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Guest cautiouslyhopeful

I think we are close

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Ok, so I've been looking at this site for a while now. Reading everyones stories and seeing a lot of things that are common to us all who have a crush/love a cousin, and feel it's time that I contribute. Btw she is the most wonderful, beautiful , intellectual, stimulating, sexy woman I have ever known, and all I want is to make her feel that way. I'm a little nervous about putting this on here cause I think there is a chance she will read it and figure out who is posting this, but I kind of hope she does too.

  It all started so long ago I can't remember a time I didn't have a crush on her. She is is 8 years younger than me, but even when we were kids I knew there was going to be something between us at some point. I am in my 40's and she is in her mid 30's so we are both adults here. about 10 years ago or so ( maybe more) we began to hang out. go to bars with our friends and have a good ole time. there has always been chemistry between us, but nothing went further than some mild flirting, until one night I told her how attracted I was to her. she was a bit shocked and kept asking why. I didn't know what to tell her, as to why, but that I just am. we didn't have sex but did kiss passionately after that conversation. she kinda kept her distance from me a little , but not to the point that we didn't hang out together like always. So for years thing went on like before. We would go out, drink too much and she would stay the night at my place. sleep in the same bed. I didn't want to push her so I behaved myself and didn't do anything too uncousin like until one night I was giving her a message and totally undressed her. we kissed but I began to feel I was maybe pushing the envelope a bit so I just caressed her skin gently and kissed her back and shoulder a bit, rolled over and went to my side of the bed. She didn't seem to be phased by this. the next morning she was fine. I kind of expected her to be freaked out or grossed out or something but that didn't happen.she did say that "what happened last night was all you", but she didn't seem to mind and did give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me that she loved me when I dropped her off.  I'm taking that as a good sign!

  I thnk at that point she realized what I have had going through my head/heart for a long time, and think that she is beginning to wrap her head around it. we still hang out. nothing is weird between us , but neither  of us has had the guts to bring everything out into the open. I'm thinking it's about time that I do that. this needs to go one way or the other. and I for one think I am ready to give it a chance, and see where it takes us. she has always dated guys who were basically no good. and I have always dated women who were no good for me. I actually think that the family might be ok with it at our ages. they want me to find a good woman and for her to find a good man. I don't want to look back and regret not taking that chance.  Please let me know what you guys think. any advice is appreciated.

  So fast forward to the present,


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