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Guest Livingunderthewater

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My first-cousin and I dated in secret for 7 years. We are Indian living in America. We recent decided to get married and told our family.  However, a huge fight started once the new breaks out and we are no longer together.

After that happened, I got treated badly by my extended family members (grandmother and aunts and uncles and especially aunt-in-law). My grandmother basically called me a whore for admitting my feelings for my cousin. And she does not seem to want to speak with me again; but always put up fake face when I come over.  His parents yelled at me and called me all bad names (whore; incest; seduce their son to get their family money; a disgrace to their family; a disgraceful girl who receives their help and then betrays them....etc).

My father wants me to move to another state and live there forever. And I don't want to live anywhere alone since I am scared. What should I do ?

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:( I can feel your pain, its nasty. Give some time, your family and relatives will eventually learn to deal with their own problems.

In the mean time, try to ignore your relatives. But, do you  know what does your cousin want?

I wonder why Indian families create so much drama  :undecided: , I honestly do not care about what my relatives have to say, all I care about is my parents. Stay strong and don't let your relatives make your life a hell. I also dealt with nasty family drama, some of them consistently bullied me and made me feel bad as if I had done something very wrong (lol). I don't wish bad on anyone, but I care about only those who truly care about me and rest of them can do whatever they want to lol I could careless.

Stay strong, this is all I can say and it will take some time but things will get better with time. But, since me and my cousin we don't talk maybe that is why I am able to move past everything. Whatever you do that is your life and you should not let anyone hurt you. If they do not respect your personal life, they don't deserve to be in your life. Stay away from negativity and drama.

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At first, my cousin hated me for betraying his trust.  He told me that I was supposed to fight with him but I did not.

I gave into the pressure due to harraaament from my parents and his parents and relatives. And I was given wrong info that my cousin gave up too. I did not have a lot of trust in him so I gave up.  And my cousin really hated me.

Last time we talked, he told me that he never want to see me or text me or talk to me again. I thought I did the right thing because I felt that my cousin really was sad due to his parents pressure. My whole family promises that they will find him another girl so he will be happy again very soon.  I thought that would be good for him and the family so I decided to give up my relationship.

Now I am in pain and wanting to move to another state to forget my past and start all over again.  But moving to another state with no family or friends makes me scared. What do you think I should do?

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