dimpy23

Newbie .. Resurrection?

This topic has had no activity within the past six months. It is recommended that you start a new topic instead of replying to old topics.

9 posts in this topic

Hi everyone

I just found this site tonight and its just what I'm looking for.

Almost 30 years ago I did have a beautiful relationship with my first cousin. We got together after a family wedding and I gave him my most precious gift.

Some members of the family found out or guessed about us and the relationship stopped after about a year, to save problems for us both.

Time goes on, I saw him fairly regularly and still had feelings for him, my heart skipped a beat when we met and I often wondered what he was up to.

Recently, I contacted him about a potential house move I have coming up and as I'm divorced now,  needed a man to help with certain jobs like curtain poles etc., he was my first choice.

Ten the very next day after I text him, my aunt, his mom, passed away.  I've seen him 4 times since then, been to see him and his siblings and support and help them.  We even went for a drink on Christmas Eve.

I've emailed him tonight asking if he was thinking about resurrecting our relationship, waiting for a reply.  I really don't know what to do, I'm in two minds.  He is a lovely man, kind and thoughtful and we had really good times together all those years ago,

I did say at the outset that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, just cousins was fine BUT the more I'm away from him, the more I want to see him and be held by him and pursue things.

My mind is in a whirl.  No parents are alive now, just his siblings and my kids to think about. My kids are grown up.

Do i Follow my head or my heart?

Thanks.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he responds favorably then I would say go for it. Opportunities  are few and far between, and it sounds like you two are old enough to make your own decisions. I hope it works out for you.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he responds favorably then I would say go for it. Opportunities  are few and far between, and it sounds like you two are old enough to make your own decisions. I hope it works out for you.

Thanks for the advice.

Yep, we are both in the second flush of life, he's 58 and I'm 55 so the baby/child issues aren't relevant anymore. Just would be nice to be with a caring man for the rest of my life.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i agree with our guest... it sounds as if you are both free and single, so if he's interested too, then why not?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got a reply to my email which was:

"If I kissed you, would you kiss me back?"

I replied with a  :wink:

which meant 'yes'

I then proceeded to pour out my heart in a long email, saying that whilst I would love a relationship with him, I think for the sake of our families (especially my kids) probably not a good idea to resurrect anything but never say never.

Not heard any more  :embarrassed:

Wonder if I jumped in with the honesty a wee bit too soon?

Will be seeing him at the funeral this week, not really the best place/time to discuss our relationship.  I did think though, if there was an opportunity just to slip my hand in his, for comfort, I might do that - with a nice friendly smile - just 'being there'.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The question I have is how old are your kids? 

Maybe a wee bit hasty on the honest reply. I think if you are both of a mind

 to pursue this then I say GO FOR IT!  Don't pass up an opportunity to be happy

or at least give it a chance to see if it is indeed what will make you happy.

Life is too short to let these things pass you by.

Best wishes.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The question I have is how old are your kids?

Maybe a wee bit hasty on the honest reply. I think if you are both of a mind

to pursue this then I say GO FOR IT!  Don't pass up an opportunity to be happy

or at least give it a chance to see if it is indeed what will make you happy.

Life is too short to let these things pass you by.

Best wishes.

Hi Romalee

My kids are all in their 20s (x3)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think your kids are old enough to understand and hopefully would

want their mother to be happy. As you said the  baby factor is no more.

We all need companionship and its so much better with someone we really care for and love.

Give them the benefit of the doubt. You don't have to blurt it out all at once but maybe

 if the time feels right you might broach the subject in general.

They are not going to let you have say so in who they spend their life with and at

their ages doesn't give them the right to do that to you.  Sure they may be weirded out

to start with but once they see you are happy and sincere it goes a long way in the way they

will see the situation.  My kids love my hubby/cuz and can see how happy we are. They were also

grown when we got together.

I'm not saying this in any harsh or derogatory way just making a commet. Please don't take

it wrong.  We all love our kids and want to make them happy too.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Things are moving along positively.  Few raised eyebrows and suspicions being raised within immediate family.  Taking it steady but all the old feelings are flooding back  :smiley:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead