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Found 11 results

  1. Hello all, thanks for stopping by. First off, thanks for all the great advice, stories, and posts on here, and special thanks to the creators and admins. This has been bugging me for a while, and I was so glad to discover this place, I really felt welcomed and moved by some of these stories, but most of all, hopeful. I truthfully am a forum noob, and have never really posted anything on a public board before, much less this topic. The reason I started this topic is because most of the threads I came across seemed geared to very young people, and while other posts did offer some insight, I decided to try my luck here, hoping for a more custom tailored response, respectably. Straight to the goods then. I'm 'Andy' and soon to be 35, she's ‘Cindy’, in her 40s, and we are both single and 1st cousins. I have had a crush on her as far back as I can remember, our families were close when we were kids, and often spent weekends together. Because of our age gap at the time, her being a rebel teen who idolized Madonna and me with my Transformers and GI Joes, we were not very close. We hung out like average cousins, nothing special. Over the years she was always close to my thoughts, plus we stayed in touch on social media, but again noting special. Fast forward a little over two decades, during which we would occasionally see each other at large family gatherings, but no major contact beyond that. Next time, it was special, it felt different. Recently, for an outdoor family reunion, it just so happened that we were seated together and we practically spent the whole time chatting exclusively. I really love to make her laugh and I was doing just that, and so was she. Every now and then I'd get from her, what was probably a wholly innocent gesture, an arm touch and smile. I still refuse to read too much into this, this is uncharted waters and I know better than to treat it like the average crush. At one point during the party, a relative approached us and exclaimed to my cousin Cindy, "oh my, I thought this man was your boyfriend!" Our mutual relative was a little surprised when she realized it was me, but did not make a big deal or read too much into it. This made me back off, obviously my body language or a combination of ours both suggested we were a couple to anyone who did not know better. Cindy's reaction was amazing though, smiles and blush galore, she didn't even make an "Eww face" at the remark. Anyway, since then we have been texting occasionally, every other day, very short conversations because I know she is busy and a single mother. I remember one text she wrote, "I miss you." We exchange our problems and offer advice. On more than one occasion she mentioned how she just wants to be with a nice guy who accepts her, and how hard it is for her to find someone, I responded truthfully, that I'm pretty much in the same situation, looking for "Miss Right" and all that. We even spoke on the phone briefly, this is where it escalates a tiny bit. Here is where it gets good, but really scary for me. This Saturday we have a date, for lack of a better word, or more accurately dinner and a movie. Yup, I went for it and she said yes! Holy holy crap! What do I do? I kind of have the evening planned, dinner at a nice restaurant, but I'm hoping to sub the movie with something romantic, like somewhere with a nice view of the city. I really just want to talk with her and spend time alone, and gauge her feelings a bit more. Anyway, I am out of my element here. I'm hoping someone reading this has been in a similar position. I am totally patient and would rather something happen organically on her end, than me trying to force it and be selfish. I would love tips for our date though, I will be myself of course, but I’m wondering if there’s little things I could say or do to hint at my romantic interest in her. I'm kind of nervous and don't want to make a fool of myself. I have strong feelings for Cindy. She's amazing in terms of her fortitude, strength, and outlook on life. She is beautiful inside and out, she makes me laugh, and is always on my mind lately. A part of me believes we don't choose who we fall in love with, and it's not often a girl makes me feel this way. There's definitely some magic there, I just can't tell if its of the romantic kind or not. Any advice from people who have been in similar situations, and my age group would be preferred, but all thoughts are greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly in advance! Andy
  2. Im sorry if this is a long story. Throughout my childhood I always met my cousin every summer vacay and he was like a best friend. During our teens we lost contact then we started talking on facebook for a year and discovered that we had feelings for each other.That summer of that year we were both 18, we reunited in our homeland(we both live in diff countries) and we were both so happy and excited ,he would always message me and ask where I was so he would come see me. Even just talking to each other we were so happy and our convos would never end in family gatherings and eventually our families knew. Both of us are not religious because I was born and raised in canada and he was born and raised in france but our families in our country were, so they wouldnt let us be alone together or even talk. even though we both knew it was forbidden(no relationships before marriage), we still kissed and made out every time we had the chance and we were alone. Summer ended and he went back to france and i came