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julesverne103

First cousins falling in love

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So, my cousin and I haven't seen each other in 25 years, he confesses to me that he had a crush on me when we was young. After reconnecting and after continuous chatting, we have come to realize we might be falling in love. We was never close to begin with, didn't see him as a cousin but more like a friend. We weren't raised together or anything like that. To us it's like a man and a woman falling in love, to others in the family...it could be devastating. I'm worried...thoughts anyone?

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julesverne103,

It is perfectly legal for the two of you to pursue this in South Carolina, which is where your have listed as your location in your profile. If you two have been estranged for 25 years, you are plenty old enough to try this out, and see just how deep it goes, PROVIDED you two are both available. If so, just go for it and ignore the drama. If it starts, just ask them "What would you say if we were to go down to the Courthouse, get the license LEGALLY, go to ANY Christian denomination's church, and get married in front of God and man? ALL LEGAL, AND SCRIPTURAL.....  How would you argue with that, honestly?" One of two things will happen. Either you will be able to hear a pin drop, OR, you won't be able to make sense of the first word for all the wailing and gnashing of teeth. You are hoping for the silence, but the freaking out will tell you much more about who is reasonable and who is not.......... :wink:

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julesverne,

My cousin and I have just recently told our families and our closest friends about our relationship (my friends knew I was seeing someone but did not realize we were 1st cousins).  I particularly was worried about reactions from my teenage children and my mom, but all my worries were for naught.  My oldest daughter (18 yrs old)  still thinks it's "weird" but she has seen the positive effect this relationship has had on me and is genuinely happy for me.  I have received overwhelming support for my cousin relationship.

Not knowing the particulars of your family situation, I could in no way predict how your family will react.  I do know that you are old enough to make your own decisions about who you are romantically involved in.  My cousin and I waited  2 months to let the cat out of the bag.  We had decided that even though we would love it if our families accepted the relationship, we were not going to let their opinions be the deciding factor. 

You might wait and test the waters of the relationship for a while before you decide if you want to say anything to family.  But when/if you do, you may be surprised how how they react.  I definitely was!  I worried about my family's reaction (esp my children's) and in the end I realized that I did not have anything to worry about.

And like Hawk said, don't proceed any further if either of you are married or in a committed relationship.  Otherwise, go for it and enjoy the blossoming of new love. 

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Sounds almost to the letter my own story.

The short version? After 3 weekends together & countless hours long phone calls we decided to throw caution (and our lives) to the wind and she moved nearly 3,000 miles to move in with me (I had real estate investments, businesses, etc. and lived much closer to the family) and we became a 'couple' openly.

It's now been nearly 6 years since then. We constantly look at each other and say something like "it's been how long??!!".

Just the other morning, snuggled in bed on a rainy morning, realize,d that in all that time, neither one of us has had even a SINGLE angry word with the or at the other.

Life is good!!!!

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I have been in an on and off relationship with plenty of women in my life. It is safe to say that not one makes me feel happy like my cousin. I am almost 30 and not happy enough yet. We talked about marriage before and got our blood tested to see if it was different enough for it to be safe.

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