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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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KattySays

I am in love with my slightly younger cousin.

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Ok so I am about to be 23 and he just turned 19.

This is how I fell in love with him

I have wanted to have a baby since I was 20, I have a decent work from home job. I have looked into adopting but I am too young in many of the agencies opinions. My cousin found out and told me he has loved me since He was 11. I though he was joking. He then said if I wanted a baby he would gladly be the father. I was so shocked and I couldn't believe it, so I said I didn't know what our family would think. so he spent every day texting me love letters. He would come over every weekend to stay and to talk to me showing how much he loved me. So I started to fall and now am madly in love. I recently found out I am 8 weeks pregnant and I have no idea how to tell my family. I also would like to know which states in the usa allow 1st cousin marriage if any. I also don't know if its right to make him a dad at 19.

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If you are pregnant by him, it is a little late to wonder if it is right to make him a dad at 19.

Look into the pages that have the states marriage laws listed. (Here on this site). We are not lawyers,

can't give legal advice but can point you in the direction to find the right answers.

As far as telling your family, honesty is the best policy. Will there be fallout? Probably, but you will

have to face them as the pregnancy will be obvious soon. And the worst you can do is lie to them about

the father, which is also denying your cousin the open rights to his child. This is the best advice  I have for now.

Someone else may come along soon with more or better. Use what is helpful and discard the rest.

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KattySays,

You and him both have kinda put the cart before the horse. But, you're both young, and that's to be expected. THAT SAID, you didn't mention where you are (and DON'T), so I shan't either, BUT, it's a very good thing you have a decent work from home job, because if my checker is right, your home needs to be in another State, and I mean as SOON as you can hoppy skip your behinds there. I would keep my mouth SHUT about the paternity of your child until you get out of your State. Provided he is your first cousin, it is a felony there to have such a relation, and, you just happen to be toting around empirical evidence of such. We're not lawyers, we don't give legal advice, but if I were you, I'd be lacing up my traveling shoes so I didn't NEED legal advice.....capeesh? 

As far as him being a father at 19, hey, happens to guys even younger than that. He's just going to have to buck up, and buckle down. He said he'd gladly do it, he's of legal age to do so, has loved you, (or at least had a horrible crush on you that has become more than puppy love) for several years now, so hey, I'm not going to say he can't do it, and be a good father at 19. I've seen good fathers at 19. Not most of them, but, he does seem motivated. Give him a chance, and as much encouragement and support as you can. He'll need to get busy figuring out what he's going to do to support you and his child as well. All I can tell him is get to it.

You will be looking for a lovely "green" State from here: https://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states I'm pretty partial to Georgia, but I hear Florida is the place to be this time of year. Arrivederci...

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