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Guest Shh

Who can I confide in

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Shh,

You can confide in us. So, what's going on? Speak freely, but, use initials or change the names if you would please. I want us all to be anonymous here....

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Uncle KC will listen. Here: head on my shoulder. Let's start from the beginning.

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I would like share my story here, as I'm in need of some advice.  It all started 20 years ago, when I first fell madly in love with my first cousin.  I was only 16 at the time and he was around 35.  We never grew up together, as we had always lived in different countries.  We certainly knew of each other's existence, but really knew very little of one another.  The feeling is difficult to describe, but we felt a spark and a strong connection from the very moment we met.  It was love at first sight.  He came over to visit us here in Australia for a holiday, as he lived (and still lives) in Italy.  We wanted to be together at every moment, but I was underage at the time, so my parents were quick to show their disapproval.  It was obvious he had a thing for me, and he wasn't very discreet about it.  Those two weeks he spent here had a huge impact on me, and when he had to go back home, I was devastated.  Although we never forgot each other, I still don't understand why nothing was done for us to be reunited, and why we got so scared of what the family would think.

To cut a long story short, the years flew by and we got on with our own lives and dated other people.  Apart from only one other man, no other man ever had the same effect on me, not even the one I was supposed to marry.  We stayed in touch on the phone, and reconnected a couple of times when I went back to Italy for a vacation in 2010 and 2011.  By the middle of 2011, he was going through a nasty break up.  We reconnected and this was the first time we also slept together.  

Other jealous cousins and nasty relatives who had found out, went out of their way to make me feel guilty and made me feel dirty.  I was treated like a tramp, and was told that only whores slept with their cousins.  He got upset with me for confiding in the wrong people, so we had a fall out and didn't speak for two years.  Then, he contacted me on Facebook just out of the blue.  Hearing from him again made me the happiest woman on earth, so we had a beautiful reconciliation and we became closer than ever for the next two years.  My mother, to this day, is one of the few people who don't know anything about our relationship, and would be absolutely devastated if she ever found out.

I went back there last year on vacation.  He was single at the time, and we spent a beautiful and romantic time together, away from the family.  In fact, no one from the family knew I had gone back over there to see him.

Unfortunately, I had to return home.  We were still close for some time, until he met a new woman, who is vicious and vindictive, and very jealous.  He went through a physical illness and a complete change in character, and grew distant.  He told me to never contact me again, as his new fiancee is jealous and knows everything about me.  I don't know why he had to tell her about me.  She checks his Facebook page constantly, and has made him delete women whom she perceives as a threat to her.  She most definitely sees me as a threat, and a few months back, she sent me a very nasty and vulgar message on Facebook, calling me a whore, and that only whores sleep with cousins.  I know for a fact that he has married this awful woman just to fill a void, and I just can't accept that our love has ended in this way...

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well all those people who say nasty things about cousins are uninformed. try not to let their nasty words affect you too much. that being said, your cousin has asked you not to contact him anymore. as much as it hurts, you have to respect his request.

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