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Posts posted by Rob780

  1. I havent really got a timeline. Like I say I dont want to rush things and I'll still be here for her no matter what happens. I just need to know whether I'm chasing a lost cause or not that's all.

    I dont think she will ever sort her head out cause shes the type of girl that holds everything in and tries to do it all alone, until the moment she can't hold it in any more. 

    I think for me right now my main concern is making sure she doesn't let her ex control her life still. If I can help with this and show her that hes not her boss anymore then it'll be a start. Any kind of relationship etc can wait I'm in no rush for that. But I can only help the girl if she let's me, so we shall see I suppose. 


  2. The baggage's etc dont bother me one bit. I've had just as a bad past as her, so I know where shes coming from. I can deal with baggages without a problem.

    She definitely doesnt want to be with her ex anymore i know that for a fact, so that's not a problem. It's just him trying to stop her from moving on even though he already has! He doesnt bother me cause I can deal with him if it comes to it.

    I guess your right though ? shes going to her dads tomorrow for a couple of days, I guess we will see what happens after. I'll just take each day as it comes now. But I've took your advise and I only message her when she messages me now. If also told her that if she wants to talk she knows where I am but I'm not going to keep chasing and that theres only so long I'll wait. 

    I guess time will tell now ?‍♂️


  3. Hi ambra 

    She came to mine last night and we finally was able to have a chat. Her biggest worry is getting hurt because that's all her ex ever did was hurt her. She says she needs to sort her head out and have a but of space. Which I understand and completely agree with. 

    The thing she doewnt realise is she keeps making all these promises but doesnt stick to them and let's me down.

    I've told her to have the space, sort her head out and get back to me when shes decided what she wants. But I ain't waiting around forever as it hurts me just as much! 

    I am not trying to rush her as we both have had bad pasts but right now it just seems like shes playing games and that's not something I do. Will give it a couple of weeks or month and go from there. Any longer and I'm done as it hurts too much.


  4. Also to add I've told her today that we need to talk in person. I'm just going to tell her straight that I need to know where I stand we are either seeing how things go or we are just friends. I dont want to lose her altogether.

    But she just keeps telling me to tell her what I want to say via text. I dont believe that's fair on either of us though as text can be misinterpreted. Because I refuse to say via text she now thinks I'm playing games. 

    Am I wrong for wanting to speak in person? Or am I right? 

  5. Hi pooch 

    I understand what your saying. Yes in 1 sense I enjoyed being single and just being me for the 1st time since I was 16. But at the same time when my cousin came along we never planned any of this or even wanted it, it just happened. I mean she knows how to cheer me up when I'm in a mood, she knows my strengths and weaknesses just from a short time with each other. She literally makes me smile for no reason. 

    I've never had this feeling before and I been in some relationships (longest 8years) she literally gives me butterflies just by walking in the room or smiling.

    I care about her a lot and at the least I want to make sure her ex doesnt give her anymore crap! I just want her to be happy that's all.

    All I want is for her to talk to me, tell me what's wrong so I can help. She says she needs space to sort her head out etc, but when I give her that space she's then messaging me or ringing me because I'm not talking. 

    Our family defo isn't the issue as I've spoke to them today and they all know something is going off but are waiting for us to tell them. I replied "what would u think if we were?" And they all said "we're happy as long as you 2 are happy and dont hurt each other" 

    I want them to tell her that so she realises that they are happy for her cause then it might stop her worrying about what people will think.

    Like I say I dont want to rush things I just want to take each day as it comes and see what happens.


  6. Her ex is/was a bully. And he believes he can still control her! Everytime I speak to her about it she says he doesnt get a say anymore and she doesnt care what he thinks anymore etc. But the other night I was at hers and she got a text of him asking who the new bloke is shes seeing. And then started calling her a slag and hoe.. 

    Shes afraid that he'll go round telling everyone and that people will give her a lot of crap for us being together. Everything was fine and great up until that text of him then all of a sudden she started going distant and cancelled coming to mine even though she knew I turned down extra shift at work so I could spend some time with her. 

    Whenever I ask her to talk to me, tell me what's wrong and let's sort it together she just closes up and constantly says she needs space her head is all over the place. Then i give her space and dont message her and then she starts messaging me asking what's wrong with me. I'm great at giving advice to friends in relationships but dont have a clue for myself.

    I want to be with this girl but want to take things slow until we are both ready as we both have had bad pasts. We enjoy each others company and constantly make each other laugh and smile. Surely that's what should matter? but at the same time I dont want to sit around feeling like I dont know where I stand.

    I was happy being single after coming out of a long relationship but then she just came out of nowhere and changed everything. Made me feel a happy that I've never felt before, my heart races when I'm with her. I feel safe and secure when we cuddle. I just dont know what to do ? I want to be with her but at the same time want her to actually tell me what she wants and what shes worried about so much so I can help.

    I'm going to see her mother tomorrow so I will see if her mother starts asking questions. 


  7. Hi

    1st of all how old is your cousin?

    Where are you from?

    Is she your 1st, 2nd or 3rd cousin etc.. cant give too many answer to your questions without the relevant information.

    But on the basis that she is also over 18 my advice would be to sit down and speak to her, tell her about your feelings and ask how she feels. Atleast that way u wont have to potentially wait for nothing or move on and miss the chance of what you wanted.

    But please for the love of God speak to her respectfully, take her for a coffee or food or something. Dont just text or ring her, do it face to face.


    • Like 1
  8. Hi nat

    I've told her about this site already. She understands and agrees that's theres nothing wrong with it and that it's perfectly legal, but she's worried that friends and family may hate her or look at her differently. 

    I just dont know what to do, we never planned for this is just happened and now we not talking as we were, I'm starting to realise I've fallen for her more than I thought.

    I know my parents and grand parents will be happy for me. I also believe her parents would be as well as they constantly drop hints to her and asking 'are you and rob going out' but they havent once tried to stop her or warn her away from me. I just want her to sit down with her parents and ask them hypothetically so she can see what I believe the answer will be and that shes worrying for nothing.

    It's hard cause her ex bf wants her back and he's trying to cause holy crapoly! for her which doesnt make it easy. But that's where I want to be able to help her and stop her from worrying.



  9. Hi all..

    I've been sat for an hour reading all posts and stories etc and it's made me want to ask for help and advice..

    I'm seeing my 3rd cousin. It all started as she split up with her bf and I wanted to be there for her to help her and make sure shes happy. But then eventually the feelings came for both of us and we started seeing each other nearly everyday. It was great and I've never felt so happy. I mean she just walks in and I instantly cant stop smiling! Everything she does makes me smile. From the way she talks to the ways she looks and the way she smiles with her dimples, most importantly the way she is and who she is. 

    But I've recently started working a lot due to it being high season where I am,  so we dont get to see each other as much. We both still made the effort and the time to see each other as and when we could though. But now all of a sudden shes started backing of and worrying about people finding out that were cousins and what crap we may or may not get.

    I've told her I ain't bothered as long as she is happy but that doesnt change anything. All I care about is the things family and close friends will say but her parents and mine no something is happening as they keep dropping hints waiting for us to admit it. But they havent once warned us off or tried to stop it etc. Which leads me to believe they wont be bothered about it. 

    Were from the UK shes 20 and I'm 28.. 

    Any help would be great. I just want to show her that we dont know what will happen in the future until we get there. It could be good it could be bad or it could be great. (Peoples reactions)

    What can I do? 



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