It looks like you are well on the way on the road to recovery. As time goes on, her spell over you will wane and you'll begin to think clearly again.
You sound like a good person Leathat, one day you will find someone who appreciates and reciprocates those qualities. You need to learn to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. Coming off as obsessive, co-dependent, clingy etc. are not attractive traits, especially to a woman. Once you are able to live with yourself, your fear of being alone will disappear along with these negative traits.
These scars will fade, but they never really go away. Although I'm not near as angry and cynical as I used to be, it's still there. Something about these 'relationships' permanently changes you... you deal with such extreme emotional pain, that as a last act of self preservation your mind builds these barriers. You no longer feel sadness, or happiness, or anger.. your're just... numb. You're guard will always be up from now on... once bit, twice shy.
This is the final emotion in the healing process, when the dust settles all you'll feel towards her is pity. Her life is a train wreck, you just happened to be riding along...be glad you jumped off before she took you with her. You can't stop it, you can only observe as her life slowly deteriorates. People like that do not build you up, they take you down with them and anyone else along for the ride.
You can't change the past, but you can learn from it and change your future. Take this as a hard lesson learned. Use this traumatic experience as a catalyst for change..for the better.