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Jazzy

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About Jazzy

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  1. Hi, i know this isn't my post but um i kinda need so help. Ok so heres the story, when i was younger me, my aunty and first cousins used to come over all the time to our house, i was extremely close to them. They were like bestfriends to me. Even when i was only young, i ended up having a little kiddy crush on one of my cousins at first(i wont say their real names for privacy reasons but i'll just call them tyler and bradley). So at first, i had a small seen as "innocent crush" on my crush tyler, which was bradley my other cousins older brother. But sadly something bad happened in the family which i wont get into as its about my aunty and stuff and its not my place to say anything but what happened tore not only my family but also but friendship apart, with the whole family. My feelings for tyler during the years apart, faded but only for a short time.. I didnt see them for a good two years maybe even a bit longer then that. But at lot changed within just a short two years. I grew up alot, i was so much more mature. As when i was younger i was quite annoying and weird. So anyways one day, my mum tells me that she had a talk with my aunty and after two years away from my bestfriends (cousins), i could finally see them. At this point i was happy but extremely nervous bc i hadnt seen them both in a long time. I went from seeing them everyday to not having any contact whatsoever with them. So then a few days later, we arrived that their house. It was so arkward at first for a few days but when we actually talked and bonded... I noticed something different. I'd never liked bradley cousin or not, he just wasnt my type in general. Not that he was bad or anything but i was into those more tougher, rebel type boys, as most teenage girls were haha. And let me tell u something about my cousins, well first off tyler was definitely a rebel/bad boy type and bradley was NOT. he was that typical "nerdy" kinda sweet guy (not that theres anything with that, i am a nerd myself i guess i just dont outwardly look like one). Bradley got picked on for his glasses, got called four eyes which when i was younger i secretly thought was funny, but i didnt like the fact that he was bullied for it. Eventually i found it cute, and sweet haha. Anyways, me and bradley became super close, like SUPER close. We were inseparatable. I started slowly developing very very strong feelings for him. At this time tyler though so freaking HOT!, was kinda jerk.. He was a playboy and always had a new chick. My feelings for tyler became dislike very fast. He was mean to me and rude, i was attracted to bad boys not pricks. He was being a prick, nothing attractive about that. So anyways, i fell so deeply in love for the first time actually ever and with my cousin. But... There was a problem... 1: he had a gf.. 2: my family is religeous, never would of accepted it 3: at that time i was only 14 4: he didnt know and i wasnt 100% sure he felt the same way. I truly thought he did... But... I told him... And he didnt... Long story short, i fell for tyler again and he showed me a side of him id never seen before. I didnt wanna fall in love again but i did, and again my heart was broken. Its been years now... I havent spoken to bradley in years and well tyler and i... He ignores me and he has a girlfriend, whom he said he plans on spending his life with.. Bradley and his girlfriend broke up a long time ago though, so he is currently not in a relastionship. One thing that still puzzles me today is that i remember when he was with her, and me meeting her i realised so was almost my twin... She looked like me, only a but taller and maybe a bit skinner, sounds weird but same type of personality as well... Why would he date someone who was basically so much like me? I even have a recording of him saying he loves me, then when i ask him what he said, he denies it..? Now... Even still after all this time... I havent moved on fully from both of them. I am still deeply in love with tyler and as for bradley theres still a part of me that will probably love him forever(he was my first love after all). A piece of my heart no matter who i am with in the future or if i am with no one, a small piece of it will always belong to them my cousins, especially bradley (i still feel like i fell harder for bradley then i did tyler) I still have so many questions, yet no answers. I wanna know why would bradley say he loves me then denies it months later, i wanna know why. What do u think i should do? I cant get over them, i still think about them constantly... Pls help me
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