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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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baliber

Parent trouble

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My cousin and I have been dating for a year now and my mother seems to feel that she can tell whoever whenever that my cousin and I are dating . It's just plain embarrassing. Yes I love my girlfriend with all my heart and yes she is my cousin but my mother should just keep her mouth shut . I have asked her to do so and she said that she doesn't have to .I really need advice.

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unfortunately, if she won't respect your wishes, there's really nothing you can do. we can't control other people's behavior. does she do this in front of you? or just in general whether you are there or not?

have you asked her why she does this? trying to figure out the why might make it easier to get her to realize she's doing it... because she might not realize. for instance, is she telling people because she thinks it's freakish and she just likes to gossip? or is she doing it because she absolutely adores your girlfriend and is proud to tell people that you are dating her? i remember when we told my parents, my dad actually said "well at least you're marrying someone from a good family!" maybe that's how your mom feels.  kinda like the fact that you share the same bloodline is some sort of stamp of royal approval, like a pedigree or something.

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While not the same the realivence is,  when I was pregnant with my second child I wanted to keep it quiet. (we tried for 3 years and spent thousands, we were very gaurded).  My mother told everyone, completely ruined so many things  I can not ever get back.  The truth is, she does not only not respect you or your relationship .. she lacks respect for the situation. 

Space, it is a great freedom. By that I mean miles and many of them between you two and her. 

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Maybe your right Christine, she doesn't respect the situation but she's obviously not embarrased by it. Just a shame she's embarrasing you though baliber! You could ask her why she tells everyone but you might not like what she says, or you might!

nessa76

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