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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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snake

a second chance

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So this is all very new for me. I am falling in love with me second cousin. Hard and fast! It all started about 3 weeks ago. I found out my great uncle was dying. He was an amazing man. When I went to see him, the entire family was gathered. And there sat the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen.  I recognized her immediately, even though we hadn't seen each other in 10 years. (Oddly enough, I'm also 10 years her senior). As son as our eyes met, I was smitten. And shortly after we reconnected, she introduced me to her husband. I should mention at this point, I am married as well. My wife did not attend family functions with me during the week, as she had wok obligations. My cousins husband was there, but was a complete ass. That being the case, we spent all our time together. While our daughters spent time getting to know each other. I didn't have the courage to tell her how I felt before she went back home , (and thought it for the best). Then she began texting me. I can't recall everything that was said, and I'm sure much of it is not appropriate for this forum. Let's just say that a very strong mutual attraction became very clear to the both of us. As our feelings for each other were growing, she was making plans to leave the man she wasted the last 4 years of her life with. Oddly enough, my marriage also is failing. I should mention at this point that our meeting had nothing to do with our decisions to leave our spouses. We had both made that choice before our encounter with each other. Our family has no idea yet. And we have no intentions of sharing I with them any time soon. We do intend to have a very discreet relationship with each other. One which I hope will last a lifetime. She has made it clear to me that I make her very happy. I am amazed at how much alike we are. I am fearful in some ways. This is new for both of us. I'm worried about what the family will think to some extent. At the same time, I'm 37 years old and could care less. My family has never been very close to begin with. I am concerned for her though. She is very close to both her mother and father. I have always cared about her family a great deal. I have a lot of respect for her father. One big concern for me is, I almost feel like I'm betraying her father. I know when the time comes I want him to hear it from me.....or at least both of us. But I fear how the family will react with her. For now, we are planning to keep our relationship secret. Which shouldn't be all that difficult, since we live 3 states apart. But at some point we are going to have to close that gap. And that's going to be interesting to explain. Wish us luck. And I will keep you posted on our progress.

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Snake - please keep us posted sounds like when you get your lives sorted out you'll be very happy together. Isn't it amazing the instant attraction you can have and know it is just right ??

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It is absolutely perfect. We talk every day,  all day, and all night. We are constantly in touch. We are so much alike it's scary. And we have determined that our feelings are very mutual. We are both happier than either of us have ever been with anyone.

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It is absolutely perfect. We talk every day,  all day, and all night. We are constantly in touch. We are so much alike it's scary. And we have determined that our feelings are very mutual. We are both happier than either of us have ever been with anyone.

I have the same thing going on. I have the same scary being a like thing going on with my cousin.....it is a great feeling. It is a connection I have never felt with anyone before.

What are your next steps in the relationship ??

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She currently lives in another state. So at the moment we are planning reasons to see each other, lol. We are going away for the weekend next week just the 2 of us. The anticipation is killing us right now. We text and talk all day and all night. Most of the time with friends and family around us. I'm surprised we haven't got busted yet! Lol

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She currently lives in another state. So at the moment we are planning reasons to see each other, lol. We are going away for the weekend next week just the 2 of us. The anticipation is killing us right now. We text and talk all day and all night. Most of the time with friends and family around us. I'm surprised we haven't got busted yet! Lol

Sounds like were are in similar situations. If your weekend goes like mine did it'll knock your socks off. You'll be amazed at the overall connection. The anticipation part is extremely tough. Then after the weekend being apart will be very hard.

If she lives in a different state how are you spending so much time with her ??

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Skype, phone, text, and emails. We are in constant contact, every waking moment.

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So just an update on my situation. My lovely cousin and I had an amazing weekend together. She arrived Thursday night, we spent the night together. We spent Friday together, and Friday night as well. Saturday we went to her grandmothers, (my great aunts), and just hung out with family. And Sunday we spent easter together with the family. She is reluctant to let anyone in on our little secret for now. So we kept everything very "appropriate". However she did express her love for me many times over the weekend. Her daughter, who is 9, has also somehow developed a strong attraction to me. And cried herself to sleep on their drive home, because she didnt want to leave me. All in all, I am madly in love with her, and she appears to be with me as well. We have agreed to keep it our little secret for now. But I'm dying to let it all out. I'll play the game for now. As we have begun to discuss our future together, how long to keep our secret, and when we will ultimately decide to let everyone know. Until then, I have met my soul mate. I have never been happier in my life. You all have been a great inspiration to me. I hope to have more wonderful news for you all soon.

