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BrokenHeart

I have a crush on my cousin, do you think she likes me back?

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Hi, I'm a 22 year old guy who has a crush on his younger female cousin who is 18 year old! We met once when we were just kids like when we was 4 and 8 years old which we don't remember so much from that meeting! A year ago we came in contact again through facebook and we talked to each other a lot, gave each other advices about our romantic lives and became good friends too!

Then I finally met her again after many years! I had no feelings or thoughts of her just that she is my cousin until I met her together with my uncle who had come to visit us. We live few hours from each other. Anyway that day the first thing that struck my mind was "She is gorgeous" but still not enough for me to fall in love or something.

We continued to talk on facebook before we decided to meet up again, one day I jumped on the train and visited her.. She ran up to me and kinda jumped on me and hugged me tightly.. later that day she followed me to the train station where she started to hit me with her hips and were so playful. At her place she was more quiet, but when we were alone she was open.

We continue to talk to each other and after few months we met again.. That day she was very playful again and she just kept on punching my arm(playfully) and later when we sat down she put her head on my shoulder.. Around this time I had already evolved some type of affection to her. Later that day we went to her new place where she now lives alone. There she started to play with me by kicking me(playfully) and started to play with my hair.. Then it was late so I just left that night.

I asked her out for dinner and the cinema, around this time my affection evolved into more than just a crush, I had feelings for her now. So we met and she was dressed so indescribable nice, she shined in my eyes.. Everything about her was magic.. How she walked towards me and how she was smiling! Got only one word about her "Beautiful".. Under the dinner we talked about past events of our lives.. She told me the latest stuff that occurred between her and her Ex boyfriend, discusions and stuff like that.. I supported her and adviced her, told her that he is not the right one when he keeps hurting her over and over again. I told her that she will one day find the one that will make her the luckiest girl/woman in the world, one who will love her and appreciate her and care about her.. Even though I have feelings for her I still acted as only a cousin and gave her no signs of my affection towards her since I'm not even sure what she thinks about me.. She also told me that she doesn't care about her Ex boyfriend anymore, but that there is someone who can keep her with company and do stuff with her, another boy who lived nearby her before who liked her in the past and who still wants to do dirty things with her. That crushed  my heart, she is a virgin and she says that she wont be having sex with him just play with him, have him as a company, but what she really desires in her heart is to find the perfect guy for her and be happy with not go around and screw with guys! Same that day she again put her head on my shoulder and when I gave no reaction at all she punched my arm.. Later we said good night to each other and parted ways and I went home!

Sorry that I wrote so much.. There is of course more things I would like to write which can maybe be a clue if she likes me back or not the same way.. I will just write down in tags

● She calls me by a nickname

● She touches me a lot(hands, knees, hair and lately face too)

● She likes to play with me

● She smiles a lot to me and gives me a special look in the eyes (in my opinion)

there is more I can't think of right now :\

So here is my question, can it be that she likes me back the way I like her, but is holding back for the same reason as mine. That I am her cousin and the thought that maybe I don't like her back the way she likes me and not to screw things up and lose me? Can it be that she says that she wants to have this boy as a company to test me how I react because I reacted alright.. I'm so confused and what I truly believe is that she doesn't like me the way I like her! Wish she did though, I have known many girls personally and I do not fall in love so easy and I have to say that she is the perfect one for me!

Thanks in advance

Love from Denmark

EDIT: I hope this is the right place to ask this, I'm sorry if it is the wrong place :)

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Hi Brokenheart,

There is nothing that you've written that definielty indicates to me that she loves you more than just a cousin. Some people are very tactile and like to touch and be touched. Having nicknames for cousins is not unusual - I have nicknames for all of my cousins, male and female.

On the other hand, A cousin that had deep feelings for you would probably also do those things. The only way you are going to know, is to ask her how she feels about you, and tell her how you feel about her.

Good luck.

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Thanks for a reply and thank you :-) That's the best choice, but the most difficult one too :-) If I had the courage I would have already asked her if she likes me, but this isn't any girl she is my cousin that is why I can't ask her if she likes me or not, that's what makes the situation worse..

