Thankyou all so much xx
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