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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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nikkinikki

i want to be more

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I just moved to different state to live with my cousins who I haven't seen since I was younger. One night we all were drinking heavily and I stated to to rub my cousins thigh but all he said was "We are cousins. Cousin what are you doing ?" But he let me continue.After a few more drinks him and I went out to the sheld where he throw me against the wall and stated making out with me very passionately. I really liked I've never felt like that before by anyone. That night we had sex and sam  the next morning. This continued for a few weeks until one night I told him that I was falling for him and he just flat out told me that it can go any where because we are family and no one would understand.He doesn't talk to me as much anymore of text me like he use to. Its sucks because I want more from him. I want to be with him have a relationship the whole nine with him. Now I can't stop thinking about him or looking at his pictures. I'm stuck and it sucks so bad  :cry:

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sorry if this sounds mean but clearly he's only using you for sex. I mean he told you that . don't let anyone use you for sex.. women are more worthy of that. the longer you keep this going its only going to make it worse on you. move on... and how old are you two?

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You don't sound mean at all. You sound just about right and today I'm going to tell him i cant do this with him anymore. I'm tired of being used its hurts to put feeling in and get nothing in return. Thank you for your honesty.

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yep, mystory hit the nail on the head. you were a living fantasy for this guy.... all the taboo that made him feel the thrill of getting that forbidden fruit, and you made it easy. but when you started having feelings, that wasn't just an easy piece of arse anymore.

i'm sorry you're hurting, but there's more to be learned from this. getting wasted with alcohol (or drugs) lowers our inhibitions and even makes sex a lot of fun, but it will almost always result in heartache in the long run. forgive me while i turn preachy here (and it's a sermon that i learned the hard way, because in my younger years i was pretty promiscuous), but there is a reason why God tells us that sex is supposed to be between a man and a wife. when we treat it as a casual, recreational sport, we are giving a part of ourselves away that is supposed to be full of intimacy and emotion. and guess what? the longer we continue to engage in the sexual relationship, the less able we are to suppress those natural feelings of intimacy and emotion... the ones that should have come first! when we let those come first, they help to protect our hearts from being broken. but when we go about it backwards and start with sex, we're just setting ourselves up for heartache... because the sad truth is, the guys don't reach that intimacy level at nearly the same rate of speed that we gals do.

the reason i bring that up is because if you understand that concept, you might be able to guard your heart in the future. don't give away your body so easily. you have a right to expect a man to reach that loving intimacy that makes him want to protect your heart. and you have the responsibility to yourself not to settle for less than what you deserve.

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I've really just try to stay always from him all together . He is younger then me and really isnt ready for what I'm ready for. I want a relationship not just a fling and he has made that very clear that he's not ready . I do feel that reading your advice had helped me. Thank you .

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