back to canada, we promised we will keep in touch and that he will come to canada and we will get married, he talked about it to his father ( my uncle), that was the plan. When I came back to canada it was my first year in uni, i met guys and dated a few and i partied alot and eventually i broke up with him. He never gave up he would always try to call me , message me and tell me he would give me a second chance. I knew I loved him deep down and was the only guy i loved, my first kiss and everything but i was denying it and i was convinced he would never come and tht he cheated on me cause he was always telling me and sending me screen shot of girls that want him. He kept messaging me for two years to keep in touch and i never messaged him first he always did, but when he did it meant the world to me. Fast forward two years of being apart, we were both 20, he decided to get married and he did to a french girl. I heard from my mum not him. A part of me died when i heard the news because i thought somehow we will eventually end up together.During his marriage he would still message me telling me he still has feelings for me and asked me to never lose contact with him ,to never forget himm, and that he will visit canada (cuz he worked and has enough money saved) and that if i get married he doesnt want to hear it and he wished i was his wife but he would also tell me he is happy with his wife.fast forward 2 yer later, our grandmother passed away, me and him messaged each other and it helped us heal together then he started telling me that he misses me. I am happy for him that he is happy but now i have to look after myself, i still only want him and i havent even kissed or been with a guy for years cuz i only think of him.I decided to block him of all social media, i know it will hurt him but he moved on i didnt, i need to help myself now, is that selfish of me? i hate keeping in touch with him becaause he always starts talking about our past and at times he would get frustrated and tell me its my fault that we didnt work out and we would have been so happy together. i hate and i cant hear that thats why i blocked him. i hope he understands. its been 4 years since i saw him but i love him that as much as that first time and i always think about the maagical moments we had together, is it possible i will move on like he did? i feel like i want to explode because i cant talk to anyone about it
  3. Our story started roughly 2 years ago when my cousin confessed she had feelings for me. At the time she said this is wrong and we should not be doing this. But we continued developing our relationship anyway. We planned of our lives together after marriage, babies, places to visit, things to do and so on. We lived a happy life. Now after two years of constant back and forth of; this is wrong we should not be doing it and it’s ok let’s go ahead with it, she wants to end the relationship but isn’t doing it, just putting a halt to the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect and just wants to be friends. She says, “I should have been the adult in the room. I don’t want to continue doing wrong.” She feels that when we inform our family about our intentions we will end up creating a huge and permanent split in our family. We will be the reason for our family to break apart. People will hate us. Previously at the beginning of our relationship she had said that she doesn’t care about what other people think of her. When I brought this up she said well I do care now. I tried convincing her that I’ll deal with all the heat from the family, you can even say he is the one pushing for it I’m not that interested. I’ll be able to make the family come to terms with us. But she still says even if you convince the family I know it’s wrong and my mind will not be at ease. She says even if we get married I won’t be able to live a happy life because I’ll be disturbed about the fact that we are cousins and we shouldn’t be married. Also whenever she sees other cousins they remind her that we are doing wrong. She feels bad when she sees them. Sometimes she says that I look like her brother and that makes it difficult for her. The thing I don’t understand is that these are issues that were there during the first year of our relationship, why are they becoming unbearable now. She was able to put these thoughts aside then. Why can’t she now? I asked her do you want to end our relationship? Her reply was, “Yes, sometimes I want to end it. But sometimes I don’t. I don’t know.” I said why don’t you end it then. She said, “You’ve done nothing but loved me. And that’s why it’s difficult for me to end it. I’m thinking about our relationship in a realistic way and you think in a hopeful way. There is no way our family will allow us to be together.” I feel that if I can convince her that we are not doing anything wrong. We love each other and there’s nothing wrong about it, she might change her mind. The thing is I’ve tried everything I could to do that. But she doesn’t accept it. I’ve given her examples of cousin marriages happening for so many decades. Her response is that if people have been doing wrong that doesn’t mean we continue doing wrong. You may think she does not love me anymore and is trying to find excuses to end our relationship. That’s not how it is. She is a tough independent woman. She does not let other people’s opinions play any role in her decision making. She thinks for herself and sticks to her decisions however painful they may be. I know her very well. She still loves me. Just not enough to marry me.