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Snake that is awesome, glad to hear it is moving forward in a positive direction !! Now another hard part is being separated when you feel that way.

I assume when you say you spent Thursday and Friday night together it was with more than just a firm handshake.

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Lol, well, let's just leave it at.......we got a hotel together away from the family!

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Getting caught up on all those I Love Lucy and Leave it to Beaver reruns I assume  :wink: :wink:

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Well.....getting caught up....for sure! But the tv was never turned on, not even for a second!

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You gotta have the TV on lol or at least we do! It drowns out the sound so the neighbors don't hear ;)

True story: we've lived here since Nov & there's only been a few days warm enough to have the windows open. One of those days we got caught up in the moment & forgot to shut the bedroom window. A few neighbors heard us I assume because two different ones high fived my partner when he went out to smoke (no kids live close by thankfully!). My neighbor to the left STILL won't look me in the eye LMAO!

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I guess I'm just not all that shy about it. I don't care who hears me. She was pretty loud too. That might explain why the guy at the front desk kept smiling at us so much, and the lady up there was blushing!

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  Lol, the walk of shame to the front count during check out. Then your lady probably had that certain "glow" of happiness at the family function that had people scratching their heads.

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I'm not usually shy either but I happen to know these particular neighbors are bad at having sex (I'm not the only one who's left the window open..).

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Well, not to "toot my own horn", but she was all smiles! The family thinks she has a local boyfriend she isn't telling them about. And they also think I have a new girlfriend I'm not telling them about. (She left scratches and hickies all over my neck). They just haven't made the connection. Lol. And dude! How can your neighbors be " bad at sex"? How is that possible? Lol

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(She left scratches and hickies all over my neck).

Ok, Mr Toot Toot now we know you had a good time  :smiley:

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With my cousin we were at a Bed and Breakfast. She tended to get very vocal during the critical moments. In the morning she was very embarrassed to do the walk of shame and eat breakfast with all the other guests.

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I replied but it's not there, so it was either too explicit (sorry!) or it was because I got a call in the middle of replying & my phone booted me...so I'll just put it this way...

Have you ever had a partner who was very bad in bed? Just plain flat out vanilla, lasts 3mins, quiet, boring sex? That's my neighbors.

& don't you know that scratches & hickeys stay in the 'under clothing' areas?? Jeez. But seriously we've all ended up with 'the tell tail marks', I walked around with bruises on my wrists for a week before I learned the washcloth trick lol

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Well neither of you give one shit about the vows you made to your spouses. One can only wonder how long this will last.

Does anyone take a vow seriously anymore or is it just a free for all? Are spouses disposable? Maybe but families aren't and you should think long and hard before you destroy it.

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The divorce rates in the united states are over 50% for fIrst marriages (2nds are higher) are spouses disposable?

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No KC, we did take our vows seriously. Unfortunately our spouses didnt. We were both stuck in lloveless marriages that were beyond repair. And I say beyond repair, because regardless of how hard you try, one person can not save a broken marriage. My wife refused to try, and my loves husband refused to try.  Rather than accepting their share of the responsibility they choose to blame us for the all the failures associated with our marriages. Unfortunately I believe this is a common feeling among society today. Too many people have little regard for the sanctity of marriage. I've have tried for about 4 or 5 years now, to work things out with my wife. I can no longer remain miserable. I refuse to devote myself, my time or my effort to someone who could care less about me. I am absolutely to blame. As this is my first marriage, I should have known there was an issue when I found out she had been married 3 times previously. But like a blind fool, I assumed things would be different with me. Call it, young, dumb, and hopefull. I do not take marriage lightly, and neither does my current love. That is why we have decided that, if we do get married again (whether to each other or someone else), we will be sure it is the last time.

As for an update on us. We have fallen head over heels. I'm sure those of you that have the type of relationship can relate. It is amazing. Neither of us ever imagined it possible to have such a complete and absolute, need, or want for someone. The kind of unconditional absolute love that is unyielding. We have decided the family will find out, when they find out. We aren't going to hide our relationship,  but we aren't announcing it either. We have also begun planning to move in together. Since she lives in another state, we are looking for a location conveniently spaced between our family where we can be as close as possible to both sides. When all that can be arranged (we are hoping by the end of the year), then we shall progress with our union. The future is looking very bright for us.

KC, I understand your feelings. I appreciate and respect your opinion. However, it's always best to know the full story before you insert your foot in your mouth. I'd love to chat with you sometime. (Not argue or fight) I think you would understand why we have chosen the path that we have. We both tried very hard to fight for what we had with our spouses. Unfortunately it seems the feelings we thought were mutual, we're not.

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