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tangleweb15

3rd Cousin

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Good evening! This is my first post. I never thought I would find myself on this site, but here I am. I'm really glad I found it.

My 3rd cousin sent me a message on FB. It was nice to hear from him since I truly do not know him. During our conversation it took a different turn. I'm a very open minded person so I wasn't offended. We exchanged phone numbers and have been talking & texting non-stop for weeks. We have so much in common with each other! He has asked me twice about us dating. The first time I thought he was joking, but he wasn't. I'm not sure how his mom would feel about us dating. My immediate family has NO clue who he is, since we are not close to that side of the family and they have never met him.

We never grew up together, never been to any family functions, absolutely no contact. He is 12 years younger than I am. My grandfather and his grandfather were brothers.

I'm just wondering how difficult can it be to date a cousin? Any suggestions? I have not been in this situation before.

Thanks!

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Good morning.

   First off you are second cousins not third.  You share about the same DNA as any unrelated random couple.

There is nothing that is illegal about dating or marriage anywhere. Not even biblical.

Is it difficult?  Mainly only if you make it. The main thing to remember is that you are both human and

are subject to any and all the same ups and downs any other couple would face.  Being "family" doesn't make you

immune from them.  I am married to my second cousin for over 11 years now. No one has to know your relationship unless you tell them.

   

   How family would react is anyone's guess.  Do your families not see each other due to conflict or just not close?

You don't have to answer that, just asking for thought.  The age difference may or may not be something to

think about.  Like is he a minor, are both of you of age, are there other relationship factors to consider ie. one or the

other either married or in LTR?  Only you have the answers to these questions.   If the feelings are mutual and you aren't

afraid to test the waters, then I say go for it.  Build a friendship as you go along. And best wishes.

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Thank you for the replies.

I don't understand the kinship chart and all that.

We are both of age. I'm 45 and he is 34.

Family is just not close. I wouldn't know that side of the family if I passed them on the street.

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your grandfather and his were brothers.... that makes your parent and his first cousins, and makes the two of you 2nd cousins.  don't let yourself worry about what family might think. there is nothing at all wrong with you two persuing a relationship or even getting married. you've lived enough life experience to deserve being happy. as long as neither of you aren't already married to someone else, then be happy!

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