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my cousin loves be but due to age I got a problem.

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Hi I am from south India...to be accurate Tamil Nadhu. I don't want to bring up religion stuffs but if it may help in giving me a solution to my problem I am happy to let u know that I am a Hindu. I have read most of the post but mine is little different from all of it, so I need to say my full story.  sorry for the big post but pls read fully give your opinion - advise . Thanks in advance .

I am 20 years old. I was in relationship wit a girl before two years, actually she was 1year elder then me and we broke after her dad found out about our relationship and just u know about fathers, did the usual stuffs of brainwashing. During our last conversation it went really ugly she said her family is important as I am but she would sacrifice our love for her family good, I really got angry and said her just to leave.... I never talked to her after that....(she tried to contact me but I refused )

I got really upset . Got sick due to stress - got hospitalized - started drinking (it helped me to reduce stress and get sleeps so I went for it) . Then one day I realized she wasn't a girl for me and came back to normal but wit few side-effects ( such as I don't trust girls - don't talk much wit anyone of my friends or family ) but I liked being alone it was better then they way how I was before being drunk most of time trying to find out new ways to die.

But anyway I am much better now and its been two years .

[move](Lets get to the main topic )


I have a cousin her name is Reethu 5 years younger then me and to say truth she's gorgeous.( my mum's younger brother's daughter ).

She usually tries to be close wit me from childhood. Used to follow me where ever I go always used to stick around me a lot .(she lives in my next city 150km away and we usually visit them during holidays - festivals etc)

For the last few years she has been what to say...hmm.... Trying to be getting real and I mean close with me.

Example :

  Tries to sit right next to me while seeing tv.

  Holds my hands just to walk (even inside house :$)

  Just its as if she will do anything for me.

During last year end (Diwali festival) my family went there to celebrate. I was as usual keeping to myself.... Was in another room watching tv (just to avoid my relatives) and Reethu found me. She also sat right next to me. But I didn't care about it . Suddenly I felt she was staring me but wen I looked she wasn't . After a long gap of minutes I turned towards her to ask her he she can pass the pillow next to her. But before I could finish she just HUGGED ME AND KISSED ME.

I didn't know wat to do . I was just in a shock . She ran away . Then I came back to my sense and really didn't care about that kiss . We returned home the next day . My life as usually went :/ in its usuall courses.

During 2k15 starting our family went back to grandma home on a festival. And I made up my mind how to react in case I bump into Reethu . (cause she might be feeling bad about wat happened last time and I felt its my responsibility to act like a matured one) but to my surprise she was normal and I was stunned the way she was as if nothing has happened( it was gud ). So I talked to her as normal and was enjoying the festival . I was back to the room and reethu was already there watching tv . I just grabbed the remote and was switching channels. Suddenly she just grabbed my hand and pulled me over the bed and I lost my control and fell over her. Before she could do anything like last time I just stood up . Sh. Didn't expect it and was having a dull face . She said me she really loves me and other stuffs and started crying . I had no other go had to console her . Then when I thought to leave the room she again grabbed my hand and asked if I too love her .I had no other go but just to say to he about my ex so that she would change her mind. Before I could even finish my story she just slapped me really hard (ouch it really hurt a lot that time) and she said I was lying about this entire ex story and started crying and left the room . I just was shocked for two things that I got slapped by her and that she didn't belive my story. Then I came back to my home. Inbetween my birthday came upon and got a call from her . She wished me and said sorro for wat happened the other day . I didn't know how to react but just said its ok and ended the call .

Last month we went back to her house . She was trying to talk to me and I was actually avoiding but got cornered in terrace . She started talking about her problems at school and about few boys who were troubling her and about many other personnel problems ( she Busted all her problems and I tried to give her easy solutions to them). After that we were teasing each other and I really liked the company of her . (to be exact I was extending the conversation and it went on for hours). Then the next day I paid a visit to few boys those she mentioned and just gave out a warning . I returned home after saying goodbye to her. (after a long time I felt I liked talking wit people and even shared my problems wit her )

She texted me once a week using her mum mobile . We used to chat late nights . I really liked her talking and she was first person I shared my mind after two long years . She said few stuffs such as during childhood we both kissed each other and many others things( I don't remembers those at all).

Then last week I went to visit my uncle and aunt to give few files that my fathers said to give. I stayed there just to spend time wit Reethu. We were talking and talking . Then suddenly she just moved towards me and kiss me. But before she could I stopped her . Before I could say anything she started crying . I didn't know wat the hell to do . I just grabbed her and kissed her . It was really a long kiss and I knew she liked it and when I tried to break up it was really hard.

She just huggedd me back wit tears saying she can't live without me and stuffs. (that really did something to me). I returned home . But I can't stop thinking if I did a big mistake . She is 5 years younger just doing her schooling and its not appropriate as she isn't even mature. And I really can't get into another relationship after what the last one did to me . (I don't want to trust a girl ever again). But the things she said me and the way she just looks at me just makes me feel somewhat. I feel like I want to talk wit her . But 5 years younger seems to be a big problem . I feel as she isn't mature and I tried to explain her this and said to wait her for few years. But she doesn't agree wit it . She says stuffs such as girls are well matured then boys by 2 years and she can marry me as I am her mama(dad's sisters son) and she wants me to be always wit her.

Please I really need help over this situation . What shall I do????  I would really be happy if some one gives me advice and opinion . (yes in India cousin marriage is legal but not parallel cousin marriage )

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you are right. she's not mature.

you, on the other hand, are one of the most mature guys in a situation with a much younger cousin than most who come to post here, because most insist that their 15 year old (or however old they're involved with) is SO mature.


you're wise to be cautious about this. her feelings are so intense right now, but they are going to be intense for many guys before she is your age. take a step back. no more kissing! give her time to grow up some. her feelings for you might remain.... and if you keep your distance now, might even get stronger over time. but right now she's just not ready. and if you get involved now, you're very likely to be hurt again.

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listen, sparki. you're 20. she's 15. you're the adult. she's still a girl.

it's up to you to tell her that you are going to wait, not to ask HER permission to wait! she's young and impetuous and she wants what she wants and she wants it right now. that's normal. like you said, she's not mature yet. so you have to be.

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listen, sparki. you're 20. she's 15. you're the adult. she's still a girl.

it's up to you to tell her that you are going to wait, not to ask HER permission to wait! she's young and impetuous and she wants what she wants and she wants it right now. that's normal. like you said, she's not mature yet. so you have to be.

Thanks you LadyC.... As u adviced I am going to wait until she turns up atleast 18 or maybe 20. Until then just going to maintain some distance between us....I don't care what she might think, this is just for her gud I will try to be the mature one  :undecided: If she decide to move on and forgets about this also I am happy  :angel:

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