  4. Hello, my name is J. I’m 19/Male and from the terrible state of Texas. This is my first time posting here and this post is definitely a rant but any guidance and support given is greatly appreciated. This is the story of me and A. i would like to disclaim to everyone here that despite A being a minor, me and A have not had any sexual relations and I am aware of the rules on the site and the laws of my state. It’s been 8 months since we’ve started this. She is 15 and I am 19 years old. We grew up together and despite us being each other’s first kid crush, we never thought much of each other until last June. That’s when everything changed. Another cousin and I were spending the week with A and her brother. We were friendly and although it was obvious we could both feel physical chemistry, we didn’t want to entertain those thoughts. We started talking throughout the week and me and A figured we connect perfectly. We would stay up late at night in the living room whispering to each other, always talking. We’d talk until we crashed every night near each other in adjacent couches until one night. One night, we got more personal. We both brought up our history of depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts and through that tragedy, I felt our hearts connect. This wasn’t just infatuation. I have loved and cared for her my entire life but at that moment we felt like our souls become one. She was on the verge of tears, and something in me reacted without my brain telling me. I grabbed her and I hugged her and I held her tight to comfort her. I expected her to eventually pull away but she didn’t. The hug eventually turned into a snuggle and we laid down in each other’s arms on that couch. We never wanted it to end so we forced ourselves to stay awake all night, cuddled in each other’s arms. I felt the need to kiss her (and so did she later in admission) but I refrained from doing so. Her mom woke her up that morning and scolded her for falling asleep with a boy. We began to text nonstop. In July I finally admitted my feelings to her and she reciprocated. The first week together felt weird and unsettling, mainly because we were concerned with us being related (it’s complicated but we’re slightly less than first cousins as we only share one grandparent but her grandparent I don’t share was the cousin of my grandmother. Yes, my family’s history from the early 1900s contained a lot of white trash). After some research, that feeling quickly went away and we began communicating through video chat online nonstop. This persisted until November. During that time, we fell in love and I fell for her. We may be young, but we’ve approached our relationship very in a very honest and mature manner that would make my own parents in their 30 year marriage jealous. We agree to be honest even if it hurts and we talk everything out before it can be manifested into resentment and our only ever fight occurred when she was suicidal. In recent months we’ve both worked together to carry each other out from our holes and all suicidal thoughts have subsided and we are incredibly happy together. Never have I ever met such a loving, patient, and understanding woman. I don’t believe in fate but I believe we were made for each other. The words I put on this screen cannot help you fathom how much I love and respect her. We are 100% compatible and it pains me what the situation has turned into. In late November I had a job housesitting for a week and I brought A and her brother. Her brother is one of my childhood best friends and I had placed more trust in him than I should have. Every time he turned his head or left the room, we would be affectionate to each other. We thought he caught us several times but he didn’t. He was totally oblivious but we didn’t know that. We agreed together it would be best to be open with him before he told anyone. We expected him to be more open about it but he reacted very negatively. We eventually talked him down and he seemed fine with it until the next day he gave an even worse reaction and gave us an ultimatum. Either we break up and never mention it, or he tell her parents the truth. I told him to go to hell at first. Eventually I lied and said we agreed to break up and never mention it again. All seemed well again until he told his parents later that week. Our daily video chats? Gone. Her allowed to have her door open? Gone. Despite this, we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened, that we intended to spend our lives together and that I would someday be the father of her children when the time was right. We made it through the parent’s initial shock and reaction. She was grounded for a week with limited use on electronics. Her parents also shamed her and called her sick. My parents were different. My dad is very non-confrontational and to this day, has never talked to me about it. However, my mother is the most understanding and loving