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Vito91

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  1. Vito91

    Ok

    Not really, like she had some boyfriend back at the time and they where on and off and he dumped her and I guess I came a little insecure about this all thing and she dumped all of that he did to her on me and since I was young, naive i didnt really know what is happening like why she reacts this way when all i did was shared my feelings with her, got scared will lose her completely maybe she will even tell someone tried to talk to her about it she acted little rude , I thought she was mad at me ( still felt closeness as for a cousin). Then she started saying things like I don't care, go away , u are ugly (??? weird) when all i said was why won't u come with me to my parents house ( she always spent summer vacation with us). I just turned and left. I know childish form this perspective but was really hurt at the time she did see me couple of days later called me across the street waved at me but I just stood there staring. Like I don't know that men pride was hurt she choose someone else over me and a worse option . To say that boyfriend dumped her again couple of months later few days before her 18 birthday.
  2. Vito91

    Ok

    Sorry I was talking sh.t but the truth is that I hate that feeling of powerlines I have around her. Like she rejected me really bad and that should have been it. What makes me mad is that it took me couple of years to finally get her out of my head and then I see her for couple of minutes no conversation just weird handshake, after that she came to our house and by just hearing her voice, laugh all suppressed feelings hit me like a train. And constantly hearing from my family she did this done that. And I asked her before nicely not to visit again and she just ignored that. I know pathetic but I just can't run away from all of this mess. And where's the fries? is wrong with me to feel this way. Like years of depression anxiety hell to say and finally start to move forward and all it takes is 10-20 min to brake all that. I Don't feel I will ever really get over her but how do u live like that. Like by now I shouldn't even care at all I don't even know her anymore been 8 Fu.king years last time we really hang out or something
  3. Vito91

    Ok

    Really need to hurt her. Did a bad thing to me. But gave up every time because cared too much for her . Tried with that God forgive type of thing didn't work out. Still that anger in side only way of letting it go by doing the same thing to her she did to me. Break her heart bad
  4. Vito91

    Ok

    Well making her fall in love with me and then breaking her heart is my dream but unfortunately don't think it will ever happen. World so unfair can't even hurt her in any meaningful way. Probably best to slowly go with this cousin thing like start with small talk or something like that and see where it will take me. But have to be careful not to go into any direction that can make her suspicious which is a problem since I have a wired sense of humour and tend to joke about serious situations like this. And have a problem of not really caring will what i say insult or hurt anyone. So have to be fake as much as I can.
  5. Vito91

    Ok

    Yes but I think my main problem is that I put her on some sort of pedestal. Like something out of my reach or possibility. So why I need to get back on good terms with her as just cousins is to brake that illusion. Cause i tried distancing my self and to let time take its course but that only made things worse in many ways for me. And after that if us being just cousins works out great if not I think I can live with that. So how do I get her to believe me that my intentions are only family bonding and that there is no romantic background. Since she probably thinks that all i want and wanted was ...
  6. Vito91

    Ok

    Well my main problem is that the first time I admitted my feelings towards her I was very insecure about my self, crazy in love with her even admired her profoundly and most importantly totally afraid of her reaction and terrified about us being cousins and me having feelings for her. Like after admitting how I felt I asked her to block me before that I unfrended her 6-7 Times on Fb every time she would accept me back I even said I never wanted to see her again... I didn't know how to deal with my feelings towards her, was very jealous in fact all I wanted was to stop feeling anything for her. It hit me too hard too fast . No wonder she said no. Well I am different now More mature more confident and if I really wanted to I think I could win her heart. And although there are still some strong feelings left I am unsure do I want to be with her because I just don't feel it 100 %+ relationship takes lot of work, compromising etc. Not sure I want that with her. So I wanted to get back with her on good terms as cousin but that seems much harder because how can she trust me that are my only intentions.
  7. Vito91

    Ok

    You really on a roll here. What else ? Truth liberates. Lol I really have no idea she doesn't want to talk about it. So yes there are some questions I would like to ask but won't get an answer probably. So should I be like her happiness is most important and some positive thoughts or meditation. Maybe praying I heard that works out great Lol. Dumb jokes aside. I think she cares probably not as much I would like to but she does. And about me thinking about my self to be honest she would be the one getting the better part of any sort of relationship so in a way I am sacrificing my self so she could get something she probably never dreamt of being possible. But people are dumb always think if something comes easy It has lower value.
  8. Vito91

    Ok

    Well i am God's gift to humanity LOL. Maybe true I don't know can't be objective about myself.Really busting my head about it. I can't really go through all the details too much writing. But the point is I know she cares for me. So why all the drama making I mean once upon the time she really liked my don't give a fu.k attitude. Was she hurt by me acting like be my girl or I want nothing with u at the begining. Because that was my way before but I have to say that i really start caring for her on a deeper level and I would like for us to make cousins thing work. And yes my attitude probably the biggest problem here but very hard for me to keep it at leash.
  9. Vito91

    Ok

    First there was no psihical or verbal violence nor did I ever try to force her to be with me. I did make a mistake of asking second time after some time thinking that maybe considering taboo about such relationships she would need some time to process it. But the problem is that although after that I tried to act normally and let things go she still held some form of gruge on me or something and that made me back off completely. So for couple of years even on the street I wouldn't say hi or anything even when she would look at me and expect from me to say something but deep inside I felt that it is not right time and that if I say anything it would put me in position of only one to blame since her lack of empathy toward my feelings made the mess out of something that should have been simple I don't feel the same way but I want hold your feelings against you and we would still be ok. But I have noticed that although ugly and something I never thought I will do ignoring tactic made some results and I felt change in her behaviour towards me. Well now the question is how to approach her again ( not romantic way) in a way that will rebuild trust between us but not something where I need to apologize or similar thing cuz although good person there is something that makes my cousin very avengful and mean towards a person that she thinks wrong her in any way like she completely changes and she has a way to over dramatize situations. So my question is since I will go trough text what should I write her that will say I am sorry that things went this far but I will take only half of blame. It is maybe how to reason with unreasonable person
  10. Vito91

    Ok

    It is a long story but let say my feelings where not reciprocated. There was some fighting, ignoring from both sides and most importantly we haven't really ever discussed the issue in a calm and friendly matter mostly because my cousin would just turn and leave. Now I know the advice would be for me to let go and move on ( I tried) but the problem is she is still my cousin and I care for her as one but the tension and unresolved issues are creating some stress on our family. + to say I can't really cut her completely from my life. So I am looking for a way to approach her and make her open up and let go of all bad feelings she keeps inside so maybe we can move on as normal cousins.
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