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  1. It is sad but true, sometimes we end up loving the wrong person. I never in my life had imagined that his intentions towards me were so wrong, for 15 years I kept lying to myself that he loved me. I was broken already due to past relationship, but now I question the whole "love" thing lol. Never thought that he would back stab me or play dirty mind games with me, well he did. I hope he is happy after causing so much damage.
  2. Maybe and maybe not. Don't let your emotions trick you. Until now, I was in a dilemma that my cousin loved me. For the first time I shared my feelings with a closed family member and it helped me clear out many misconceptions I had in my mind. 1. I thought my cousin loved me since he visits this website and the way we interact - No he does not, he is in love with someone else even though he gave me mixed signals. 2. I thought he respects me - wrong, he always make fun of me and even called me worthless due to a failed career. 3. Just because they like talking to you, it makes them feel good, please don't get your Hope's too high. 4. If anything goes wrong, please don't blame your situation or circumstances because people who truly respect you and honour your relationship they will always be with you through thick or thin. Today I shared my feelings and I was open about them to a family member and the things that she revealed about how he makes fun of me and how he respects his current gf, that made many things clear. If he ever really loved me, he would not have left me in the first place and second knowing how much I struggled and still struggling to get my life together, he wouldn't have made fun of me. My relatives disrespect me and people who call me names is all coz of him. If he disrespects me so much and thinks so bad about me and make fun of me, then other people will definitely follow his lead. All I learned from this 15 years of experience is that love is not what he did or any other person did. Just have patience and their actions will show u whether they love you or they just used you.
  3. Correct! I wish someone had told me this long time ago. My cousin ghosted me twice, in the mean time he was having fun and blamed me at the end lol. Now, I know that he never loved me and never will because love is not what he has been doing all these years. Its all about himself and his family, I mean after kissing and almost kissy-faceing if he calls himself my brother then I have not seen a narcissist like him in my life. Anything he says is fine, anything he does is fine, but when I moved on after getting dumped by him then I was a cheater. Maybe he thinks he is doing me a some kind of favor by being with someone else and calls it a sacrifice, well if that makes him sleep well at night and justify his actions or narcissistic behavior then that's not my problem. I never asked for a sacrifice, I suffered the most. Its true till now I was in touch with our relatives or his family, because there was a hope but as I realize that he never really loved me, I have decided to cut off all relatives from my life just to be happy. I know I can never be happy, knowing he is with someone else and if I still stick around. Now, I don't even care whether he still thinks I cheated on him, I do not owe an explanation to him or anyone. If calling me a cheater and by throwing under the bus makes him sleep well at night then good for him. But, for sure whatever it is the way he treated me all these years is not love. I really don't want his or anyone's fake concern saying 'hope you find someone who loves you' because if it is meant to be it will happen and I will not have to cry or run after that person. Many people claim that they are in love but don't even understand the value of it. Most people are fake and do not know how to truly respect relationships.
  4. Leathat, Don't think too much, don't rely on people for happiness. Reflect on your and her situation with a cool mind, give yourself some time to think. Sometimes people get scared of obsessive behavior, it gives off very negative energy. You need to understand one thing, those who genuinely care for you will never leave your side and those who don't will never think good for you even if you try hard to please them. Are you worried about everyone leaving you alone, be mentally strong and know that you don't need others to be happy? Maybe you should learn to put yourself above everyone else. Don't be so weak and don't let people to easily manipulate you. It is okay to be hated by people, friends or relatives. You cannot make everyone happy, love yourself and put yourself and your happiness above everyone else. It is okay to love someone who does not reciprocate your love equally. Acknowledge your feelings and never be ashamed of them, you know you love her and you own that, don't let her or anyone else have control over your emotions. No one is asking you to stop loving her, you can still love her and love yourself too. Give yourself some time, don't make permanent choice based on temporary feelings. Sometimes hurt and betrayal is all in our head, we don't know the other side of the story. We see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe but, in reality it does not exist (betrayal, cheating, how people perceive you and/or negative emotions or feelings about your image). Face her, acknowledge your feelings and don't be ashamed of yourself. You can't change how you feel or your emotions for her. Love her at a distance :) but, live your life at the same time. I hate it when people cannot communicate properly, instead of talking about their problems or issues people choose to ignore or run away from each other. I don't know your cousin's story, maybe she had many bf's. But, from my own experience all I can tell you is that when I broke-up with my ex, I also blamed my cousin for my failed relationship. When we are in a relationship we become needy and would do or believe anything because of the fear of being alone. In my case there were many reasons I did not approach my cousin such as; guilty feeling, feeling of being not good enough, and the most important for me was that I felt like its not fair to go back to him because I had my chance of being with someone else and he also deserves to be happy in his life. So, you don't know what is wrong with her and you can't understand her emotions. When emotions are not in control, people do not know what they are doing their common sense is shut down. Stay strong, I know the feeling of being left out is not so good. It hurts but, you can't force her to be with you. Don't go to family gatherings and disconnect completely that will help. It should be all or none situation, it is not easy have feelings for her and hangout with her friends or family. No one has time to care about you or your feelings, so stop entertaining your friends or cousins. Take care of yourself, I hope you two can talk someday and figure out what you two really want.
  5. All I care about is my parents and at this stage, they have given up on me and accepted that I have feelings for my cousin. Initially, the opinion of my relatives or friends used to bother me a lot but, I realized I do not even talk to most of them everyday and they don't know what is going on in my life, never even bothered to ask me if I needed some kind of help or emotional support ever. Now, I do not even care how they feel about me or my feelings or my relationship. I know the importance of people who genuinely care for me and they do understand how I feel and why I make difficult life choices. But, for the most part majority of relatives get intimidated by me, which I really don't care about :). All I know is my decisions are my decisions, if I am not happy I will not keep people around me happy. So, it's better for me to do whatever I please and just reciprocate actions or attitudes of my friends or relatives. There are many people in my life who don't even like me and they are the ones who are most effected by my choice, usually they talk to me once a year or once in many years, so changing my decision for them or for their so called honor is not right (this is my belief). In reality, no one actually cares for you or have time to care for others but we ourselves have to keep ourselves happy. :D I am so happy for you, everything turned out so well for you. :)
  6. Yes at one point you give up on your relatives, I don't even care about what people think or say.
  7. Happy new year and lucky you 😊. Were there any complications during your pregnancy? Was there any opposition from family members? I know first cousin marriage is legal in Canada even if your religion does not permit.
  8. Some religion's allow first cousin marriages, whereas some don't. The question is "Will God judge us based on the differences between religions?"
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