woman I have ever met. She had friends who were cousins and the idea doesn’t particularly bother her. I confessed everything to her and in my lowest hour, she comforted me and brought me back up. She doesn’t necessarily support the match but only because my love for A is illegal in the state of Texas and even can land you in jail. (Seriously, to hell with Texas!) my mother just doesn’t want to see her son in jail. (Also the age of consent in Texas must be of 3 years difference in age or less and I’m 4 years older). Since this time, we sneak in texts together throughout the day and it turned into a mostly online relationship experience. We only grew stronger together. However, I wouldn’t be here if things didn’t go as planned. Her parents purposely keep her active and busy and along with constant paranoia, we have texted less and less. It’s not fair for her as her family is incredibly overbearing and restrictive on her life to make sure she has no time to text me while my family remained just as liberal with their concern as before they found out. Despite talking much less, our feelings toward each other haven’t changed but the past few weeks have hurt a lot. My natural insecurities from a past abusive relationship get the better of me sometimes and I need reassurance of our stability which in effect will scare her about our stability. It began to give her anxiety around me which didn’t help encourage her to try and text whenever she could along with her parents keeping her busy and constant paranoia. Last night, I could no longer bear to sit in silence as I was unsure what our relationship became. I texted her and confronted her about where we are right now. We communicated and now it’s established that technically we are still together but due to time constraints we have given each other time to let ourselves grow but assuring each other that we both have exclusive interest in each other and that this brake in our relationship is temporary and we will resume everything in time. I wholeheartedly believe A means what she says but this crippling thought in the back of my mind warns me that she may lose interest and there’s nothing I can do. The simple reality is that I am in love with this woman and this brake was only one sided because I still have the ability to talk to her whenever but she doesn’t. I love her and I’m more than willing to wait and do what it takes in steps to make this work. I have never felt so completed, so happy, and so fulfilled by the companionship of someone. She is truly my better half and even if somehow our relationship didn’t work and one of us moved on and had a family with someone else, I would never feel satisfied without her. There is no other room in my heart for anyone else. I love A and I plan on spending my life with her. Maybe we’re young and we haven’t fully found ourselves but I am confident we will grow together. TL;DR: Young couple, caught, time constraints have put us on hold, my separation anxiety sucks, and I’m willing to wait. I’d love to hear all of your thoughts and advice! Thank you so much for taking this much time to read my story and possibly give your two cents. It’s means so much to be able to express this to someone. I wish all of you luck! -J
  5. So 17 and i'm from New York. I went to Colombia for about 2 months to visit family that i haven't seen for years. I used to live in Colombia when I was younger but I moved to the United States when I was about 4. When we were children, my cousin Lucas and I were best friends... but that was 13 years ago and we haven't spoken since. Anyways, my first week in Colombia, I shared a room with my cousin. it was just a small room with two twin sized beds and we each slept in one. We had stayed up all night talking and playing games we remembered playing as kids. We then started talking about our memories together and he brought up one that i could never forget; The day i kissed him when we were kids. We both started laughing and we started playing thumb wrestling. I won and he then asked me if I remembered why I had kissed him when we were young. I said "no," and he told me "you got so excited about beating me at a thumb war that you just grabbed my face and kissed me,". I started blushing and I looked down at our hands that were still holding onto each other although the game was over. