• Announcements

    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
minime

35+ years and going strong!

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

25 posts in this topic

Did mostly petting from ages 12-19 then had actual sex every few years.  Did a lot of sneaking around when we were younger but now don't have to.  We've actually lived 1 1/2 hours apart for the past year and have done nothing but flirt.  (Childhood I lived 6 hours away and saw him a few times a year).

He's the sexiest guy I've ever been with.  He makes me nervous.  He's my better than usual friend.  We take turns cancelling a get-together.  "I don't know how to love him"--lol

ps--He's always talking about having One Big Night where no one is looking for us to have sex. This is not in my imagination as some others here seem to be. I'm 49 and he's 50.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome.

You are both definately old enough to decide if you want to be together or not.

As long as neither of you are married to someone else or in a LTR then I say  go do as you see fit for the

both of you.  If "One Big NIght of Sex" is all he wants and that is not on your agenda then I would

definately do some soul searching about the situation between the two of you.

Best wishes and keep in touch.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Romalee. He gets my unconditional love but not my romantic love.  Does that make sense? My gram raised him so I believe in his love but I also know he treats his women like shit so I like being on the sidelines.  But always there!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it  were me I would stay on the sidelines.  I get the difference in the unconditional love and the romantic love.

Just let him know the sex thing is off the table, unless you are ready for heartache, notice I didn't say heartbreak.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

35 years and going strong? just curious minime... how many of those 35 years have been spent in a marriage to someone else? 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Neither one of us has ever been married. I'm past menopause so sex would be more of a gift for him than a necessity for me.  :cheesy:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Neither one of us has ever been married. I'm past menopause so sex would be more of a gift for him than a necessity for me.  :cheesy:

then perhaps i misjudged you. after all, your previous posts elsewhere certainly implied that you were married and enjoying a 35 year relationship with your cousin on the side. i think a little clarification from you would go a long ways. because frankly, i'm getting very tired of what appears to be your endorsement and encouragement for infidelity.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I apologize! I think that in the event one of us gets married we won't let that stop us is no reason to judge us.  I don't think sleeping with a cousin would constitute cheating on either one of our parts but we've never been in that position.  Perhaps because we like each other more than others!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

then perhaps i misjudged you. after all, your previous posts elsewhere certainly implied that you were married and enjoying a 35 year relationship with your cousin on the side. i think a little clarification from you would go a long ways. because frankly, i'm getting very tired of what appears to be your endorsement and encouragement for infidelity.

I'd also like to state for the record that if either one of us marries we would not consider it cheating to be with each other.  Sleeping with cousins is wrong and we all deal with it in our different ways.  It probably is the best way to deal with cousin love and I'm sorry you find it offensive.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd also like to state for the record that if either one of us marries we would not consider it cheating to be with each other.  Sleeping with cousins is wrong and we all deal with it in our different ways.  It probably is the best way to deal with cousin love and I'm sorry you find it offensive.

i have sent a response to the pm you sent me. 

many people come here thinking that because we are supportive of cousin relationships, that we value them above marital relationships. that is not the case. we do not encourage others to commit adultery. you have done that in at least one other thread. that's not acceptable. 

however, i do not understand your comment that sleeping with cousins is wrong. since you don't think adultery is wrong, your opinion does not seem to be a biblical one... or even a legal one. i've asked you in my pm to share why you think that. if you would like to share it publically as well, this would probably be a good enough place to do so, because i suspect you're going to have a few others asking.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an atheist--God's laws don't enter it at all.  It is a crime to be with your first cousin in most states.  I've gone about things differently than others. I think my opinion should be welcome.

I'm sure there are very few cousin relationships that have lasted over 35 years here.  I think I have a lot to offer and hope your not approving of my posts doesn't mean I'm not welcome.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an atheist--God's laws don't enter it at all.  It is a crime to be with your first cousin in most states.  I've gone about things differently than others. I think my opinion should be welcome.

I'm sure there are very few cousin relationships that have lasted over 35 years here.  I think I have a lot to offer and hope your not approving of my posts doesn't mean I'm not welcome.

see that's where you are wrong. it is NOT a crime to be with your cousin in most states.

