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Akshay

Cousin Marriage

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Hi.I'm from Tamil Nadu.I'm in love with my cousin.This is how we r related

Guy>>Mom>>Dad>>Mom>>Sister>>Daughter>>Daughter

I'm four years elder to her.

I want to know whether it is legal to marry her.I belong to Hinduism.will the people agree it or not?

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Akshay,

I'm going to try to follow this, tell me if I've got it right.

    Woman        Sister    (siblings)

 

Your grandpa    Her Mom  (1st cousins)

Your Mom        Her          (2nd cousins)

You

If this is how it looks, then you two are second cousins (primary relationship of her and your Mom) "once" (one generation in the family tree) removed. That is second cousins once removed. If I'm reading it as your Great-grandmother's sister's grand-daughter, this is how you are related.

So far as we know, from second cousins on out, it is legal to marry everywhere we know of in the world. I'm not sure where Tamil Nadu is, so, I'll go have a little peek on my IP checker to be sure....      Ok, I see it is in South India. Good news, bad news. The good news is, #1, as I said, so far as we know, it is legal, and, #2, in South India, there is not quite as strong of a cultural taboo as in the North of India against cousin couples. HOWEVER, if I were a betting man, I would bet that you would STILL have all kinds of the stupidest drama you have ever seen in your life. Expect it.

Genetically, you two share as much DNA as totally unrelated couples share. There would be NO expected adverse effects on any children you two may choose to have, as far as the known  issues between first cousin couples. Sleep easy over that. 

If it were me, here's how I would handle it. Since there is a set of Marriage Act's in India, regarding the major religions there, and so far as we know, in the Hindu Marriage Act, it is legal, I would first verify that, to be sure. If it is, and there is an Act, I will assume there is an accompanying marriage license that is issued. I would legally obtain the license. I would then show the license, and announce the engagement. I would announce that your wishes are for everyone to  participate, and be happy about the good news. I would also let it be very well known that anyone who does not agree, and would not wish to be a part of it would gladly be excused from participating. If NOBODY agrees, and wishes to participate, you simple have a civil wedding, OR, find religious leaders who will perform the marriage, unrelated witnesses if needed, and go that route. That the marriage can be stopped WOULD NOT BE AN OPTION. Listening to BS drama about it WOULD NOT BE TOLERATED. You will have to put your foot down hard, stand your ground, and stick to it. You will have to be more stubborn than them. No small feat probably, but certainly doable. 

I wish you the very best of luck..... :grin:

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Akshay,

Once again, you need to double check and be absolutely sure about the legalities of it, BUT, if the breakdown looks like what I posted, so far as we know, being here in the US and having a hard enough time deciphering OUR laws, it should be legal.

I'm also curious as to if she shares your feelings, and is willing to withstand the drama. Many times the woman faces much more crap than the man. She'll have to be willing to put her foot down too, and stand by you. 

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Thank u hawk and ofcourse she will stand by my side.In fact whenever I lose hope she never fails to b supportive.she is very much clear and strong in this relationship.

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Akshay,

Nice. That always helps, having a partner on the same page.... :wink:

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