I'm fairly new to this forum. I've needed help trying to seek advice on this because its a bit embarrassing to try and talk to peers.
2015 I was out one night with my sisters and we were sitting talking with a group of guys and I noticed one of their friends. We were exchanging looks so my friend got his number for me. It didn't really go anywhere, but fast forward to 2017 messaged me on Facebook then that's when we began really conversing. He had a legal commitment at the time so we could only see each other on weekends. One weekend during Graduation season for highschool students (We are not in highschool. I had friends Graduating) he came down and we all went out. As we were talking (same group of guys) it came about that a few were related to me, but I had alcohol in my system so it didn't really dawn on me that he could've been as well. The next time I talked with him I brought up that we should find out if there is relation. He got really defensive and asked where I got that info from (even though I had never asked in the first place, I was just speaking in regards to the info I found out at the bar). I told him nowhere and that I just wanted to be sure. We never discussed it again, and began to grow closer, until one day my mother happened to come to my house and he was there. She asked who his people were and he mentioned a last name that my mother immediately recognized but its my Paternal side of the family. She basically let us know that we're related. (My great grandmother and one if his great grandparents were siblings) We are in very close proximity in regards to cities we lived in and i was literally always with my Great grandmother as a child. I adored her, but i just have no recollection of him even though his grandmother is my great grand's niece.
We were never physically involved but I was still so heartbroken. I really don't know what to do. He subliminally posted on Snapchat a few months later that read
"There is this beautiful red girl I want, but our history won't let us."
My sister said she saw him one night back in June and he asked about me. I saw him last weekend after not seeing or talking to him for months but we went back to the first time ever seeing other. No words, just exchanging looks.
I'm not sure what to do. I've broken down in tears from this because I have no one to talk to about it. I don't know if we fell in love or just feel a deeper connection because of relation. I am also African American and that's extremely taboo for my race. If anyone has any advice or need more information on our history please message me or reply to this board. I would appreciate any advice right now ❤