I guess I’m here kinda for advice but a little bit to just get my issues off my chest. I’ve confided in a few friends and their reactions vary a great deal.
My mom was adopted and at the weekend we went to meet some extended biological family that we hadn’t met before. Right from the get go I instantaneously clicked with my second cousin, we had instant chemistry, we have similar personalities and likes/dislikes/moral values. We laughed a lot, at times I felt like just reaching out and grabbing his hand. I didn’t want to say goodbye and when we did I gave him the biggest hug.
I’d already added him on Facebook so we can keep in touch as he’s nearly an hour away on public transport. We’ve spoken a lot since and have touched on how we feel. I won’t go into details of the messages, but he’s said he thinks we would get on in other ways (besides friends) and if only we weren’t related. From what he said, he feels the same about me if not even more strongly. However he feels that second cousins are still cousins and therefore he’s not comfortable with it. I’ve respected this and want to remain friends with him at least. I know the moral side comes into play and people feel differently about these kinds of relationships, I know I shouldn’t want to change how he feels. But I feel so strongly about him. I’m in my early thirties and have been through relationships that I’ve wanted desperately to work, I’ve wanted the spark there, and it hasn’t happened. I don’t want to just disregard how we feel about each other because I know it’s rare to find. He’s in his late twenties. I want to shake his shoulders and tell him that feelings like this don’t come around very often. I wasn’t sure if his feelings of being second cousins were because it’s a new ideology to him and something to wrap our heads around or whether there is no wiggle room. I don’t want to make him withdraw from our friendship by talking about it again, at least not too soon.
Do I just walk away and remain friends with him? I guess that’s the logical thing, but my emotions are all caught up in this at the moment.
Thanks in advance for any advice.