MARRIAGE between first cousins is illegal in half the states, but consensual sex between cousins is LEGAL in the majority.  

i don't know if anyone else has been together for 35+ years, but there are many long term marriages and/or relationships here. i've been married to mine for nearly 17 years, together for 18.

now, if i had not "approved" your posts, they would have been deleted and not seen by the public.  approving posts and agreeing with your opinions are two very different things. you are welcome here as long as you (a) do not encourage marital affairs as you seem to have done in at least one other thread, and (B) never again call me (or any other staffer) "sweetheart" or anything else demeaning. piss me off and you might find yourself on the other side of the welcome mat and we'll never bother to find out if you have anything valuable to offer.

on that note, i think it would do you some good to stick around. there is a lot you could learn from this site.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's wrong with cheating on a spouse with a cousin?  Most couples have that 'list' of people that don't really count as cheating.  I've made it work for 35 years. I hope some people can learn from what I have to offer.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been off the grid for a little while now:  working too much and then getting my kids off to college in different states has had me running non-stop.  But when I come back to this group and see a statement like the one from minime, I am flabbergasted.

What's wrong with using a cousin to cheat on your spouse? And most couples have a list of people that don't really count as cheating? 

Cheating is cheating, whether you are sleeping with a friend, a guy you picked up at the bar or your cousin. 

You seemed to have picked this forum merely to raise some eyebrows.

As far as "being" with somebody for over 35 years.  What you have with your cousin does not constitute a relationship by any stretch of the imagination:  petting and sex when you were younger, flirting for the past 6 years and you both make excuses not the see each other.  Doesn't sound like much to me.  There are plenty of us that had flirtations with our cousin when we were younger, maybe even some physical intimacy, and then made a commitment to one another as adults.  This would be me.  We may have waited 30 years to jump over the "cousin hurdle", but it's been well worth the wait. 

If you want to attach pride to flirting with a man for 35 years and believe that what you have with him is some kind of accomplishment, that is fine.  But don't hold it up as some kind of banner of virtue and expect anyone to be impressed.  Come back in 20 years when you have built a life with him, overcome obstacles together and worked to make each other's lives better.  Then I might be impressed with your commitment to a relationship.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

minime, you're not even married, nor is your cousin. so what do you mean that you've "made it work" for 35 years doing so? and no, "most" people don't have a "list" of who does not count as cheating. LOL, if a person is married, ANY person besides who they are married to counts as cheating.

tell me... if you were married, would you tell your spouse that you were having sex with your cousin? and if the answer to that is 'no', then why not? afraid your husband would think he was being cheated on?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't pick this forum to raise eyebrows.  I thought I found a place where my 'major secret' of my life could be shared.  What he has done for me, for my self-esteem, is beyond belief.

Just looking for friends. Not to offend anyone.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you haven't answered the question. and that question is not about raised eyebrows, it's about trying to understand what you are saying. you said 'what is wrong with cheating on a spouse' and 'i've made it work for 35 years'. and yet you've said that neither you nor your cousin is married. 

what do you mean? if neither of you is married, how have you made cheating on a spouse with each other work for 35 years?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are really into that married thing aren't you?  Was never married.  Neither was he.  Would not consider it cheating if either one of us was in a LTR.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YOU are the one that keeps saying that there is nothing wrong with cheating on a spouse. and YOU are the one that keeps saying you have made it work for 35 years.

i am just asking you to clarify what the heck you're talking about. if you've never been married, how have you made cheating work? i've asked you about a hundred times now for clarification. you seem too scatterbrained to answer.

in any case, do not encourage people, as you have previously, to cheat on their spouses. why would you even do that since you have never been married, anyway? what possible motive could you have to encourage others who are to be unfaithful?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's wrong with cheating on a spouse with a cousin?  Most couples have that 'list' of people that don't really count as cheating.  I've made it work for 35 years. I hope some people can learn from what I have to offer.

Really? "Most"?  Where do you get this figure? Is this based on some research you conducted or at the very least read? Hold on a sec while I ask my wife if she would consider it cheating if I slept with her sister... OUCH! Nope, I guess we don't fit into the "most" mix (for the record, I didn't actually ask her that as it would consider it disrespectful to both ladies, even done in jest).

Okay, so you eschew a Christian world view. Of course that is your prerogative. In that case, marriage is totally irrelevant and you can sleep with all of the consensual (of age) individuals you like and if any other person, husband, wife, child, cat, or dog, doesn't like it, you can gleefully tell them to pack sand.  On the other hand, expect that many of us who claim that orderly society requires a certain set of mores to function will recoil and judge you and have very unkind things to say about your actions.  Welcome to real life, kiddo (a few years younger than you but I'll let your lack of wisdom count as the ignorance of undeveloped youth).