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it softly and he smiled. We realize it was already 4am and we each got into our beds but continued talking. I asked him if he was cold and he said yes, so I got out of my bed and walked over to his and put another blanket over him. He told me I was sweet and that I should crawl into his bed to warm him up. I laughed and about 5 minutes later, I took his suggestion and we were both laying underneath the 4 blankets on his bed. We just cuddled all night and talked until 7am when we heard our mothers walking around the house and I went back to my bed and we fell asleep.This was the start of it all. The following night we went star gazing and we kissed. We were inseparable throughout the rest of my trip. He made me feel so alive. one night our family went out for dinner and a show and i got pretty drunk and afterwards we went for a walk. We smoked a little bit and he made me feel so safe. he held my hand he made me feel so calm even though i'd normally feel paranoid while that intoxicated. I was so high but everything with him was so clear. I told him I loved him and he told me he felt the same way. I've never felt this way about anybody but him. I know that I am in love with him. Anyways, we were basically in a secret relationship for two months and we even had sex. It was both of our first time. I don't know what to do because I just left two days ago and I miss him so much. Im going back to Colombia in four months to visit again and my mother has been considering movie back there which I would be 100% on board with. I love it so much more there and I genuinely feel at home.It would also be so nice to live closer to Lucas. I really don't know what to do. We were both in relationships, but I broke up with my boyfriend (for unrelated reasons) before i got intimate with my cousin. My cousin is still with his girlfriend but he told me they aren't that serious and that it's temporary. We've decided to keep this all low-key for now because neither of us are sure about how serious we should let this get. Also our parents always joke about us being in love with each other because of how close we are and I honestly dont think they would be that surprised if they found out about our feelings for each other
  6. Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew. She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew. I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us. Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok? Idk where to even start
  7. So, here's the deal. I'm 22 & my girl cousin is 25 I believe. I've had a crush on this girl for a long time now. Only until we both gotten older that I started to notice she MIGHT like me as well but I'm not quite sure how to approach this. Also, we aren't so close to each other. Even though we see each other more than often. It's more of a small talk type thing with us. the very first moment I noticed she's into me was SUPER random. I was getting home one night around 11pm I'd say it was. I had just got out the shower & was preparing to eat my chocolate chip cookies I bought from Subway. While they warmed up in the microwave, out of nowhere here comes my sexy arse cousin & this other girl (sisters friend, she's sexy as well. Lol) coming in the kitchen. I thought nothing of that at first but then they both grabbed my arms & basically told me to choose one of them. (They were either very buzzed or drunk. Some family of mine were out in the backyard having a good time.) In that moment I seriously wanted to choose my cousin but I noticed my cousins mom looking into the kitchen so I had to settle with the other girl. Turns out my cousin got jealous (I think) & threw my cookies into the hot pot of soup!! (Why else would she do that??) Second time was actually BEFORE the first event took place. She told me she was leaving & to close the frontdoor for her. She was wearing a tight green sundress & oh my goodness did she look scrumptious. I couldn't help myself but to slap her butt as she walked out my door. She turned around & said to me "omg! Hahahaha". She said it in that tone when girls pretend to not like something but you know they really do. Third. Sometimes when we walk by each other in the hallway of my house. I touch her thighs. Whether it'd be a quick touch or a long touch. She doesn't seem bothered by it. & on those rare moments when we hug I place my hands on her lower back close to touching her butt but not quite & she doesn't seem bothered by that either. Fourth. She tends to stand in my sight of view whenever she's in the kitchen. My room is right by the kitchen & can see a little over there when the door is open. & it's always this one particular spot she stands at whenever my door is open so I don't that's just coincidence that she's standing there every time. Fifth. She got my number somehow one night & told me to open the back door for her cus I had just finished locking the house. I didn't bother asking how she got it, though. From my sister most likely but who knows for sure. Sixth. I can tell her feelings for me get revealed when she's been drinking. The way she looks at me & the way she speaks to the other females that are talking to me. She's always telling them "quit bothering him. You're probably annoying him." Then proceeds to give me a smile. Does anyone think it would be random to start texting her even though we don't talk like that at all?? I've been contemplating this situation for quite some time now & would like some advice!
