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Guest Micheal

Cousin n I Fancy eachother, I'm scared...

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So it has been about 9-10 years since my cousin and I have actually talked to each other.

By the way we are both gay, so yeah.

anyways, the only time I saw him was a year or two ago at a Christmas party, I had the intuitive thought he might be gay and hiding it, also over the past couple of years I have wondered if he ever remembered the time him n I experimented together as children and if he did that he must think I'm the biggest weirdo, but mainly as kinds whenever his older brother was visiting he would become a jerk.

just last night I got a message from him out of no where saying he was sorry for how he treated me when we were younger, at first I didn't recognize who it was that was messaging me and a couple of basic questions answered my curiosity.

we began to start re connecting and found we lived very opposite and yet similar lives in which we could connect and understand each other.

I never spoke to anyone about the experience between him n I when we were younger and curious, and it felt a bit awkward, but I asked him if he remembered that day and he said yes and that he always felt that he hurt me when it happened.

I told him that it wasn't his fault and that I had always felt like I was the one who initiated it.

after talking from 1:30am to 5am we both realized we really cared and liked each other, only problem is that he has a bf currently... and that we a cousins...

We wants to take me to dinner and a movie, and when I think of him I feel sick, not because he is my cousin, but mainly because it would be the darkest secret I have had if we went through with things, we both want our relationship to be secret though.

earlier today I felt so depressed because I don't understand why this is happening, I believe in twin souls, and I think he n I may be twin souls, not sure exactly, but my feelings feel soooo strong, heavy and painful... I have had hard crushes before, but this one hurts the most by far, I know that in some life times twin souls are forced to live really hard lives, or blessed to end up together at young ages and stay together for the longest time.

Part of me is saying it might be best to just try to move on and find someone else, another part of me is saying that life might not be as great without him...

idk what to do v.v

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First and foremost if you are both consenting adults then talk it out. Does he feel the same about you? If so why is he still in a relationship with someone else? Other than that I don't see any problem on having an adult conversation about you and his feelings, and then spending time together to build on that.

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