I am in a relationship with my 1st cousin once removed, My mum is his 1st cousin. We are very much in love and happy. This was not planned and has a been a big surprise to both of us, although he has always been my perfect guy. We hardly saw each other and were not close with his side of the family. We are in our 40’s both with children. He is going through a divorce with his narcissistic ex wife (who left him for another man and living with that man) and has two grown up children, 23 and 20. Both live away from home. We have been together a year.
His two adult children gave the ultimatum of “We will never speak to you again if you carry on with this relationship”, “you will never meet the grandchildren” Initially he said fine and went three days no contact but it didn’t last. Then he finished it with me for five days which didn’t last and we decided to carry on in secret.
All the rest of our family and friends have no problem including my 14 and 19 yr old. They are happy we have found each other and wish us all the best. We have an amazing life planned together.
Unfortunately the two most important people in my partners life hate the idea. Call it embarrassing, incest, totally wrong and sick. It seems to me they only want him to be happy on their terms and also their heavily influential narc mother, who disowned her own father because he met and married a woman she didn’t like (never spoke to him again)
we are curious as to other people’s experiences with their adult children. What happened? Did they change their minds? How do we do this? Will it calm down after the divorce? When did you tell them? How long did the threats of disowning last? Help. Thank you ?