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This is possibly the hardest thing that I have ever done. I did not know where else to turn as this has been eating me up inside for a very long time. I find, and I am sure some others will agree with me, that being in love with your cousin, or, coming out as I call it, is worse than being Gay or Trans in Western Culture. I have found that the prejudice and disgust I get from most people even when, jokingly, I suggest I could possibly be in love with my cousin. And I am. Signing up to this forum to get this horrible thing off my chest was harder than I care to admit and I didn't want to even use my real email address in case it was hacked. Long winded introduction aside I have been in love with my second cousin for over twenty years. Even since I was a small child. I thought it was a phase and I was even told, by my therapist whom I have been seeing for nine years, that it was and that I would get over it. I have stopped seeing her as even she said to me it is something that I should, under no circumstances pursue and that it is something that I shouldn't even discuss with the cousin in question. I felt that, this deep dark secret isn't something that was safe from anyone, even my therapist the person I thought I could trust with this. What frustrates me is that my our family appears to be lenient when it comes to ALL OTHER forms of love. A 70 year old dating a teenager? No problem as long as she's legal. A man marrying 5 times in the course of 7 years? Who hasn't? But this, this seems to be the one thing that both of us have to hid for the rest of our lives. Every time I see him he gives me these looks which I know are longing. We have been on a few dates and it hurts now even to look at him. He seems to be ashamed of how he feels about me. Anything he says to me now is so completely innocuous that I don't know who he is anymore. I think of him every single day, I can't sleep or eat and what's worse is I can't tell anyone why. My mother thinks i'm depressed and I am but not for the reasons she thinks. I never thought something like love would kill me slowly but it is. As for him? Last year at our Christmas get together we were being especially affectionate towards each other. No kissing or anything like that but we were obviously infatuated with each other. The looks from my Aunts and Uncles were of utter disgust. As if, we shouldn't even be able to express how we feel without being physically affectionate. He has not seen me all year and I feel like this might be why. He never tells me how he feels, it's always just looks. Anytime we're alone together I am happier than I could ever imagine. I know that I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I want to tell him so badly how I feel but I feel so ashamed of myself. I hate myself for falling in love with him and it seems that everyone around me is telling me it's wrong. All I needed to do was right this down. Sometimes I can't stop crying because I know that no matter how hard we try our love story will never have a happy ending.
Im very close with my second cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew. She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew. I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us. Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok? Idk where to even start
Im very close with my cousin and we spend alot of time together. I've had feelings for her for s few years now, i thought it would go away, thought it was just a physical attraction because she IS beautiful. But as time went on the feelings stayed and grew. She is extremely nice to me, and we talk alot, she always tells me to come back the next day and come hang out. She even has a nick name for me. Idk if she has any where near the same feelings, i wish i knew. I dont know what to do, on one hand i deeply love her and long to hold her and kiss her she is beautiful but on the other i dont want to ruin what we got and make things weird between us. Is it ok for second cousins to be intimate ? How do i even go about seeing if she feels the same way and if she does how would i convince her its ok? Idk where to even start
Me and my cousin that I LOVE, are not close before. He left Philippines when he was 4 and he grew up in other country. When he was like 10 years old, he came back, I was just 6 back then, were not close and we didn't even talk before, and he left philippines again and he came back again like 3 years ago, that was 2009 and same thing, I don't even remember if we did talked before coz I'm shy to him and the thing is.. I have crush on him. So now 2017, he came back again for like 7 YEARS. When the first time I saw him for so many years, I was like wow, he grew up handsome and gorgeous. Then at first I'm still shy to him, and I have this feeling that makes my heart beat faster, I know this sounds corny but that is really how I feel everytime I see him. Then we got close, everytime he go out he alwas asking me if I can go with him. At first I was so shy but I got used to it. We became so close, hang out alot, he always prefers to be with me. Then the day before he leaves, there's the heavy feeling in my heart. Then at like 1 in the morning were still up, just the two of us. Just talking about things, then I can't take it anymore. I cried in front of him coz I'm so sad thinking that he's leaving tomorrow, he comfort me, hold my hand, and saying always that he will come back as soon as he can. Then he kissed my forehead for like 5 seconds before we go to our own rooms to sleep. I find it sooo sweet of him. Then when since he left, he made facebook just for me so we can still have communication somehow, it sucks that we don't have the same time interval but we still find a way to atleast talk even if we just talk about holy crapoly!, I feel so entertained and he told me he also feel the same. Since he left, everytime I dream he's always there, AND the thing is he also experiencing the same also!! Then now he keeps on calling me 'boo boo', I searched what is the meaning of that and it says that its other term for 'my love'. This is the first time I felt like this. It feels so strong. I feel like we have a connection but I don't know what kind of connection is this. Please help me coz I don't know what to do anymore.