I feel that she flirts with me and that ever next time we meet she flirts even more.. I have many female cousins, but the relationship I have with this one is different.. I grew up with the others, but not with her! I keep asking myself, what cousin would be so comfortable or a flirt with her male cousin after just meeting with him like 4 times together! My other female cousins are not even close to me even though we grew up together..

I will keep on adding stuff I forgot to add to my first post as I recall them and when new things happens :) And I will wait some more and look at how this goes :-) Maybe my own feelings for her will just fade away with time or maybe I will get proper signs that she either likes me as a cousin or more :-)

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Hall?j landsmand.

F?rst vil jeg rose dig for et velskrevet indl?g. Jeg kunne virkelig leve mig ind i din historie, og jeg er overbevist om at din kusine geng?lder dine f?lelser.

Jeg selv er ogs? plaget af tvivl og t?ven, men i mods?tning til min egen situation, er det nogle ret st?rke signaler din kusine lader til at sende.

Hvis jeg var i din situation ville jeg nok flirte noget mere, is?r fysisk kontakt er enormt vigtigt. Det nedbryder gr?nser og f?rer til mere fysisk kontakt. Start med at l?gge en h?nd p? hendes arm n?r du vil ha hendes opm?rksomhed, f?r hende gennem en d?r ved at s?tte din h?nd p? hendes ryg osv. Den slags ber?ring skaber n?rhed, og virker ikke alt for ?benlys.

Sp?rg hende om hun vil se en film, en gyser eller skr?mmende film er godt, da hun rykker t?ttere p? dig hvis hun bliver lidt skr?mt. Eller ogs? en uskyldig film der tilf?ldigvis indeholder nogen uartige scener, som m?ske vil afsl?re hende lidt. Skru ned for varmen og s?rg for der kun er 1 t?ppe i rummet, s? i bliver n?d til at sidde t?t. L?g din arm om hende osv.

Denne kontakt vil f?r eller siden lede til et ?jeblik, Hvis du er opm?rksom, som du selv kan regne ud hvad f?rer til.

Kvinder flirter for at vise interesse, og det er s? op til manden at tage f?ringen, s?dan er det n?sten altid. Bolden er derfor i din banehalvdel s? at sige.

Efter at have l?st mange historier p? denne side, lader det til at det som stopper mange er tabuet. Jeg selv undertrykte mine f?lelser s? meget i s? lang tid at jeg n?sten ikke vidste hvad jeg f?lte l?ngere. Men jeg er nu kommet over det "forkerte" aspekt i det hele, og har indr?mmet overfor mig selv hvordan jeg har det. Og pr?ver nu at v?kke samme ?benbaring i min kusine.  I f?lge hvad du siger, lader det ikke til at tabuet generer hende, og det er nok kun digselv der d?jer med det. Dine f?lelser er smukke og reelle, og er helt naturlige og absolut intet at skamme sig over. I Danmark er vi efterh?nden s? ?bne, at det n?ppe kan genere nogen hvis i er sammen.

Nu er vi jo allesammen forskellige, men jeg troede ogs? at mine f?lelser m?ske ville forsvinde, men de bliver st?rkere for hver gang jeg ser hende, og hun bliver kun smukkere og dejligere for hver dag der g?r.  B?ndet mellem f?tre/kusiner er meget st?rkt, og k?rlighed mellem dem virker til at v?re meget st?rkere og mere holdbart end for fremmede. Og jeg vil derfor anbefale at du giver det et fors?g. Ligemeget hvad der sker er der INTET v?rre end at fortryde noget man ikke gjorde.

Jeg ved ikke om mit vr?vl hj?lper noget, men du skal ihvertfald vide at der er andre derude som har det ligesom dig, og at det er helt normalt at have disse f?lelser.

Hvis der er mere du vil snakke om s? skriv endelig.

