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headoverheels

Cousin couple seeking answers

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We have been dating for a while and we want to get married. We like the idea of having kids but I already have 5 and I've had a tubal. I love kids and he doesn't have any. We currently reside in texas where it is prohibited from what I've read, to do ANYTHING but talk to or hug a cousin. I can not find any information on whether or not this state will recognize our marriage if performed in a state where it is legal. I have called a couple of attorneys and anytime I mention why I am calling they say they can't help me or that it's not their area although it is Family Law offices I am contacting. I am trying to get custody of my two youngest children but my ex husband is apprehensive because he knows about my current relationship, as well as, my first husband ( i was married twice) . My first husband is turning ugly and threatening to "taddle tell" on me about my relationship because he is jealous. I know an easy fix is to move to a state where our relationship is fully legal but my bf's job is here which hes been at for 16 years and I'm trying to find out like I said, if this state will recognize it, void it, or prosecute us for it and if someone can simply make a call and the cops come knocking on our door.  I f anyone has any advice please let me know. Thanks.

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packing up and relocating is never an easy fix. unfortunately, we can't really help you much. nobody here is an attorney. the law didn't always prohibit first cousins from marrying... in fact, that law is less than 10 years old, which may be one of the reasons you're having trouble finding an attorney willing to take the case... it's too darned confusing! there are first cousins here in texas that were married under texas law when it was legal, and now it's not any longer. what to do?

i did find this... it's very interesting, but it's only the question, not the answer. i'd love to find the answer. i'm sure one was issued at some point. i'll have to keep looking. https://www.oag.state.tx.us/opinions/opinions/50abbott/rq/2012/pdf/rq1086GA.pdf

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This issue needs to be addressed.  That moron Hilderbran created a mess with his blind use of the law (a very blunt instrument to be sure) in an effort to attack the FLDS church.  If he had half a brain, he'd realize that targeting a specific group the way he did would be seen for what it is and any conviction would be overturned by a court at some level (probably outside the district that elected a moron like that).

For the OP, you're in a precarious situation.  Unmarried, you open yourself up to a potential investigation.  Of course, you and your cousin would be idiots to confess anything other than "I want to talk to a lawyer" if ever questioned on the subject and the state would have absolutely no evidence to charge you if you did have a physical relationship without a confession or a witness.  All that aside, anyone who has dealt with child custody or child protective services knows that the need for evidence is inconvenient so they avoid it and just rule without it, excusing the flagrant abuse of law and rights as "protecting the children".

Should you go to another state and get married, the letter written (and withdrawn) would make a great case for a defense because it is 100% accurate and mirrors how a judge would rule (okay, in some parts of TX, an appeals judge because some local judges are dubious at best in their ability to make a distinction between what the law actually says versus what they wish the law said).  So, on one hand, I'm confident that you'd eventually win that case and in the process see the cousin marriage and criminal incest provisions stricken from the books in the same way homosexual sex was stricken by Lawrence vs. Texas.  On the other hand, I don't know about you, but I'm not eager to spend every dime I have and ever will make to become the case study for this and end up with nothing to show for it but a wrecked personal life and a name in the books.  It's a tough choice and I hope I don't end up moving to Texas and having to figure it out anytime soon.

Best wishes,

CM

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Not really sure I have much helpful advise in this, seems to be "helpless" situation. But, I think if i was in your shoes I would ride things out, stay low key and first focus on gaining custody of my children. After that, my next move would be planning to relocate. I know it has a lot to do with your cousins job and the years he's invested there but, at the end of the day money can always be made else where. If this is a relationship you both feel strongly about and want to seriously pursue marriage then you BOTH have to be willing to make the sacrifices and put in the work.

I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's purely JUST my opinion. My strongest advise would be to just pray on it, give it to God. Ask his for guidance and ask him for a sign. He will always provide.

Wishing you LOTS of love and luck,

Ley

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LadyC, Cm and Ley I want to thank you all for your responses. I understand that there aren't attorneys here for detailed or requested legal advice and that you all, as well as many other are very busy people. I am grateful for your input and am taking every bit into careful consideration. Hopefully this thread will be come across by any others in this state with similar questions and will help them. I guess from here on out it is doing just as you all have stated... staying low key (which I'm sure some know to be hard and depressing to do), handling personal/family matters and making the plans to relocate. It certainly will be a trying matter but we are certainly willing and it is most definitely worth it in the long run. As for the Texas law, I just can't believe that it was passed. But that seems to be society these days. If someone doesnt like it, there out to ban it or destroy it instead of simply ignoring it ( within reason). This truly is a great place. It's lifted loads of weight of my shoulders, knowing we're not alone in this. Thanks again for your time. I'll see you all in the forum  :cheesy:

Headoverheels

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