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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Guest Cora

10 years secret relationship

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Il try explain our relationship first, I was told Todd was my first cousin when I was little but only met him once or twice throughout the years, then when I was 12 I was told my "dad " was my sisters dad but wasn't my biological dad, I felt like I lost all my family that day and didn't know who i was anymore. I stopped going to family functions because everyone knew I wasn't related but no one told me and a lot of bitchy comments I had got over the years from aunts / cousins made sense now.

When I was 16 I met Todd again and we got on well but I didn't see him again till I was 20 and he was 23 we hung out & became best friends and I could feel myself falling for him but I thought I was weird and was scared of how I was feeling so I never said anything but after a few drinks one night he kissed me, we didn't talk about it but it happened a few times and then we slept together after a few wks, we talked and decided we wouldn't tell our families as he is my sisters cousins and it might make things awkward, we continued on seeing eachother, moved in together as "roommates " after a few months and were happy till 3 years later I found out I was pregnant, he freaked out & left me, I kept the baby and when I was 8 months pregnant he got back I touch & we got back together, we have been together 10 years, have 2 kids together but no one knows he is there father, we always said we would leave where we live & start a new life because it's so small & we no our familys will make life hard for us & our kids and we just don't feel we can live here In Peace anymore, we've told so many lies and got ourselves in such a situation that we feel moving & starting fresh with our kids is our best option.

I'm just so scared if things don't work out for us that we will have left everything we know and I will be alone. We are planning to move next month and I'm having doubts but I no we can't stay here any longer either, as it is we've more or less cut ties with everyone and only see family occasionally and I've lost all my friends because I couldn't deal with the questions and one friend found out & lives near his family so I got scared and stopped talking to her.

After 10 yrs of lying I feel like I'm drained with it all, he & kids are all that matter to me now and I can't wait to move so we can be a proper family but I'm so scared of the unknown.

Has anyone been in same situation.

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i'd be willing to bet that your secret isn't really as secret as you think. you need to be truthful with the family. leaving somewhere and continuing the secret isn't fair to them, to you and your cousin, or to your children. you're both grown adults, and there is nothing legally or morally wrong with your relationship. you need to both find your backbone and do the right thing, because this will be a cloud over your heads forever if you don't. and not just your heads, but your kids heads. when they do eventually learn the truth, they will hate the both of you for the betrayal, and they will have a very negative outlook on cousin marriage.

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