20+ years in holy matrimony and going VERY strong...

CM

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think that most cousin relationships happen outside of a normal relationship--whether it's in addition to or just on the down low. 

I'm not advocating cheating on a spouse but I (and mine) would not consider it cheating.  Of course we would not tell our respective spouses--WERE WE EVER TO GET MARRIED TO ANYONE.  Has it occurred to anyone that part of why neither one of us has gotten married is because we'd end up cheating?  I haven't found anyone I like enough to not sleep with my cousin for.

Scatterbrained?  Whatever.  Still waiting to hear where it was I claimed to be married.  Plus--forwarding pms that are sent in an attempt to handle things like adults?  Sounds like high school to me---except there were no computers when I was in high school! lol

We do have a relationship of sorts--at least more of one than a lot of these crushes are.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think that most cousin relationships happen outside of a normal relationship--whether it's in addition to or just on the down low.  

I'm not advocating cheating on a spouse but I (and mine) would not consider it cheating.  Of course we would not tell our respective spouses--WERE WE EVER TO GET MARRIED TO ANYONE.  Has it occurred to anyone that part of why neither one of us has gotten married is because we'd end up cheating?  I haven't found anyone I like enough to not sleep with my cousin for.

Scatterbrained?  Whatever.  Still waiting to hear where it was I claimed to be married.  Plus--forwarding pms that are sent in an attempt to handle things like adults?  Sounds like high school to me---except there were no computers when I was in high school! lol

We do have a relationship of sorts--at least more of one than a lot of these crushes are.

forwarding pms? what are you talking about? in the first pm i sent to you, i TOLD you that i was cc'ing it to the other administrators (not mods, but admins), gave you their names, and explained why i was doing so. you think that sounds like high school? you, dear, sound like you belong in 8th grade. you have encouraged people in at least one other thread (and i called you on it within that thread) when you encouraged the poster to carry on an affair on the side. you've stated repeatedly that you have handled your relationship "on the side" for 35 years. THAT is what i continually asked for clarification of, since you also claimed not to be married. 

you said you had lots to offer here. actually, you don't have anything of value to offer. not at this site. this site encourages monogamous relationships, not infidelity. it covers all the ground concerning the legitimacy of cousin marriage... and it is legal to marry in MOST of the world, including half of the US. you seem hell bent on keeping your flame burning by way of maintaining its taboo. that's not what we're about here.

i am going to give you the opportunity to read this. and then i'm going to revoke your membership. nothing sneaky, all up front. you will be removed. i could do so without bothering to give you an explanation, and i could do so without giving you the opportunity to respond.  i would be well within my rights to do so. and i have no idea why i'm giving you special consideration. perhaps it is because i sincerely made more than one effort publically and via pm to get you past the stigma you seem so content to keep attached to consanguineous relationships. or perhaps it's just for my own amusement. i'm not going to try and psycho-analyze my motives. but there you have it. the heads up that by day's end, you will no longer be welcome here.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think that most cousin relationships happen outside of a normal relationship--whether it's in addition to or just on the down low. 

I'm not advocating cheating on a spouse but I (and mine) would not consider it cheating.  Of course we would not tell our respective spouses--WERE WE EVER TO GET MARRIED TO ANYONE.  Has it occurred to anyone that part of why neither one of us has gotten married is because we'd end up cheating?  I haven't found anyone I like enough to not sleep with my cousin for.

Scatterbrained?  Whatever.  Still waiting to hear where it was I claimed to be married.  Plus--forwarding pms that are sent in an attempt to handle things like adults?  Sounds like high school to me---except there were no computers when I was in high school! lol

We do have a relationship of sorts--at least more of one than a lot of these crushes are.

To the first point - well, without any evidence to support that claim, it's just irrelevant.

To the second point, *if* two cousins happened to get married to other people but maintained a SECRET sexual relationship with each other, I'm quite sure the spouses would consider it cheating, hence it *is* cheating, quite apart from what the cheaters consider it to be.

As for why you haven't gotten married to others or each other, I could only speculate on the reason but I'm quite sure you wouldn't like my conclusion.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0