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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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I just want her to be happy

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I would not want to venture into a relationship with someone who is still dating someone else.  This is just my opinion and how I feel about relationships.  But for me, I want to know, without a doubt, that there's at least the possibility of something long term when I begin to get involved with someone.  As long as she is still involved with her BF, you will never be a priority in her life.  And she did tell you that she didn't think any other guy could make her happier.  As a woman, I wouldn't say that to a man unless, A.  He was my best friend or B.  I wanted to set a boundary with someone and let him know that I'm off limits.

I think at this point you have no option but to back off.  It seems like she's made her choice. 

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Guest prophet11

When she told me that no one can make her happier than her bf it was in regards to a problem I was having with my gf at the time and she was giving me her outlook on her relationship for comparison. I hadnt flirted with her or anything like that it was a normal conversation so she wasn't trying to set a boundary with me by saying that. Also I understand your point but I feel like I want her to know regardless if its possible or not. We can be gone tomorrow for all we know and I would want her to know the truth. The question is does that make me selfish for doing so.

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I agree with SQ.  Don't tell her on a long car ride; could make for one uncomfortable trip.  And if you want to qualify her saying that no one else could make her happy, so be it.  Whatever the reason she said it, she said it. 

It seems that you just want someone to tell you to "go for it". no matter what.

If you want her to know your feelings simply because it will make you feel better - then, I will confess that seems selfish.  Esp considering that she is already in a relationship.  It will make you feel better, but it will complicate things for her.  I really think you know the answer to your question.

Even if she was on the brink of breaking up with her BF, 8 yrs is a long time to be in a relationship, esp one that was begun when she was 14 yrs old! She will need time to heal and get back on her feet again.

If you want to do what's right for her, then back off.  You do not know where this road will lead you.  Perhaps a door will open up for you two to explore a relationship in a few months, maybe she will decide that her current BF is the one and only, maybe you will meet someone else.  Who knows!

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