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I am 16 years old, and I was 11 when I first met my cousin. In fact, she is my mother's cousin, which makes us perhaps second cousins? Whatever. She is from another country and she hadn't come to my country since she was 15, before I was born. So, she came to visit the part of her family that is from my country. At the time, I was staying at my grandparents' (I live in another part of the country, in the countryside). I was very shy to people I didn't know (and still am), and I used to be extremely bothered by kissing (in my country it's the norm to kiss female friends, family members, and people who you just got to know, if in an informal context, on the cheek), my parents would try to get me to kiss people from my family, and I'd refuse (thus seeming rude). That is probably a reason why I am not very liked by my family (except for my close relatives). Anyway, when she first got to my grandparents', I was awed, she was stunning, and even her voice sounded sexy. That had never happened to me before. She was one of the nicest people i had ever met, and she seemed to like me. I think she was impressed by my general knowledge, and lack of interest in stuff that kids did (I have always been kind of an outsider). A few days after that (I wanted to go home and my mother couldn't go there to get me) she agreed to take me home, since on the way there is the highest mountain in my country, and she wanted to go there before returning to her country. She borrowed a car from my aunt, and we spent the day together. I showed her the way, and I showed her the small town where I live (it is a historic town, and it has one of the oldest castles in my country). She stayed at my house and she had to stay in my room, so we slept on the same bed. She fell asleep before I did, I got a boner, and I fapped while looking at her. She returned in the next day, and I was really sad. After she had returned to South America, I sent her a homemade gift, and that's when we started talking a lot. I thought that crush I had on my cousin would disappear, but it has not so far. A year after that, shd moved to another country in Europe, and I was the first person she told that. She came back to visit our family a few times, I'd get super excited when she did, and super sad when she left. She would also bring me stuff that she knew I liked whenever she visited. Last year, I managed to persuade my mother to visit her (my mum had never been to where my cousin lived). We all were really happy, I had the greatest time of my life. But, that's when something strange happened. I was taking a shower and she entered the bathroom (I am almost sure she knew I was there). She said sorry, quickly left, and never spoke of it again. She came back to visit a few weeks after that, and told me about her problems (like intimate stuff, such as arguments with her boyfriend, and she is not on speaking terms with her father). When we were at a family lunch, we went to the couch to watch TV (she was wearing a cute dress) and I my phone fell. While I was getting it (from under the couch), I looked up and I saw that she had no underwear (saw her soft kitty, warm kitty). I immediately got hard. About 6 months after that, my mother allowed me to visit her again (this time alone), and one day we pulled an all nighter to watch Game of Thrones. So, that's my story. I'm sorry for the big text. I know many (if not most) of you will not believe that, but there's nothing I can or want to do about it. Believe whatever you want. I'm not even sure what to ask...I've told this only to a few trustable friends, and I needed to share this with someone, because 5 years have passed and I still think about her everyday. I want to get closer to her. We don't text much, although she tells me everything when I'm with her, and I'd love us to text often. I know she likes me a lot (even my mother says so), but I would like us to be sort of "best friends" (or something like that). I know that a relationship is nearly impossible, but I find her so attractive! So, in short my questions are: 1- How do you think I can get closer to my cousin? 2 - How can I start a conversation with her? 3 - Should I tell her? 4 - Do you think it is possible that something (sexual) happens between us in the future? 5 - What would you do if you were me? Please don't make fun of me. If you want to help, please go ahead; if you don't, then get lost!
I am recently in a situation (going on two months now) of a mostly text relationship with a second cousin. I am 35 and he is 44. We did not meet until last summer (funny enough it was bc of studying genealogy). I felt an instant attraction to him. We talked sporadically over the next three months through text until one night we admitted a mutual attraction. Since then communication has been practically daily. From my angle, I live in a city, have no kids, and am not particularly bothered by the fact he’s my cousin. Our families are not close and we did not grow up together. (It would just be a relationship I saw as telling immediate family members and not being open with the public). We share so much in common. It was really like experiencing the male version of myself when I met and talked to him. Views on politics, religion, music, humor. We are very similar. He says while he is attracted to me he doesn’t see a long term relationship as practical and thinks we should pursue something with an expiration date. He has two kids, lives near immediate family in a small conservative town. We have discussed the discrepancy in our views (we both enjoy talking and want to get physical) and yet he continues to reach out to me and I continue to reciprocate communication. However, I cannot get physical with him under recreational circumstances. My question is...has anyone actually seen someone evolve in this kind of scenario? Is it practical to think he may eventually be okay with it down the road (even if in the beginning last time we talked about it specifically he said he saw the chance as slim)? I have ceased initiating communication with him and it only made him increase his communication even more. I know he likes me...a lot. But so far he hasn’t been able to promise a relationship with any hope for a future. As of yet, we have not seen each other since admitting mutual attraction over text. Is this situation with a reluctant potential partner one that anyone has seen or experienced before? Information on a relationship like this is not text book so it’s difficult to find and/or interpret. Thank you in advance for considering providing any input.