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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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baliber

new relationship

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My cousin and I have been dating for only a cpl months now and we hate the fact that we have to hide this from our family we have been talking about just getting married so nobody can do anything about it we truly are in love and are looking for advice

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I'm confused. What could anyone do about it that marriage would fix?

People are going to have opinions on your relationship married or not & rushing into a marriage is probably not going to give them anymore security that you've thought this threw.

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Her and I have been talking about marriage already and have planned to do so next week its gonna be a surprise we are married deal with it kinda thing but do have to say we truly are in love we were not raised together and the first time we met we knew we were related and didn't care it was like love at first sight and have been together since we just hate having to hide our love

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I can understand the want to just get married & make everyone else deal with it, we almost did that too. But you need to stop & think about how you would feel if your brother/sister/son/daughter came to you & said "surprise I married my cousin & there's nothing you can do about it!" My brother eloped with his wife (not a cousin) & I felt sad that not only did they not have enough courage to tell us about it but that we weren't there to celebrate with them.

We (cousin & I) have opted out of marriage for now, we love to travel & live new places & my fear is that once we're married we will be 'stuck' in a legal state. Besides it isn't legal in our current state (but is where we plan to move next.)

After almost 15yrs together our families have come to not only accept us (for the most part..there's always gonna be that one person who tries to make you feel bad) but are just waiting for the day we say we're getting married lol. I've gotten more than one hurt feelings phone call because a rumor was started that we tied the knot & didn't tell anyone.

Also, I don't know you two, but please don't rush into a marriage just because you feel it will fix all your problems. I know you said you're in love, but before you do anything drastic make sure it's 'long term' love & not 'right here right now' lust. There is a difference :)

And last but not least please make sure that your in a legal state to marry (some have special stipulations).

So...with all that said...CONGRATS! I wish you nothing but happiness.

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Her and I have been talking about marriage already and have planned to do so next week its gonna be a surprise we are married deal with it kinda thing but do have to say we truly are in love we were not raised together and the first time we met we knew we were related and didn't care it was like love at first sight and have been together since we just hate having to hide our love

Baliber, USE PUNCTUATION.

to write without using periods and commas is a slap in the face to literacy. it's also disrespectful to those you are seeking advice from, because you are forcing us to try to decipher your rambling.

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I agree LadyC. I only expect 2nd grade English here. Can we not write at at least this level? I understand if you don't have English as a main language; otherwise, please take the time to explain your problem if you want us to take time to answer it.

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