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ReachIntoTheVoid

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ReachIntoTheVoid last won the day on March 23

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About ReachIntoTheVoid

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  1. I am atheist and so is my cousin and I can confirm, I think more religious people (especially Jews and Muslims) are accepting. Atheists and other secular types are not. Incest is seen as primitive and "just wrong". For me personally, I don't believe in regulating what 2 adult people do in the bedroom and with each other. Yes, the risk of disability in offspring is higher and should be considered. If genetic testing were considered/required in all states, I'd be okay with it as long as the state ponied up for it. Personally I will never procreate with my cousin but that's my choice. But lots of people choose to have kids with other risky conditions, like older age, essential medications, bad family history. Will we ban those too?
  2. If neither of you want children, then why not have him go get a vasectomy or you can go and get a tubal ligation? This would fulfill the sterile requirement and you wouldn't have to wait until you're 55.
  3. I say reach out to him and see what happens. It may work out, maybe not, but you need to let yourself explore this and if it doesn't work out, THEN you can finally move on. If it does, then you can either deal with the famoly fallout or keep it secret. My 1st cousin and I are in a relationship together and our family doesn't know. I don't care and nor does he. It's not any of their business.
  4. I have a relationship with my cousin and I am so happy with him. If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.
  5. I'm just asking cause in my family, our folks would freak and maybe disown us so we decided if we were going to cross this line, we wanted to go all the way and be committed to each other. But if you just want sex and you're committed to covering your tracks afterward, then I guess you don't need to worry about the what ifs for people finding out. Can you go somewhere semi cheap? Even just a coffee date. Can you invite back where you live?
  6. He may not come forward with his feelings due to the incest taboo as well as the age difference. There's just a lot to overcome there and it's scary. Do you two live close by? Why not ask him out on an outing? Make it happen. Off topic, but you said you're not looking for a romantic relationship, right?
  7. My cousin and I have a similar age difference to you and your cousin and we are a committed couple now. He sounds interested but when do you see him next in person? Seems like you could possibly tempt him if you propositioned him in person under the right circumstances.
  8. I am worried that I will somehow destroy my relationship with my parents. That they may look at me with disgust and may never get over it. You're right, the secrecy may get old, or maybe they will figure things out eventually. I'm not really sure what to do but I think for now I want to keep it secret and I know my cousin wants to as well.
  9. Serendipity, You're right, it's a lot to consider. I doubt my family would take it well. Not because they don't care, more just because of the stigma ("ick" factor) and some other family stuff I don't feel like going into but I can promise you, it's serious. I definitely worry about souring my family relationships. Friends not so much, it's family I worry about. Ambra, Of course I have doubt, and that's why I posted. I worry that somehow we will be found out. Not sure how, but somehow. Or maybe one day, they just stop buying our story. That's my doubt and my fear. We both have a fair bit to lose but I love him so much. Our love is unlike anything I've experienced before. I've never connected with someone so well. He is worth it and I am worth it to him in return. We are both fairly private people, yes. I don't really talk about my love life with friends or even family.
  10. It is true that there are a number of people that you can have a good relationship with. I'm fortunate that I never married and nor did my cousin so we can be together. We are 1st cosuins and living in US (it's legal in my state) but we are in secret due to concern over family blowup. I think it's true that if you fall in love with someone, cousin or not, and you are married, you need to cut contact and move on. All contact.
  11. ReachIntoTheVoid

    Confused

    It sounds like a BS reason to me because you've been together 2 years and she didn't have an issues before. My feeling is that there is another reason she wants to break it off but she's pinning it on the cousin issue.
  12. I met my cousin as an adult and we are together now. We are not married and have no kids so it's not complicated. It sounds like you were married when you fell in love with your cousin, right? I see that as the issue here because that's infidelity.
  13. I've had relationships that lasted years and I originally met the guy on a dating site. The reason why I prefer to meet online rather than a bar is because it's easier to filter out people online. For example, I don't want to be a step mom so I don't dare guys with young kids. During online dating you can find our right away from a profile if they work, I'd they have kids, what their interests are, deal breakers, if they smoke, etc. Finding out takes mere seconds and then you can decide to message them or just move on. I only messaged for a short time (a day, if that) and then met up the guy for coffee to see if there was chemistry. Much prefer filtering out guys before meeting up. I've never met someone at a bar. I'd hate to waste an hr talking to someone to find out delabreakers that I could have found out in 5 seconds from reading an online dating profile.
  14. Wow, I don't get the hate for dating sites. I used them in the past to meet several men that I had long term relationships with. I'd much rather meet a man through a dating site than randomly at a bar or something.
  15. I'm female. Even if our families were okay with it, we still don't want to get married. Neither of us like the institution of marriage and don't want the govt to get involved in our relationship and honestly, the idea of having a wedding makes me shudder. It's just something I've never wanted. To note, where we would be living is not a common law state so just living together does not make us married in the eyes of the law. We are hoping to live together but claim separate bedrooms/bathrooms and tell our families that he's just renting with me (he has lived with other family members in the past so this isn't unheard of). He doesn't make a whole lot and I could claim that while I'm helping him out with cheap rent, his paying rent would be helping me to save for a downpayment on a house someday. Very reasonable and responsible, right? Thus, not living together for romantic purposes but for practical ones, just having a relative for a roommate. What do you think?
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