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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Rozie

I love my cousin but we are too closely related

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I don't know what to do or who to talk to , my cousin and I are the same age , we've liked each other since we were both 12 . I think my family has a problem with 1st cousin marriages because my dads parents are cousins my parents are cousins and so are his parents . We want to get married but we are both carriers of thalassemia and because we are so closely related there are soooo many risks especially if we have children & I really want children . I would find it really hard to living with the fact that if our children turn out blind or deaf or handicapped it would be our fault but I cant see myself being with anyone else . What if I can't even have a normal pregnancy ? Or if we can't get married because of our parents ( which would be really hypocritical because they are cousins ) . I don't know what to do .

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the easiest solution to this is to get a detailed family medical history (on both sides) together, and consult a genetic counselor. the GC can run blood tests to see if you both carry the gene for thalassemia and for other genetic disorders which may appear in your family; then you will know what your specific risk factor is.

and that doesn't mean you can't marry. if you are both carriers for certain, you can make educated decisions about whether to have children of your own, or whether to adopt, or whether to not marry.

but don't rule out marriage without getting all the information.

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That is so funny because my parents are cousins and my cousins parents are cousins and I love my cousin also. I just can't imagine life without him. I know how you feel and I call him every morning. I say that u should go for it because right now, I do still love him and his words------they make me smile. I am pretty sure that we r going to get married when we're older. We r 3 years apart. Good luck!! :)

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