Vh Ebbe

(p.s. jeg er 28 hun er 18)

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Takk for en fantastisk respons Ebbe, Jeg er opprinnelig fra Norge og bor i Norge. Skrev innlegget fra Danmark og det er grunnen for at jeg skrev "Love from Denmark" Fantastisk land, misunner dere litt n? hehe :-D Var der p? ferie :-)

I will write the rest in English so everybody else understands what we are saying :-) I started to flirt more back and it looks like she likes it, I have never been pushed away by her (yet). Btw we met two more times after my first post and this is what happend;

I called her and we met again. We went to a Cafe and bought coffees and walked together for half an hour before we sat down and talked. She really loves to touch me for some reason and I have started to touch her back gently.. Then we talked about random stuff, she is not completely over her ex-boyfriend yet(though she said she doesn't care for him anymore) so she talks stuff about him too sometimes and I respect that since I have been in her situation before so I know it is not easy to forget someone and just move on! Even though it hurts me in the inside I try to keep up the smile :)

Later that day she would meet a friend Ida(female) and I suggested to follow her home to Ida since it was late night. We took a cab (I payed of course hehe) and before we met Ida we first stopped by another friend Peder(male) who joined us and all of us went to Ida were we sat down and just talked for few minutes before we started to walk all four of us.. I don't really know them, but she wanted to introduce me so I said that's fine by me :-) One thing that caught my attention was that when I was speaking to Ida few steps ahead of my cousin and her friend Peder I heard Peder suggesting her to go into a relationship with me, I was surprised, but I did not react and pretended I did not hear it! I heard she laugh a little bit and saying "I can't do that he is my cousin" and Peders response was "So what?!" Btw Peder is her bestfriend so I am sure he knows things I do not, so I am thinking maybe if she likes me she might have talked about me to him! I don't know :) I couldn't hear them all the time, besides her friend Ida kept talking to me so I was distracted. Then few minutes later when I was walking alone she ran up to me and squeezed her body into mine and was very flirtatious! That day ended with me leaving them. So that was both good and bad for me, and I was left confused!

Few days ago she called me and I asked her if she wanted to meet me and she answered yes without hesitating and she had dressed up nicely! We went to a restaurant and ate dinner together then she asked me to join her to the shopping center and help her with choosing clothes for her which was no problem for me so I said yes :) few times I put my hand on her back and gently pushed to leed her through places (Did it before I read your post Ebbe :P) Then we got tired of walking from one store to another so we stopped to take a breath and a drink.. Since she talked about her ex-boyfriend I wanted to test how she would react to if I talked about my ex-girlfriend.. I told her something and suddenly her mood changed from happy, smiling and talkative to silent, gave me a stare as if there was no emotion in her eyes, I don't know how to interpret it. I managed to make her smile again though after few seconds with a joke :P But I don't know, she gently touches my cheek with her fingertips, loves to touch my hair. She lets me touch her.. I happend to catch her staring at me, then when I say "what is it?" she just smiles and says "nothing" And when we were saying good bye to each other she smiled and said "well" and then I said "see ya next time" and hugged her, but her face was kinda like she was waiting for something special..

I can hardly manage to think positiv so I always think that I am over thinking stuff and just give my self false hope and tell my self that she doesn't like me more than a cousin!

Anyway I want your opinion now on these new information if she likes me or not!

I believe she likes me too, but as I said my negative thoughts tells me otherwise :-( But I will continue to flirt with her and have fun :-)

I want to thank you all for the replies and I appreciate your support :-) Thank you!

PS: Sorry that I write down so much :-(

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That all sounds very encouraging BrokenHeart, but the only way you are going to know for sure is to openly tell her how you feel about her, and ask her how she feels about you. It is a big, scary step, but it must be done sooner or later.

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I agree, the time to act is now !  Even though its scary, you should go for it. When you meet her again and the next "but her face was kinda like she was waiting for something special.." moment arrises, dont say anything, just look her deep in the eyes, and slowly go in for the kiss.  When fear holds you back, think about how much you have to gain, and how little you have to lose!

Telling her how you feel would also be a good move, but it might not come out the way you imagine :)  and you might not get a straight answer. The other way will tell you right away how things are.  It seems like the only thing holding her back is the whole social stigma thing, which is silly but very hardcoded in many of us. And by taking the lead, you will give her the chance to go beyond it.