  8. I know this is a long one just bare with me and please try to help I'm 21 yr old male and my cousin she's 19 yrs old (my mothers younger sister's daughter), my feelings towards her started when i was in university, she used to hang out in my house most of the time and we usually talk about random things back then, recently some time ago things started to get a little bit physical you know showing cleavage(most of the time), she touches me in playful ways,and if i touch her "accidentally" by her chest or butt she never says anything and behaves like nothing had happened (for example: once we all the cousins had a outing to celebrate one of them getting married after that the party was over and it was getting late most of the rids we came in already left there was only one car after we crammed inside there was no space left for her in the car and one of my cousins(female ,who knows something is going on between us) told her to sit on my lap, she refused at first after a minute or two she came in and sat on my lap half of her butt was on my stomach like she had no room to fit (but it was a decently spaced car with more room to spare) and she told not to touch her anywhere or laugh on the way, I wanted to tease her and laughed for a minute and she did not take it seriously and told me to stop , I wanted to annoy her more and placed my hand on her thigh she did not say anything i grabbed it tightly but no reaction she was quite and she started to move my hand because she thought someone might see and after that my place came I got out of the car and she gave me a look like it was not angry nor happy(hard to tell), this all happened on Christmas holidays and next day she talked to like nothing had happened and after that we did not get a chance to meet because of our work, 2 months ago i contacted her and we decided to meet in her house after i went there her mother was also there we talked and had lunch together after that her mother went to sleep, we both decided to watch a movie and i sat close to her she did not say anything as usual after a while we decided to talk about relationships, and after some time i decided to leave and i asked for a hug i don't know what came over me and i told that i love her she did not say anything as if she didn't hear it at all and before going i slapped her in the butt (just for a tease and to make her react) she told me that" we should be doing this you should not touch me", i replied that "we used to touch all the time" after a moment of silence she told "that was when we were younger but not now", i said okay fine and casually changed the topic that she can sometimes hangout in my house she said okay and will come after 10 days or so because she had some work and i left after that and later that evening i called her and casually asked what she was doing she told that she was hanging out with her friends and she will meet up later, BUT after that(4 days time ) she blocked me on all social media that we are connected to, i thought i did something bad and decided not to call or bother her and give her space to think, during this two long months i wanted to see her and talk to her but i decided to wait and 10 or 15 days ago i randomly downloaded a social media app and she was in it but i decided not to talk and 2 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too. i seriously don't know that to do and how to approach her again things are playing in my mind like what if she tells both our parents and relatives what had happened what if she hates me and is not going to talk to me again my birthday is coming up and i invited all my cousins but don't know how to talk to her and make her come to the event so i can have a proper conversation with her can some one give advice on what to do? please i really love her..
  9. Sorry for the long description but I need some advice. My maternal first cousin recently had a bad separation. His ex cheated on him and broke his trust. Although he told me he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore I think he hasn't moved on completely yet. The reason I say this because I've accidentally found her picture in his wallet. Anyway, so I met my cousin after 7 years. We had a thing 7 years back but that didn't last for some reason. Now, that I met him again the spark started to return. We both are deeply attracted to each other and sexual tension is massive. As we didn't want to be in a relationship for a reason we agreed to be fwb. I lost my virginity to him and the sex was freaking awesome. He just LOVED sex with me. The sex had always been passionate and hot. He's obsessed with me. He had always wanted to make love to me. He even told me I turn him on like he never thought was possible and to him I was irresistible. He even said he never felt this chemistry with anyone else. I had given him massive turn offs at times yet it didn't stop him from wanting me. Not to mention he genuinely cared a lot about me. He loved taking me out and spending time with me. Used to get offended if I didn't join him while eating. And felt twinge of jealousy if I talked to other guys. I ended the fwb relationship with him for a reason and told him. He was deeply hurt, I could see a certain pain in his eyes. He reluctantly agreed without wanting to know the reason. And from that day he has become aloof and distant. He still cares about me and talks to me but he's toned down. Is it how fwb supposed to feel when the relationship is over? Why is my cousin behaving like this? He's a very experienced man and compared to him I am a novice who can't even give a proper bj, what's so sexy about me that used to turn him on like crazy?
