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Lala

Need to share, need to vent. 😩😩😩

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I just want to share... Me and my cousin had been in a relationship for 8 years. We even had 2 boys. My parents doesnt know about our relationship. Only his mother knows and his siblings know about us, though his mother is still hesistant about us. It was just last year that i ended our relationship but i still love him and i miss him so much. I could not see myself with another man. In fact i tried to have a relationship with another man but it felt so wrong. Supposedly this year would be our 9th year. currently i am working overseas and our children are with him but i know time will come i will take my children from him. It pains me thinking that the plan we had before like move to a place where no one will know us so that we could be together with our children and live happily will not be pushing through. Our family for one is a hindrance and i can't bear hurting my parents for that matter. Now, im so confused. I just want to think that maybe in the future we will be together. In a month time im going to go back home and see my children. And im sure he will be there. I don't know what would i do if i see him. God! If only i could shout out to the world how i feel about him

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If your kids are with him of course you'll see him, right?  I'm in the minority here but I don't see anything wrong with keeping things discreet if you don't want to upset family.

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Whatever your parents think about your relationship is meaningless:  You are a grown woman who has been in a relationship with this man for 8 years and you have two children with him. You cannot worry about hurting your parents and you cannot let their reactions dictate decisions for your life. 

What does matter is trying to see if you can reconcile with him.  You don't indicate what made you leave him, and that is fine.  If it's something that you did - then apologize and reach out to him.  If it's something he did, then try to broach the subject with him and see if you two can clear the air.  You have to treat this like any other break up; if you want to get back together then you are going to have to take steps in that direction.

Since he has the children, I would say there's a 100% chance of seeing him again. You're gonna have to handle it like an adult.

I know you didn't ask about this, but I'm going to say it anyway: For the sake of your children, can the two of you not live in the same country at least?  This arrangement must be hard on your kids.  And when you say that you're going to take your children from him...wow, that's a harsh thing to say.  I'm sure you mean that the kids will come and live with you for a while now, but your kids need both parents in their lives.  Perhaps working together for the good of the children can help to heal your relationship.

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Thank you for your insights... To answer few of your questions... We currently live in different country so our distance caused so much arguements between us. Last year was a very difficult stage of our relationship. Almost everyday we argue on nonsense things, sometimes we argue about our financial situation. Most of the time he was the one complaining. So basically i got tired.

When i said that i will take the children from him it means my children will be not be on his custody. We talked about this long before we broke up. As for staying in the same country for the sake our children, we already thought about it before we ended our relationship. All was planned for our little family but i guess things had to happen. Though i am not closing my doors for the possibility of reconciliation but i think we have to grow apart at this point in time.

I might be posting our whole story on this board... Thank you

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Thank you for your insights... To answer few of your questions... We currently live in different country so our distance caused so much arguements between us. Last year was a very difficult stage of our relationship. Almost everyday we argue on nonsense things, sometimes we argue about our financial situation. Most of the time he was the one complaining. So basically i got tired.

When i said that i will take the children from him it means my children will be not be on his custody. We talked about this long before we broke up. As for staying in the same country for the sake our children, we already thought about it before we ended our relationship. All was planned for our little family but i guess things had to happen. Though i am not closing my doors for the possibility of reconciliation but i think we have to grow apart at this point in time.

I might be posting our whole story on this board... Thank you

I wrote this by the way.. I thought i was still logged on...

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