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Hope8

Dreams

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So it's been over a month since I stopped talking to my cousin who broke my heart twice. Long story short, he basically left me for his ex but what hurt me the most was that he lied to me about it... again. If he would have just came out to me and told me they were talking again and that they were thinking about getting back together I would have understood because first of all he could have a real relationship with her and not be judged and also they live a lot closer to each other than we do. Of course I would have been hurt about it if he would have told me but the fact that he lied to me for the second time really pissed me off. Now I hate him and I never want to see him again.

But last night I dreamt of him. I had a dream that I saw him again and he introduced me to his gf, the one he left me for. In the dream I felt really sad but I was trying my best not to let him see just how much it killed me to see him with someone else. Idk why I even dreamt of that but I wish I hadn't. I was doing so good of not thinking of him until this stupid dream. I just hope that I don't have anymore dreams like this because then I wont ever want to fall asleep  :laugh:

P.S. Sorry if this was kind of random I just wanted to get it off my chest.  :rolleyes:

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I know the feeling. I literally dream of my cousin every night even if I don't want to because it hurts me so much more and it always makes me cry. I don't know how will I move on from what happen to us so with this as an additions... Ugh..

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It is sad and also makes me cry. I just hate the way everything turned out between us. Not only did I lose the only guy I ever loved but also a great cousin. Before things got complicated between us, we were pretty close as cousins. And now we're back to being strangers. Dreaming about him isn't helping things at all either because then I think back to the good times I shared with him and how much I cared for him. How right it felt and how comfortable I felt being with him. Ugh it just hurts.  :cry:

When we first stopped talking, which was last February, I would always dream about him calling or texting me and then one day he did. So now I'm scared that I will meet up with him again and have to meet the lucky girl who has the only thing I want... him. I know I'll eventually see him again because after all we are family but I just hope I have someone by that time so I wont feel that hurt about it.

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I also know the feeling he dumped me a month after he met me with my best friend at a party they used 2 date b4 he was wiv me and he neva told me tht he was going 2 see her again and she neva told me neither. and then the following day I had a dream tht him and my best friend were at a party tht I had invited them 2 and she told me tht he was her bf and I went 2 the toilet and cried ( juss a dream) then the following day I went 2 a party (a real party) tht he throwed and I saw my best friend there and I asked wat she was doing there she said tht she's dating him and I fainted from tears :cry:

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shazzy101,

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people don't get how their actions can hurt others. I just hate how some people can get exactly what they want and not care about the people they hurt in the process. I keep thinking of how happy my cousin must be to get his ex back and not be lonely or feel the hurt that I did and I'm over here crying myself to sleep. It's weird how dreams can actually become reality. Some dreams I wished would come true and other I pray to God they don't lol.

I seriously can't believe your friend did that to you, to be honest that's pretty messed up. Are you still friends with her? Just wondering

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Hope, at the risk of sounding like a heartless bitch, I think you are better off without him. He's lied to you twice about his relationship with his ex, and I'll bet that he's lied to her about his relationship with you. I dare say that his only concern is his happiness, and hurting others is just incidental to him.

You're going to hurt for a while, but you will get over this

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I totally agree with you Scorpion Queen, I am WAY better off without him. He's caused me enough heartache already and I will not allow him to hurt me anymore. I haven't talked to him for a while now and I don't plan to. If he ever tries to get back in touch with me again I am going to turn him down in a heartbeat, although I doubt that will ever happen. He did lie to his ex about being with me and denied making plans with me when he clearly made the same plans with her as well. He is very selfish and I actually feel kind of sorry for this girl because I wont doubt that he'll do it again.

I'm already starting to get over it. I just hope that I will soon find my perfect guy, the one that actually deserves me  :azn:

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*hugs* There are about 7 billion people on this planet and about half of those are male. Somewhere in the 3.5 billion is one that you deserve, and who deserves you!

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Thanks  :smiley: I know I'll find my perfect guy one day so for now I'm just going to finish school and focus on myself and then I'll deal with guys later. I just can't wait till I meet a guy that deserves me as much as I deserve him, I wish I could meet him right now lol  :laugh:

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I think some dreams can for-tell the future...

The reason I say this is because a few nights ago I had a dream that I was talking to my cousin again. He's going to the Marine's so I had a dream that he would send me letters and pictures of him in Iraq or somewhere. I remember feeling like I was falling in love with him again in the dream. I hated the dream but yet I liked it at the same time. I'll admit I miss him and miss the memories we shared together but I don't want him to hurt me anymore.

So anyways, today I just got a message from him asking me if I would want to start talking again and if not he would understand. Recently I found out that the girl he left me for left him only weeks after things ended between us. So I think he's just lonely and thinks he can fall back on. He says he just wants to talk as cousins and yes I miss talking to him so much and a part of me wants to start talking to him as just cousins again but another part of me is afraid that I'll let my feelings get the best of me and fall back in love with him and then he'll end up hurting me again.

I'm dealing with so many mixed emotions right now, I don't know what to do. There's a war going on between my head and my heart but who should I let win? I'm so lost and torn right now, I would really appreciate some advice right now... please.        :undecided:

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Same situation here but the difference is we are not talking anymore my cousin hates me and I still truly love my cousin. I guess you should take time to heal first. I understand that you love him and all but at this point your love for him is hurting you. You might satisfy yourself by having a communication with him again but you're going to rip your heart in the process 1 because you still desire to be in a true romantic relationship again and it seems like this is not what he truly wants (you don't deserve to be a rebound, not to anyone) and 2 it seems that you're heart can't trust him again, not yet. Explain this to him. Tell him that you're not bitter, that you're still there for him but you just need to heal first, to find yourself again.

You can't start a fire in the pouring rain.

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Thank you so much! I feel so relieved right now.

I totally agree with you. I need to heal first before I even start talking to him again. I can't have feelings for him when we begin to talk again because then it will be a lot easier to communicate with him because of the fact that I wont have feelings for him... but is it possible to lose feelings for someone?

Btw: I'm sorry your cousin feels that way about you... I'm sure in time your cousin will forgive you  :smiley:

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122107,

Ah, but you CAN start a fire in the pouring rain. But, to do so, you must be prepared, with dry tinder and kindling. It must be protected from direct rain, with a tarp or covering of some sort. Once that is going, small pieces of wet twigs. Then, larger limbs. Then even larger limbs and smallish branches. Once there is a bed of coals, you can add a wet log, and from there, two or three, and so on. The "baby steps" method of approaching a problem comes into play. Learn that methodology.

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Hawk,

This one made me think, and yes some people can start a fire in the pouring rain. But I still wonder though, if one can start a fire while the other is not cooperating and instead he/she is pouring rain. I think this was also my point to Hope8.

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