I would give you atleast a 90% chance of succes :) and in the unlikelyhood that she pulls away or says something, you can tell her how you feel and that there is nothing wrong with those kinds of feelings, etc.

As i see it, you are a very lucky man to be in a situation, that many wish they could be. Meaning that the signals she is sending are very clear.

When fear holds you back, just imagine the courage people have shown in 2 world wars, and travelling in giant rockets to the moon. Having no fear is easy, doing something in the face of fear is the greatest thing any of us can do. Use it to give you strength, instead of letting it stop you.

I believe in you, you can do this !  and remember: Do not apologize for the way you feel, be and look confident and sweep her of her feet :)

Good luck.  Ebbe.

(I will be cheering for you, and would love an update whatever may happen)

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BrokenHeart, everything you've said makes it look pretty clear that she has an interest in you...go for it. I actually think you should have given her a kiss (on the cheek) at the end there, instead of just a hug. It shows affection but isn't over the top...she might have been disappointed by you just giving her a hug. I kiss my cousin on the cheek often and we are not as close as you and your cousin seem to be.

Also please keep us updated please and stay in contact with her!

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Hello again, it's been a while since I last updated my love life! How have you all been doing? I got some more information to share!

The signs are pretty clear to me that my cousin if not like me, but has an affection towards me! This one day we went to her home and was bored. After thinking about what to do I found some alcohol in her refrigerator so we decided to drink that up! I got pretty drunk and she was less drunk than me, I started to play with her like playfully pushing her and biting her thighs and legs, tickle her.. She responded the same way! We had fun together, then suddenly without meaning it she slapped me pretty hard and I was so drunk that I fell down hehe, and she said sorry, but I still laid there because I was tired and drunk when suddenly she gently presses on my private area with her foot and then removing it again, she looked into my eyes while she did that! Right after that she sat on top of me on my chest with her legs spread and she playfully slapped me then squeezed my cheek and stood up! Later same day before we went out she said she wanted to change her top so she went to the bathroom, but did not close the door on purpose I believe! I was sitting on the couch and I could clearly see her there and she knew it, I saw it with my peripheral vision while she changed her clothes that she looked at me sometimes so why did she not just close the door, I believe she wanted me to see her upper body naked or with the bra for some reason!

Few weeks ago I went on a trip up to their cottage for a week with her mother, father and herself! She and I had to share a room and more importantly we had to share a bed together! On daytime she is still playfully and stuff like that, but I noticed that she is like that behind her parents back while they are not watching us when they are busy with other things! I remember that I laid on the sofa and she came to me and laid her head on my thigh, she then asked me to play with her hair! Who asks their cousin to play with their hair? If I were a girl I wouldn't ask a cousin to play with my hair nor would I ask an ordinary friend either! Would ask someone special! Anyway I said no problem and so I played with her hair for half an hour.. She was so different there on the trip, I felt like I was her boyfriend and she was my girlfriend. Things she did to me, being so flirtatious and every time she looked in to my eyes and the way she kept touching me it was so special. I remember the first night we slept there she asked me to play with her hair and behind her ear where she loves to be touched she said, I had no problem with that so I did, while I let my fingertips slip from her neck up to her ears she suddenly hugged my hand with her head and shoulder, I asked what was that for, did it tickle? she answered "no, just felt for to do it"..  She then asked me to stroke her back, I said "ok" to that too, and she then complained that her bra was in the way for me to completely stroke her back so she took it off! After taking her bra off she asked me to stroke her back from the inside and not on the outside of her shirt! I felt that she got chills she even said so too and she had goosebumps all over her back and shoulder as I slipped my fingertips gently all around her back up to her shoulders and neck, I also clawed her gently if that is the right word for it, but yeah her back.. I could hear her breathing getting kind of louder and deeper, when I asked her what do you want me to do, she answered with a voice I never heard from her before, so soft and gentle, she said "You can do whatever you want" I also noticed that she could not lie quiet, her thighs and legs moved a lot and I also came to touch the side of her breast unintentionally, but she did not react to that and she was awake since few minutes later I called her name and she responded.. So that's what we did in the bed, I played with her hair, stroke and massaged her back, neck and almost all the way down to her hips..!

