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orderinchaos

Need help dealing with this

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So I was far from home I was having problems and I was online when I got a friend request from a girl that it turned out to be my cousin she helped me through my bad times I have never met her in person but when we talked it's not like talking to a family member.Well I am home now and some how my mom mentioned her and she was saying that she would like me to me to marry her since she knows her and she said her mom is cool about as well we are both in our early 20's.Well I still talk to her and I know this may seem weird but I have developed feeling for her I am going to met her at Dec for some festivals and I was wondering how can I go by this I wanna make a move when I visit her but don't know how or what to do and can I do something right now I can only talk to her online.I don't think it would really weird since my uncle married his cousin and had kids. I can't keep her of my head she is all I think about and anxious to see her.

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There are a couple of things I want to address:

1.  This is an online relationship; you've never met.  Cousins or no, online "relationships" are high on the emotional spectrum because you are dealing with a fantasy.  Take this very slowly.  Get to know her in person before you make any kinds of decisions regarding her.

2.  Your mom mentioned that she wants you to marry your cousin?  Are you in a culture where arranged marriages/parents have a large influence on their children's marriage partner, are the norm?  I only ask because in the typical American household, this type of thing is pretty much unheard of between a parent and a child.

3.  You aren't going to see her until Dec and are already planning how to make a move on her?  In your first meeting?  Why don't you wait and get to know her a little bit before you make a move?  I know you've been communicating online, but people and relationships are much different when you are there face to face.

I understand that your emotions are very high right now.  You've made a connection with someone and developed feelings for her, but the reality is that you don't know that who she seems to be on the phone and in a chat room is the same person that she is in person.  Maybe she is and you have found someone very special.  But maybe she's not.  Take this very slowly and get to know her.  Long distance relationships are very difficult (I know, I'm in one) and the fact that you have not even met yet makes the fantasy and the thrill seem more exciting.

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First of all thank you , you're right  it's been a very emotional "fantasy" relationship because talking to her she seems like the perfect woman she is a lot like me I start planning out dates and she posts about love, couples, etc  and I assume she is talking about me she is also single never had a bf I think I know a lot about her already don't want to know everything yet till we meet in person.    2. IIt's not arranged but she prefers her because she knows her and it's not frowned upon since my uncle married his cousin and they are accepting of everything 3.Well I'm not really gonna make a move move I'm going to buy her gifts (it's near x-mas time) tell her to show me the area to spend some 1on 1 time stuff like that unless somebody can give suggestions? Yeah going to know more about her and try to control my emotions.

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Good for you orderinchaos!  I think your idea of buying her a Christmas gift and having her show you the sights of the area is a perfect idea!

Have fun and enjoy the ride!

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