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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Helene

Question for you with children

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I have a question for you: you who have children, it has happened to your child been teased because you parents are related? I am 20 years married to my second cousin. We met by chance and did not even know that we were related from the beginning. For me, it never made ​​any difference and nothing I even think of, but now we have a child who is in middle school and I am so afraid that it will come out for his / her sake ... Nowadays, it is so much bullying on the internet, and all gossip spreads everywhere there, and I have read in newspapers about children committing suicide because of being bullied of something on the internet. We live in a small town and some know that I and my husband are second cousins, and now I heard that one of these people talked about this for another relative who now joked with my husband that it is "inbreeding". He told him that he not accepted to hear something like that. Our child know that we are second cousins. Would love to hear your feedback and how you handle this

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people are ignorant. 2nd cousins share as much genetic similarity as totally unrelated people.  but to answer your question, kids are going to bully each other, and they'll find any excuse to do it. what's important is how you teach your child to handle bullying. in regards to THIS issue, it's pretty easy. you arm your child with the truth.

my daughters were 12 and 13 when mark and i married. we lived in a small town. same town, in fact, that my husband and i grew up in. sure there was some teasing. but when we told the girls we were going to marry, we sat down with them and answered all their questions... you know, the ones about inbreeding, about whether it was legal, about what the bible said about it.  we told them the facts. and we told them that there would be people who teased them about it and made fun of them for it.

and then to make sure that happened, we went on national television, on the montel williams show! ok, that's not the reason we went on tv. actually, it kinda helped their situation, because suddenly they were mini-celebrities instead of targets for bullying. but even before we went on tv, it wasn't too big a deal for my kids. they'd been forewarned. they expected to get some teasing, but they knew the facts.  their closest friends knew the facts too. my oldest daughter (then a freshman in high school) was a little spit-fire, and when someone would start making fun of her, she'd use the truth as her weapon of choice and made them feel like the ignorant jerks that they were. they didn't waste many weeks teasing her.

my youngest daughter (still in middle school) handled it differently. she totally ignored them. and again, the teasing didn't last long. see, bullies pick on people for some warped and twisted form of entertainment. they quit when they figure out it's not any fun. and with one of my daughters making them feel stupid, and the other daughter not giving them any reaction, the bullies moved on to someone else in no time at all.

and a bonus was that the oldest one found out that her best friend was the granddaughter of a cousin couple... and my youngest daughter found out that HER best friend's parents were first cousins once removed.

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