Hi, Everyone. My story is going to come out slowly at first. I am experiencing muxh pain and greif because I have lost so many people and things in such a short time.
I fell in love with my cousin when I was in my 30's. She was about 31 and I was around 34. It wasn't until 10 years later that I told her how I felt. We dated for about 20 years and planned on getting married. We live in Tennessee so there are no laws providing it. We didn't care what our families thought. We professed our love openly and posted about our plans to marry on Facebook.
However, there were some problems. She suffered from Depression, PTSD, Addiction, and she was a thief and a pathological liar. We talked about all of it and she agreed to get help. But She never really did. She was using me for a place to stay, medicine, and sex. I don't think she loved me. I believe she is a sociopath because of never showing any remorse or shame or guilt for doing things to me and others that are hurtful and harmful.
Finally, I had to let her go. But knowing the details of her situation I believe I could have saved her if I had of been more understanding of her position and what she really needed to recover.
I have NEVER in my entire life had a bond with someone like I did with her. Despite her issues, Its Like we were 2 pieces of a 2 piece puzzle. We fit together like a glove and moved in sync when we made love. I have Never loved anyone or anything more than I Love her. And I'm afraid she is going to die. She just had a stoke. But more than the concern for her physical life there's the concern for her spiritual life, Everlasting lights. Nevertheless, I am having great difficulty dealing with the pain of letting her go. And now that I want her back she is pulling away from me. I'm afraid she will die. I am... I die if I'm with her and I die if I'm not. I Love & Miss her spoo much. I just want to talk to her and hold her and make sure she is ok.