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I have always loved my cousin

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I have always loved my cousin. She is very hot and a blond  but before the internet and facebook, i don't think she ever had a myspace account,  we always saw each other at funerals, we always got along we first met each other when we was little kids back in the early 1980s. We are around the same age but she is two months older then me.  We haven't spoken to each other in 17 years since the last funeral in the 1990s, i would always think of her now and then. We live in the same state but we was hours from each other and i the time i didn't have my driver license or a car of my own to visit her. Recently we started talking to each other with my mom making comment that i was doing well in school. She was the first to reply to tell my mom that was awesome and tell him i said hello. I have been looking for her on facebook for quite sometime but i didn't know how to spell her name. We have started PM on facebook after 17 years of not talking or speaking to each other. But the bad part is she is married now and has a child when we started chatting again she gave me her phone number to call her. We talked for over a hour but her husband called in and said he was going to bring something to eat when she was preparing to fix dinner while talking to me. She told me to PM her before i call her and the second time, she was driving and the call kept dropping i was going to suggest that if i can call her when she got home. But she told me she had to cook dinner, i guess she don't want him to know she is talking to me. I will not rush into anything i keep my feelings for her to my self. I can still have fantasies about us cuddling and sleeping with each other. Nothing wrong with fantasies. I live in a state where cousin marriage or dating is legal, but it might not go that far with her being married and a new mommy. But i still love her secretly. I'm not going to tell her how i feel anytime soon. And she also told me it would be nice if we hung out with each other.

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