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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Leane

Who is he to me?

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I'm sure this is a popular question, but I can't seem to find my particular one anywhere.

My great-aunt had a son whom married a lady that has a brother. Her brother's child is what to me? The lady is my second cousin, my dad's first cousin. So the person in question is my second-cousin-by-marriage's nephew by marriage. We don't share any blood. We just can't figure out what we are to one another, technically.

There are certainly complications ahead if anything develops beyond this fascination and curiosity we have with one another even if we aren't close cousins. He's the ideal guy for me in every other way.

Thanks for any help!

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If the lady is your dad's first cousin, then she is your first cousin once removed, not your second cousin.

I'm not sure I follow the lineage here.  If your dad's first cousin has a brother then that brother is your dad's first cousin also.

They are not your second cousins. The lady and her brother would be first cousins once removed to you. It is a generational thing.

That would make you and the "cousin" you are interested in second cousins.

That you say there is no blood relation between the two of you would then make you totally unrelated.

I am not sure where the no blood relation comes in unless it is from different marriages. Like your dads first cousins parent

married a person that already had children from a previous relationship. That would be the "brother" you mentioned.

Maybe some one else has a clearer take on this than I do and will chime in later.

By the way, how old are the two of you. Might not help with the  relationship question,

but might be relevant to any advice you might get.

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Leane,

What he is to you is totally unrelated. At least by blood. The lady is the wife of your dad's first cousin, so, his "cousin-in-law". Like sister-in-law, only cousins. Her brother is the brother-in-law of you dad's first cousin. His son would be your dad's cousin's nephew, but only through his marriage to the lady, not blood. He would only be the lady's biological nephew, not the nephew of anyone on your side of the family. Anyone who would give you grief over him being YOUR cousin somehow is a fool. Pay no attention to such foolishness.

Even if he was the son of your dad's cousin, and the lady, he would then be, by blood, your second cousin. Second cousins are legal everywhere we know of. If your dad's cousin and the lady have kids, then the young man in question would be THEIR first cousin, but, still, totally unrelated to you. It reminds me of a humorous saying I've quoted here a couple times, made by a guy I use to work with in Kentucky once. We asked him what he was doing one weekend we had off, and his reply was, and I quote:"Oh, we're going over to see my uncle's brother's sisters' kids and them."  :shocked: Whut? "You know, my uncle's brothers' sisters' kids and them..." OOOOOKKKKK Dave, as long as you've got it figured out.  :huh:  :laugh:

So, provided you are both of age, or keep the physical to an age appropriate level, carry on, and nip the drama in the bud with the information provided here....

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