This could be long, thanks for reading. I'm (male) currently 22 and my cousin (female) is 19. Everything started when I was in my teenage years. My family and my 2nd cousin’s family were very close during our childhood. We always went to vacations together and we visit each other almost every week. I was usually spending time with her brother, who is at the same age as me, rather than her when we were little. Her brother and I are also in the same class when we were in the middle school. When I was 15, I started to spend more time with her, and I really enjoyed it. At that time, when we were in summer vacation, while we were walking at night with her and her friend, her friend told us that "You two love each other, right?". My cousin replied "of course not" with a shy voice and I didn't say anything and only smiled. Then I left them to their houses and went to my house to sleep. However, I couldn't able to sleep that night as all I was thinking were the words of her friend. I thought to myself that the idea was wrong, but I couldn't get rid of the thoughts of being in love with my cousin. One year have passed and my love for her got bigger. I also learned that her mother and her father were also their second cousins, which relieved my concerns about my thoughts on the topic. That year, my family and her family went on a cruise around Italy. I spent much more time with her during the vacation and all I could think was her at that time. Even seeing her was making me excited and happy. Again, one year have passed. I was 17 and going to start my senior year at high school. She was also going to start the same high school as me as a freshman. I also need to study for my university entrance exam, which is very important in our country. So, I thought that I need get rid of this burden from my chest to ace the exam with no worries in mind, since all I could think was her. I told her how I feel, how only seeing her makes me happy, during the summer holiday before the school started. Unfortunately, she told me that "I like you as a person and I like spending time with you, but please don't bring up this topic again. I don't want any of my relatives to hear about this.". I was heartbroken and cried all night long. I couldn't even breathe easily. I was feeling like crap and I couldn't get rid of this feeling until the school starts. After being rejected, I decided to study like a madman to got into a prestigious university so that she can regret rejecting me. Well, our families met with each other from time to time again that year, but it wasn't as frequent as before. I also didn't talk with her too much because I didn't know what to say. I got into a prestigious university and graduated from it this summer. During my time in college, I didn't spend too much time with my friends and didn't socialize much to get high grades. Our families met again once or twice each year during these four years. I also didn't text her. I was really good at Physics and she wanted me to study her for her exams at her school. During our study sessions, the ice between us melted and we could talk like before my confession. Also, when our eyes met, she smiled at me warmly, but I don't know about her real feelings. I buried my feelings about her and tried not to think about it during those four years. This summer, my father invited my cousin’s family to stay with us in our house near the seaside for vacation. They used to have their own house in this vacation spot near our house, but they sold it because of their debt. They also didn't go to any vacation together, as a family, for 5 years also due to their debt. Currently, they are staying in our house for two weeks and my feelings for her have returned. We spent a lot of time together this summer and I can't stop thinking about her. I think I really love her, but I don't know what to do. Next year, I'm thinking about pursuing my master's degree in the US and I don't know if I will return to my home country again. I'm thinking about confessing to her again before leaving the country just to relive my burden. What should I do? Thanks for your advice.