  10. on my previous topic i told what had happened between me any my cousin on short I'm 21 yr old male shes 19 yr old (my mothers younger sister's daughter) we had a spark between us for many years, we will always use physical contact to test our boundaries you know the usual accidental boob touch and butt squeeze/slapping , 2 months ago i visited her and we talked to a bit before leaving i asked for a hug and she hugged me the words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth there was a awkward silence for a moment, i panicked and wanted to do something to end the silence and suddenly slapped her butt(both sides), she told me not to touch her and i replied that if she didn't like it, she didn't answer that and again i asked that we used to touch each other all the time, she replied "that was when we were younger" (we used to do this kind of stuff on a monthly basis don't know what she meant by that) after that I wanted to change the topic and asked her to come to my house anytime she wanted,she replied "after 10 days i will because of work", after that on the same day i called her to see if she is still annoyed with me she talked normally, 4 days after that i found out she had blocked me on all social media, i thought she wanted time to process the things that happened and i gave her some space and time to time without wanting to disturbing her (its been 2 months since this happened),10 days ago i downloaded a random chat app and found she was in it, but i didn't want to disturb or annoy her further so i kept quite,4 days ago i found out that she also blocked me on that app too. what if she never wants to talk to me again? or she told her parents about what had happened? i really love her and I am sure that she has feelings for me as well.....I don't know what happened this time I really want to get back to her ,things between us are on and off most of the time but she always gets back but this time its taking too long I'm worried she might never want to be with me again additional information one of my older cousin (female) married her cousin (her father's older sister's son) if was months ago (our family circle accepts marriage's like this) that was the time when things started getting more serious between me and her but there is a problem our family circle accepts cross cousin relationships but sadly parallel cousin relationships are a taboo we never really talked about our relationship or marriage we only used to do some physical contact stuff to each other (a lot!), i think i scared her off by telling that i love her or it could be the butt slapping thing i really don't know i haven't tried calling her out of fear I'm arranging a get together with all the cousins and i really want her to come so i can talk with her (don't know how to invite her need any advice or help with on the invite plan) I'm hoping that being with all the other cousins will ease her and make her more comfortable to talk with me this is my plan so far (feel free to tell me if there is anything wrong with this idea or how to execute this plan) i really need all the help i can get, I don't want to lose her i know most of you guys went through some kindof problems with your cousins before having a relationship with them so you know or kindof relate to what I'm going through right now please please try to help
  11. I'm attracted to my first cousin (female) as long as I can remember and I currently developed really strong sexual feelings for her. I'm 18 years- old and a very shy and innocent guy, she is 20 very funny and a little bit crazy but I like that. Our families are very close and we kinda grew up together because we saw each other like every two months as kids. I think there has always been a sexual tension between us because she has been tempting me and flirting with me all the time when we were younger.Last year we went on vacation together with our grandparents, my sister and my parents. Me, my sister and my cousin slept together in the same room and my sister shared a bed with my cousin. But at one night I managed to sleep with them in their bed because we watched a movie on my tablet together. When my cousin suddenly felt asleep I started pressing my lap against her A$$ and massaged her long legs, it was such a nice feeling. Afterwards I turned around to sleep but I realised that she was touching my butt with her face and I still don't know If she was doing that on purpose. I turned around and started to hug her from behind but she left the room afterwards, at first I thought she was just going to the toilet but she went to my grandmother's room and rested there. I was really affraid that she would tell our grandma what I did. I really hope I didn't scare her or disgusted her by my actions. On the next morning we went to the beach and I had a conversation with my cousin, I said that I move a lot when I sleep and apologized for taking up her space on the bed the night before, she just nodded in approval. Later that day she was "accidentally" grabbing my butt in the ocean but my sister was around so I just ignored it. Two days later I found out that she had a boyfriend and not only that, he went on vacation with his family in the exact same city as we did what a crappy coincidence... they met up really often.I didn't talk to my cousin that much since then but on the last night before our family was leaving (my cousin was about to stay with my grandparents) I went all in. I slept with her in the same bed again and pretended to be asleep but she was awake. I pressed my lab against her butt again there was no sign that she didn't like it she was just texting with her boyfriend so she didn't really care I was even able to caress her A$$ but she didn't respond to it. Maybe it was cause of her boyfriend or because my sister was around or the fact that she was on her period on that day. I was tired so I fell asleep, on the next day we drove back home.One year later a couple of weeks ago to be exact we visited my grandparents, my cousin was there too. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. Later I catched her leaving the shower only wearing a towel, she smiled at me and accidentally dropped her comb, she bend forward to pick it up, I was able to see her hot butt again. On that evening we were alone watching TV in the living room, she felt asleep on the couch and was wearing a hot tight leggings. I said "pretty late tho" to make sure she was really asleep, she didn't responded, good sign. Then I went to the toilet when I returned I catched her looking at me with one eye open. I was too anxious to touch her so I just went to bed. I recently texted her to start a conversation but she didn't bother to reply. Yeah that's why I decided to post this thread, please help me I can't stop thinking about her.What do I do now? Is she interested in me? Is she really sexually attracted to me or am I just reading her signals wrong? Should I tell her about my feelings?
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