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Everything posted by CherishHer

  1. To all those who sadly lost the battle due to family. I want you to know that you’re not alone and that there are others who are are as devastated as you. My cousin and I broke up after 8 years of being inseparable and the pain that comes with it is something I don’t wish to anyone.
  2. How I wish our relationship would’ve turned out like yours. I’m very happy for you.
  3. I know for sure she still loves me as much as i do. My mom knows but it turns out the family already has a tragic history with situations like this and she doesn’t want us to go through the same pain that she went through.
  4. If it works out for you enjoy every single moment with that person because it’s extremely painful when you lose them.
  5. Just last week and this is the first time that this happens.
  6. Yes she is worth fighting for and Our views in life is what brought us together in the first place. She does want a normal family but only because she’s convinced that we can never have that together without hurting others. I’ve tried to convince her that we can have a future but she is so stubborn. She says that we can still go out but with absolutely no touching. She still wants my company but that’s not same as holding each other like we used to. It kills me that she says it like it doesn’t hurt her at all. When I tell her that I love her she only says I know and doesn’t say it back anymore. She does have a sensitive character and i believe that’s why she took this decision. It’s like they knew who to go after. Thats is also why I will take everything for both of us. I think if I let more time go by she will get to the point where even with support from my mom she’ll still stand by her decision. I mean it does feel a little one sided because it will be my mom not hers. I’m afraid that my mom will side with her and crush all my hopes. Or worse my mom freaks out and goes after her and she keeps her word and disappears for insisting on saving this. The jealousy card won’t work because trust in each other kept jealousy away. She’ll just say that there’s nothing that she can do about it. She’s well aware of what my intentions are.
  7. I can assure you that there’s no other guy because we’ve been inseparable all this time and if she had to go out with her other siblings she would always detail everything to me. In that part i can say that she was the definition of faithful. She does want a family some day as do I but she’s sure that we’re just lying to ourselves and that it can never happen because it’s not accepted. Pressure to be with someone is something that’s always around in this culture where they have kids at 17. We are actually the ones leading the change in the family by first achieving something before thinking of kids or marriage. We both want to buy a house before thinking of those things. Our family is catholic but we happen to be not that religious. I worked with my dad when i was 21. Right now we are both owners of a contracting company and money is not really a problem. Things have never been better for our business this year. She says that we can still achieve our goals together but as cousins. It hurts not being able to hold her or kiss her. She has put up a good fight against amorous contact as opposed to me. Without a doubt that I would take all the shots for both us but she’s afraid of being labeled as a whore or pig. I don’t know why in all the bad mouthing I’ve been seen as a victim when I was actually the one who made the move in the first place. My plan and sadly last chance to get her back is for me to break it to my mom. As I said, she experienced a similar situation and every time I ask her why she never has any contact with her cousins she says that loves them but would rather keep her distance to avoid their judgment. My advantage is that my parents have never told us how it all went down even though the pieces to the puzzle have been put together. By asking her to tell me their story would only make her open her heart and understand us. If it all goes well my next step is to make up on excuse to take my mom to run an errand somewhere far so she can tell her that she knows about us and that we don’t have to hide it from her anymore.
  8. That’s exactly what I think. How can this happen if everything was fine between us? And I don’t doubt her love for one bit So there must be another reason. I keep thinking blackmail from someone but she won’t tell me. I tell her that there’s no way of really knowing who will support us unless we confess to everyone but she’s against it. I guess because someting like this already happened in the family that ended up tearing it apart and doing it again would probably end it for good.
  9. Our family is actually Mexican and we live in LA. I was born here but she was brought here when she was 14. Over the years rumors have been passed around about our relationship by family friends and word got to our mothers and we were confronted by them. The first time that happened she tried to end it but i convinced her that we would get through it together and we ended up denying everything. This happened a couple of times over the years. Last week on Tuesday a close family friend that also happens to be our employee asked her if the rumors were true. He did this unbeknownst to me. He said that it wasn’t his business if they true or not, but our family didn’t deserve to be broken again because of our stupidity. She was serious throughout the entire week but I only brushed it off as work stress. Saturday came and very early in the morning she picked me up because we were planning a surprise party for mother’s day. She drove for about a mile and that’s when she ended everything. She said that she couldn’t bear with so much guilt of having to always lie to our family and that there was no turning back. That she didn’t want to feel responsible for breaking apart our family because she loves them too much as well. She would rather keep everyone together than end up alone without them. She assumes that none of them will support us. I just don’t get why she had to do this if every time there was a problem like this we faced it together. We’ve always been close to each other’s mom. I guess that’s what fuels her guilt more. But while my mom has always been more open to unusual situations because of how her life turned out, my aunt always worries about what other people think or what they’ll say. And about the relationship with the other sister, well that’s also the problem. I assure you that there’s no fixing that because she’s always been determined to see us suffer by always spreading rumors and telling lies about everyone else. She’s one of the big factors in this situation. My mom and her will never be in good terms. We practically told each other I love you every single day of the past 8 years. We would always hold each other for support on rough times. We had arguments like normal couples do but always got through them just fine. It’s an unconditional love that kept us faithful to each other all these years. I’m 29 and she’s 32. When we started she was already so much more mature than me. She had already begun what is now our business while I was stuck working for my dad because i screwed up in school. I was a very shy guy, still am, but she brought me out of my shell and taught me so much about life. I’ve explained many times on these past days that it can’t end like this and that I’ll find a way to keep us together but she just won’t go back on her decision. She just tells me that everything is going to be fine. Family pressure and what people will think and say is what’s keeping us apart because the love is still there.
  10. No we’ve never tried telling anyone. I always tried convincing her to tell at least one person so we wouldn’t feel too much pressure but always refused. We run a business together so I have to see her everyday which only makes it harder. She is doing everything in order to move on while I’m still looking for a way to win her back. We both still love each very much. His ex is another sister of my Mom’s. What my girl doesn’t want is my mom and her mom end up hating each other like it happened with her other sister. Or my mom hating her because she’s always considered her like her daughter. She says that they don’t deserve it but do WE really deserve to live a lie the rest of our livesbecause of the fear of being judged by a social circle that doesn’t understand. Especially since here in California it’s completely legal for is to be together.
  11. My cousin just ended our 8 year relationship because she’s afraid that the family will break apart. It was very painful for both us and we cried like never before. We were together in secret all this time but rumor spreading of our relationship made her realize that she could no longer bear the guilt of having to lie to everyone. I’ve tried everything I can to get her to come back to me but she says there’s no turning back. She says that no one will accept us no matter what explanation we give to them. She even threatened with leaving everything behind and starting out from the ground up somewhere where I won’t find her. I’ve hardly eaten anything or gotten any sleep since then. My last hope is convincing someone important in our family that what we have is true love and letting her know not to worry about what the family will say. So here’s the tricky part. The only person that could probably understand what we have is my mother. She and my father got together while my father was still with her sister and they’ve been together for 33 years now. The family took a nasty split when that happened with mostly everyone including her only brother siding with her older sister. Should I tell her about our feelings? Was that relationship taboo enough for them to understand? Or will it backfire and end up losing her love completely for still insisting. After all, my mother already suspected that there was something going on between us.
  12. I’m currently going through the same pain that guys are. I’ve cried like never before because she’s everything to me. I tried to make her change her mind but only ended up getting more crushed. If anyone reads this please give me advice on how to deal with this.
  13. CherishHer

