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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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CousinLove4ever

Which family did you tell first?

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Hi everyone :) I could really use an opinion. My cousin and I have been together just over three years. We have talked about getting married and being together. His family is aware of it, but does not know for sure. My family lives out of state where we are and thinks it's weird how close we are. Which family would you tell first that we are dating/serious relationship? How would you tell them? When you told your family(s) how did it go? Thanks!

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You could write it in a letter in detail, explaining your relationship if it makes it easier for you. Saves possible embarrassment, although there's nothing to be embarrassed about  :smiley:

My cousin told his mom about me, a few know but aren't mad at me or hurt by it. I can't be with him though, he's a gf and kids so it's the way it is but who knows what happens in the future.

nessa76

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Since his family is closest in proximity to you and already has a smattering of an idea that you two might be a couple, I would start there.

For me, my guy told his family when I was there for a visit.  It went something like this:  I was in the house, and his mom (my aunt) and his sister were on the front porch.  He told them he had a new romantic relationship and my aunt's response was, "Is she sitting on my couch right now?".  :smiley: They have been very accepting.

As for my family, I told them all at different times (sister, brother, mom).  And although initially they were very supportive, their behavior the last few months indicates that they really aren't that supportive (i.e., not speaking at all to my guy when we are all out to dinner or at family gatherings).  Que sera, I am happy and if they can't be happy for me, too bad for them. 

Three years is a long time to be in a relationship and not to have indulged the truth to your family.  Go ahead and do it; start with whichever side you think will be the most supportive.  Ultimately, you have to know that the relationship with your cousin has a sure future.  If your relationship with him is shaky, then you would have to question whether of not it's worth stirring up the pot with your families.

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