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kathyae

He's back in our life's!

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Hello my name is Angie and i have a 9 year old beautiful girl. The love of my life is my 1st cousin and well our story is to complicated he left me when i was 3 months pregnant and now he wants to build a relationship with our daughter. I told him that i would help him build that relationship because i know that every little girl needs a father. My family knows that he's the father i just don't know what's going to happen.

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Hi Angie,

Welcome to cc.com!

I wanted to start out by saying how exciting that your love is back in your lives! I hope everything works out for your family, but make sure you are cautious trusting someone who's already left once - especially now that your daughter is involved & old enough to know what's going on.

Is the news that your daughter's father your first cousin new to your family? If so you might get some shocked reactions - just remember to give them some time to adjust.

Anyway, again welcome to cc.com & hope to hear more from you soon <3

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Thank you so much for the very kind welcome totallynormal & LadyC  :cheesy: My family knows about our relationship and well of course it was a BIG NO,NO. It all star it in our first trip to Mexico we were kids he was 12 and I was 8 all of the cousins were playing mommy and daddy we all had to pick partners and well he picked me our aunt married us and when we kissed well we just looked at one another. Then I didn't see him till we were in our 20's by this time he already had two kids but his relationship was rocky. We talked and talked he became my best friend and that's when it all star it again he kissed me and I melted in his arms it was a secret on till he moved to Texas and he asked me to follow him. I did but he told me he need It some time to buy a house for us so I left two months passed and he asked me to returned I did and again he need It more time but this time was different I was pregnant with my fist chilled and his third. I didn't know I was pregnant when I left him (well when he asked me to leave) I had 2 months when I found out. He didn't sound to happy when I told him the good news yet he asked me to move back but this time I didn't leave. It was to much so he called it quits  :cry: He broke my hart. And now he just wants to come in our life's like nothing happen :undecided: I still love him very much I told him this and well he told me he still loves me  :cry: but now he has 2 more kids (in total 4 without counting my daughter) whit the same lady  :( how can he tell me he loves me how and why... Please help I'm really confuse it's been almost 10 years and I still love him yes I'm single because I just don't know how to be with anyone.. :embarrassed: The worst is if my family finds out that I'm talking to him It will break my family's heart I just cant do It again they love my daughter I just don't think that they will understand. I don't know what to do.

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Oh my, where to start?

First, is said cousin still in Texas? I believe there might be a legality issue there (as in it isn't legal), I'm not 100% but I'm sure someone here knows. I'm no lawyer, but is ALWAYS my advice to stay out of states where you have to break the law, especially with a child in tow.

Secondly, I'm going to be blunt here...you need to get over this man & move on with your life/lives. This man has moved you in & kicked you out how many times?

Um, no. You deserve better & so does your kid.

You are risking losing a family who loves her to 'try again & again &.......again' with a man who has done what for her? From the sounds of it, nothing.

Third, This guy's got 4 other kids with another woman. Two younger than your daughter. This to me says he's staying with one of you'uns until he gets bored & then bounces to the other one. Not a good situation to be in because sadly it sounds like you really do have feelings for him :(

If it were me, I'd say a big no thanks & walk away.

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If he wants to be in his daughter's life, then good.  But in terms of having a relationship with this person, be very cautious. 

This time around listen to what your heads says, not your heart.  Only you know this person and what he is truly like. 

Truly consider, is this person matured and capable of having a long-term commitment?  It's black and white..either he is or isn't.  If you pause to justify why he did this or that, your heart is trying to compensate and you are not listening to what your head is telling you.

Best wishes on your decision.

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I just wanted to let every one know that I truly appreciate your time thank you for reading my post and for taking the time to give me your most sincerely opinion.

:huh: :huh: Yes he just recently moved back to Texas. I just don't understand why.. why if I confronted all my family for him why couldn't he do the same for me?? I'm not sure but i think that all of his family doesn't know about my daughter  :cry: He wants me to take my daughter to Texas so he can meet her(for legal reasons It's easy for me to fly to Texas not so much for him) should I take her? I do love him but I am not getting back with him I know that will be stupid of me and my family will feel betrayed I don't want to put them true that ever again for a man that will never put me first. Closetomydream your right I have to think with my head not my heart and Yes totallynormal It's a BIG NO THANKS I can't let him hurt me ever again. I will be very careful and keep my eyes opened to make sure he doesn't hurt my daughter because if he hurts her oh..man.. the tiger will come out. Thank you you guys help me so much how can I ever thank you...

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