    We broke up

    Glad to see that I’m not alone. It’s an unbelievable feeling that hurts a lot.
  14. My cousin and I kept a relationship for 8 years. She was my first and only woman I’ve been with. In public we would act like the cousins that we are but in private we did everything a normal couple would do. She’s three years older than me and have always been faithful to each other all these years. We have a very traditional family that will never accept or understand what we feel for each other. Earlier this week she was confronted by a family friend in private and told her that he hoped the rumors about us weren’t true. He told her that the family doesn’t deserve this if it’s true and that we were not stupid enough to do such thing. We knew that a number of people were getting suspicious of us but together we worked through it with sadly by lying to everyone including our mothers. But this time she didn’t mention it and was just acting cold towards me by keeping her distance and ignoring me. This got me very upset and I acted the same not knowing what was going to happen. Just yesterday she told me that she can no longer bear with the guilt and that it was time to end everything. She perfers to keep the family from splitting than having to live with the guilt the rest of our lives. Heartbreak, anger, and regret all mixed into one is something I don’t wish for anyone to experience. Losing her is something I didn’t imagine would happen at least not like this. She never gave me a chance to discuss the situation and work something out like we always did. I didn’t get the chance to right my wrong from this week. I didn’t get to hold her like I always did or give her a kiss even though she told me in person. I guess that the shock of the situation didn’t let me do these things. I’ve spent the last day trying to convince her to think things through but she won’t reverse her decision. Reminding her of our happy moments won’t work even though it hurts her as much as It does me. She says there’s no turning back and that I can no longer tell her that I love her. If you’re reading this and you have the fortune to be with that forbidden person you love, cherish her/him and every second you spend with them.
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