oblivioushanna

In love

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I have posted on here before as a guest about my story. But now I just need advice. I love my cousin very much, he's probably the best thing that has happened to me. He feels the same way but the only difference is I would actually be with him & he always says that we can say whatever & do whatever we want but we can never actually be together because we're cousins. Idk what to do, I've tried getting over him & it's literally impossible. He's perfect in every way.. Any advice?

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Well being in your cousins shoes a year and a half ago, all you can really do is provide him with facts, or at least the resources and let it go from there. If he feels the same about you but says you can't be together because you're cousins then the problem is the social stigma attached to that sort of relationship. Don't push him and just be there for him, with time and research he very well may change his mind. I'm not sure if I read your guest post, but age is a pretty big factor in all of this, taking that risk is a little less stressful the older you are. Hope it turns out good for the both you, best of luck

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quarter25, thank you for the advice. I just don't really see him taking the risk. We still have our whole lives ahead of us, I'm only 17 & he's 16 but it's strong. We both love each other very very much. I just wish things were different between us.

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Well being in your cousins shoes a year and a half ago, all you can really do is provide him with facts, or at least the resources and let it go from there. If he feels the same about you but says you can't be together because you're cousins then the problem is the social stigma attached to that sort of relationship. Don't push him and just be there for him, with time and research he very well may change his mind. I'm not sure if I read your guest post, but age is a pretty big factor in all of this, taking that risk is a little less stressful the older you are. Hope it turns out good for the both you, best of luck

Social stigma is what you can get when your open to others about one being each other's cousin's (lovers).

A lot victim blame too with kids, saying they'd be bullied at school. That's like blaming black kids for having racism thrown at them.

Ignorance is bliss but he very well might change his mind as you said quarter25. Inform him with all the FACTS you can find, that might help him out a lot :smiley:

Good luck anyways

nessa76

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My 2 cents worth. Find and read Hawk's "broken record speech" on here.  He

gives excellent advice and especially due to your ages.

Put  this on the back burner. Become friends and nothing more for the time being.

You are young and "professing your never ending love" now is probably not in your best interest.

Best wishes to you both, but please read Hawk's post. It is in several places on the board. Find it

by searching his member name and posts.

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My 2 cents worth. Find and read Hawk's "broken record speech" on here.  He

gives excellent advice and especially due to your ages.

Put  this on the back burner. Become friends and nothing more for the time being.

You are young and "professing your never ending love" now is probably not in your best interest.

Best wishes to you both, but please read Hawk's post. It is in several places on the board. Find it

by searching his member name and posts.

Here is the link to the broken record speech from Hawk. Scroll down and you will see it oblivioushanna :smiley:

http://www.cousincouples.com/forum/index.php/topic,6576.msg48661.html#msg48661

nessa76

Thanks Girls,

And yeah oblivioushanna, that's one of them, and it covers the gist of it. Your situation sounded familiar, so, I had a peek at your posts, and, noticed where you posted in "Our Story" a reasonably detailed description. I also noticed I gave a little more detailed, sort of "custom tailored" broken record reply. I'm glad you are a little more anonymous and discrete because of it. At any rate, go back and read it again. Show the boy this site, and these threads. Have him sign up, or log in on your account and pm me if he wants. He can speak to me in the strictest of confidence. I may not tell him what he wants to hear, but I'll certainly not BS him on the facts. I will tell him what he needs to hear, AND, how he needs to deal with this if he really does love and care about you. Then again, if he's only looking for a romp in the hay, I'll tell him what I think of that too. He probably won't want to hear it, but, it will be what he needs to hear about it, and I'll not be BSing him in the least on that either. If he wants you in any manner, then his getting here and at least looking at the facts should be the very least of a prerequisite......

And girls, I'm not sure if she's still here. This is for her, in this thread of hers in case she is. But, she's not logged in since about the time of these original threads a month ago. She may or may not be back, but, at least we know we've done our part. I really have to find the time at some point to get a broken record speech worked up for a sticky. I still have the original one I submitted Roma, and if I look, probably your and any of the other mods and admins critique of same. Some of it is a little squirrely, so yeah, I need to polish it up a little. But, even though it is to young members, I don't want to sugar coat it. Even the tweens who find their way here can understand it, and there's nothing beyond PG-13 in it. Even they (and probably especially those that young) should hear it, and know full well what they potentially face before they find out the hard way, and are separated, potentially forever, or at least until they decide to get on the tracks and cause a trainwreck. I don't want to hear any more trainwreck stories..... 

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