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Making a baby..

12 posts in this topic

Hope this one makes you laugh!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.

Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be

here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened

to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he

said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting

you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know

babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,

and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.

You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try

several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure

you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and

out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby

pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother

was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done

right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The

mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and

when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels

began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,

uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we

can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big

to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted

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ROFL that was just hilarious! i gotta make mark read it!

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LOVED IT!  Made my day  :laughter:

Hope this one makes you laugh!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.

Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be

here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened

to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he

said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting

you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know

babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,

and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun.

You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try

several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure

you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and

out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby

pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother

was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done

right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The

mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and

when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels

began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,

uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we

can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big

to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted[/size][/color]

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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.

Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be

here soon."

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I dont get it. Is the photographer her cousin and they get married as they are cousins?

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