JI’ve been in love with my older cousin my entire life. She’s smart, sweet, loving and oh so beautiful from her toes to her nose. I’m in my late 40’s and she’s in her early 50’s. She has a better body than most 19 year olds. I get nervous when I’m around her. It’s not that often since she’s in another state. I’m scared I’ll do something inappropriate like grab her hand like a boyfriend would, without thinking or try to kiss her. We were close when we were younger. We lived in the same city and spent a lot of time together. It didn’t help it was the 70s and she ALWAYS wore skimpy clothing. Hell shes in her 50s and still wears skimpy clothing. She used to make me dance with her all the time and I would always get hard. One time she visited my parents and I went over to hang out with her. We were all on the back patio chatting and she went inside for a few. Next thing I knew she came walking out in her red bikini and perfectly tanned skin. Mixed with the fact that red is my favorite color, her perfect body and the way I feel about her, quickly sent my head spinning. It was like a fantasy come true.
I’d love to take her out for drinks and talk to her about it, but she doesn’t drink. That way I could blame it on the booze if she’s too freaked out. We’d both know it’s a lie but maybe it’ll lessen the awkwardness. Plus I would need the liquid courage to bring it up. Does anyone know how I can find out how she feels without sending up any red flags? If that’s even possible.