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bled413

My cousin won't marry me.

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Hi, my cousin and I have been together for 3 years. On our 1 year anniversary, I proposed to her and she said yes. After some time I would ask her "when are we going to get married?". She would always say "soon". Then, about 2 months ago I asked her again. She said soon. I looked at her and said, "we're not going to get married are we?!" She told me no. It broke my heart, but we haven't broken up, we're still together, we live together, our relationship is great, but she's not ready. I know she's afraid to get married because when we do, I'm going to tell my mother about us. I love my mother I couldn't get married (for the 1st time, I'm 48 now she's 50) without telling her. Her parents (my aunt) are both passed. My mother grew up in a very religious house. (Her parents Are baptist ministers) she's more open now that she's older but it still scares my beautiful cousin.she says someday we will get married. I guess I just have to be patient with my beautiful 1st cousin whom I am deeply in love with. Wish me luck.

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so.... someday when your mom is dead your cousin will marry you?

why not just get this elephant out of the room and tell your mother that you love your cousin? i don't care that your mom is a baptist. if she loves the Lord and reads His word, then she will know that God is A-OK with cousins marrying. never did have a problem with it. in fact, He insisted on it many times in scripture.

your mom might have a conniption over you shacking up with her outside of marriage though. if your cousin wants to worry about your mom's opinion on something, it seems that would be the more likely to upset her.

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Happy Easter to you too. I've wanted to tell my mom from day 1, but she is scared of her reaction. I don't think it'll be as bad as she thinks, more of a big surprise, and I have heard her react with an "eeewwwww" before when reading about other cousins in the paper so it may not be as pleasant as we want. I keep threatening my cousin that I'm going to tell my mom anyway. I know I can't make everyone happy so I think I'll just do that. My mom lives a couple of hours away but we get together once in a while for birthdays and stuff. The time is nigh!

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you could tell her in a letter... we actually have one on this site that you could adapt to suit your needs :) send it to her first, then go see her, maybe.

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I agree with LadyC, nothing in the bible says cousin's can't be together. Over here in the UK cousin's can get married, so it's not as bad/wrong as people think.

Write it in a letter is the right thing to do, makes it easier to come to terms and get her head around it of you and your Cousin being together :smiley:

nessa76

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