This happened not just once or twice, but it happened thrice in other words 3 nights same thing happened! When we were watching a movie she laid her head on my stomack area and her arm around my thighs and watched the movie from there, she also wanted me to play with her hair of course :P And there is so many little stuff she did like sitting next to me on the couch and put her arm around me and gently play with my hair(the part which is close to my ear and neck) and she sat with her ass on my arm when I was sitting on the big leather chair and leaned on me and looked into my eyes and smiled. When we were going back home and we stopped by a mall she grabbed my arm and went into my arm when her parents where walking in front of us and as soon as they turned their heads to us she let my arm go..!!

I'm 90% sure she likes me, but I can't still make my move :( I don't know what is holding me back? Is it those last 10%?

I will tell you what those last 10% are, she talks about her ex sometimes that's ok because I do that too sometimes even though I noticed that she don't like to hear about other girls anymore, since she don't respond to stuff like that anymore like she did before.. She talks about other guys and this one guy she made out on a party where some intimate happened, but not very serious things to hang up on, I did worse things in the past too when I was drunk! Even though this happened while we kinda hang out together and she gave me signs period, but she told me she was very drunk and that she regret it a lot, (ps: she did not give him a bj or anything, he just sucked on her titties)..

And lastly is that we had a fight for few days ago and things went cold between us, I kinda feel that my chances with her are over and that there is a wall there now.. We are going to meet again this weekend, but I am unsure about how things will go from now on :(

Any good advice on what I can do, all I did so far was being myself :) I am so in love with her now after all these recent events that happened between us two that my heart bleeds.. I have a heartache <'3

Thanks in advance :)

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I'm pretty sure she likes you everything that she does points towards that. And also what happened on the week end with you and her?

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Dear Brokenheart, you already know the answer to your question. If she were not your cousin, and she touched you in that same manner, looked into your eyes or flirted with you, would you think that she liked you? I believe she feels the same way. I know what you are going through, because I have had a crush on my cousin since we were 12 years old. And one day we were sitting on my Grandma's porch and I just stared at him, and he saw me and turned to look at me with such an intense stare. That look in his eyes scared me, because in that moment we both knew. We are in  our 40's and married to wonderful people. In your heart you know that she feels the same. Is it worth it? Some fairytales just don't have a happy ending. You can love her from a distance, but you cannot have her.  Believe me, I know:)

I really love your story.

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Please notice the dates on the threads. This one is rather old and the OP hasn't been back

to my knowledge.

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well thats a gud work so far guess she likes u a lot trust me

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OK so I've known my step cousin since I was 8years old she was 4 years old we used to  hang out every weekend have lots of fun.we havent seen each other for 6 years. But I someh feel like were attracted to each other because any time we get an opportunity to  be close to each other. First we start to box dance in then. Any opportunity we had we would be touching.like while on the couch we would hold hands.and at the falls we would box dance in he cave .and when we look at each other we would giggle andshe doesnt mind if we hold hand with each other. It feels like were getting closer everyday what should i do

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I have the same thing, but I'm 16 she is 14. I truley do think you got her. I've cought two instances of her "testing the waters" over the past 2 years. But your stories are amazing.

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Well, a lot of girls in my class talk about me and if they ask me a question they say Mr.? They always ask me things. One time, my girlfriend splashed water at me at the sink. It was kinda funny. My cousin is a girl that always hugs me and is playful with me. She is playful. I am active to study read and do homework in the night sometimes. I'm a fast runner. She is always a bit slower than me.

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I also have a crush on my cousin and I don't know on her side but she used to wear a penty and t-shirt when it gets late that usually happened when the whole family is asleep. But you are lucky you have all the signs unlike me :( I only have that one sign that why does she wear a penty is it for me to be tempted and make a move. To you she touches your hair touches you every parts and hold your hands Man! Believe me she's in to you ,Your side is clear then mine. Good luck man

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