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WarChild

Cousin Relation and Birth Questions

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Hi guys, I am new to this forum.

Some BG, I have been dating my cousin for 5 months now and progressing very well. I have some questions that I would like to seek help here.

I am Chinese Singaporean. As you all know Chinese can be quite superstitious especially the older generation where they tell you all the bad things of cousin relationships etc. I tend to not follow those Chinese traditions hence I want to seek help from the online committee.

      Great Grand Parents

            |                  |

Grandfather          Grandfather

      |                          |

    Father                  Father

      |                          |

      Me                        Her

My Grandfather and her Grandfather are brothers, my father and her father are cousins and me/her are 2nd cousins I supposed.

Now in Chinese tradition, they tend to say that we can't date cousins from the father side of the family which is the current case. I believed in scientific terms 2nd cousins means 2nd cousins, there's no such thing as father side of the family having more dominant genes or what not. Need clarification here. Just want to make sure our relationship is truly that of 2nd cousins with no traditional implication or what not.

Secondly, older generation keep telling us we will have defective babies and etc. Once again it's traditional mindset again which I hate.

Read from forums here that 2nd cousins probability of having defective babies is comparable to normal couples. Also read of many successful babies in cousin relationships.

Hence, I wish to find out whether my family tree scenario as shown above will affect the chance of us having healthy babies? As we are cousins from the same side of the family, people tend to give us more negative views / stories.....

Appreciate any help from fellow committee, lots of friendly people here. Cheers and Thanks!!!

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WarChild,

You are correct. Second cousins are second cousins, it doesn't matter if it is from your father or mother's side. Second cousins have the same risks as non-related couples. The resistance is solely traditional, not based in scientific facts.

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Warchild, you are correct, and correct to question the traditional wisdom of your culture. Whether cross or parallel, maternal or paternal, 2nd cousins are simply second cousins.

My understanding is that in the Chinese culture, paternal cousins are considered "siblings" only because of the possibility that two brothers could have shared the same woman. In other words, you could be 1/2 siblings and not even know it. I'm not sure if "sharing" was an old ancient custom, or just some unfounded fear. Do you know anything about this?

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Thanks Hawk and KC!

I am not exactly sure about this sharing thing. But I am 100% sure her dad and my dad only had 1 unique spouse so there's no chance we can be half sibling etc. So I guess we are purely 2nd cousin relationship.

My main objective is to seek assurance and confirmation of our 2nd cousin relationship and to understand more on what are the chances of having defective babies in a 2nd cousin relationship.

Thanks for the answers and I would appreciate if there's anymore useful info to share that would benefit us! Thanks for this useful forums, great work!

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There is nothing left to do except get married and live happily ever after.  :grin:

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WarChild,

I am married to my second cousin, although we want and plan to have children together, his family already hates the thought of us being together and is even more disgusted by the thought of us having a baby together. Therefore, I looked into this extensively just to prove to my husbands family that there is nothing to worry about.

Second cousins only share 3.327% DNA. The only concern you should worry about is the hereditary family medical history, for example:

My husband's grandfather, and my grandma (who are brother and sister) BOTH have diabetes. So does my husbands dad. But neither one of us do.

BUT, since it runs in our family, that is one of the things our child could inherit.

My best advise, if you're that worried about it, would be to seek genetic counseling.

Best of luck,

Ley

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Hi Ley,

Thanks for your response.

Looks like our family tree is quite similar other than my grandfather and her grandfather being brothers as compared to yours.

Like all cousin couples, at times there will be some doubt regarding the genetic issues and thoughts of having babies etc. I am also trying to learn more so as to educate her parents etc. At present, her parents are still not keen on the idea of us being together which make it quite hard for me currently.

Yup, I did consider genetic counseling in the future when we plan to have babies. Even with the information online and many others giving encouraging comments, at times there will be some worry.

Thanks for your encouragement, I wish you well too in and good luck on clearing your obstacle too.

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