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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Mark John W

I have a major crush on my cousin and need advice

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Guest Mark John W

Hello everyone! This may be long but I feel that this is the only place where I can talk about this and not be judged so forgive me!

I am a 23 year old male, me and my direct family (parents and siblings) lived in a different country than where all of my cousins and relatives live (they live in the US). When I turned 18 I decided to move to the US where most of my relatives live to go to college here in the US. At the time I was new to the country and lived at my grandma's house while attending community college, fast forward 3 years later, I was able to transfer to a 4 year university which was out of town and away from the city where my grandma and my relatives lived. While I was attending that school, my grandma passed away. after that, every time i visited, I would stay at my aunts house. Over the next 2 years I uncontrollably developed a major crush on my Aunts daughter, AKA my cousin.  I eventually graduated college and decided to temporarily live at my aunts house, until i decide what my next step in life would be. I stayed at my aunts house for about 3 months, after which, I decided to attend Grad school (which is what I am doing right now), my feelings were getting stronger and stronger through the 3 months I stayed at their house. My cousin, let's call her C, and I were pretty close (nothing romantic though), just close friends. But my feelings would not go away, so i decided to do something about it, but before I introduce the idea to my cousin C, I wanted to let my aunt know how I feel and see how she would react (Me and my aunt are very close friends as well), so I did, she was surprised at first but eventually said that she wouldn't mind it as long as C was okay with it, In fact, she really liked the idea to the point were she would give me advice on what to do. After the 3 months, I moved away for Grad school, and tried to stay in touch with my cousin as much as possible, I would give her hints every time i got a chance, I sent her many love songs, and only once she sent me a song back which really made me happy. I kept on sending her hints for the next 4 months (While i was away for grad school), until today, today I decided to just rip the band-aid off and confess to her how I felt. So I did, I told her that I like her and I have feelings for her. Her response was that, she had a feeling that something was going on and now she knows what it is, and that she thinks it is too early to be thinking about things like this (again, she is 18 now and i am 23). she also said that she wants things to stay the way they are. It kinda broke my heart, but I promised her that nothing will change, and i will treat her the same way i did before i confessed to her about my feelings. My aunt later told me that C told her about my confession and how she thinks it's weird because we are cousins. My aunt told her that it is totally up to her what to do next but being cousins is not a big deal.  Also, according to my aunt, C was very happy and excited about this whole thing, but was confused because she thought it was weird. So i told my aunt that I would send her articles of facts about cousin relationships so that she can send them over to her daughter to help her make a decision. Now, I thought about sending these articles myself to C, but I don't have a reason on why I would send them because she never told me she feels weird about it, she only told her mom that, not me. she told me that it was just too early to worry about these things and kept it at that. Now C doesn't know that i have discussed this with her mom and she made sure to tell her mom not to share with me what they talked about, but my Aunt really wants this to happen and that's why she is trying to help me. SO now I sent the articles to my aunt and hoping that she would share them with her daughter.

Do you guys think there's hope? Should I keep perusing this? or just move on? it is gonna be extremely hard moving on because i really like her, and honestly I had a few chances to hook up with other girls but refused to because all i could think of is her. What should I do next?

Please help! any advice is very much appreciated

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Try some punctuation and paragraphs to make this more readable and you will get more help.

Hello! this is the OP.

Thank you for the advice! I couldn't edit it however. So I just posted a shorter edited version of it here. I think the reason I couldn't edit or delete this post is because I posted it as a guest and didn't have an account when I posted it.

Again, Thank you!

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